If you are listening in to this podcast, there’s a good chance that you are a woman who wants to make the rest of your one precious life your best one possible.

You want to create a life where you are free to live on your terms without caring what others think. You are fulfilled by who you are, what you do, and how you do it. And you flourish confidently in your own skin, shining unapologetically as the star of your own show and spending your time on what matters, what truly matters.

You want to wake up feeling alive, inspired, and completely in love with the remarkable life you’ve created. And you can absolutely create a life just like that. I did, and I’ve witnessed countless women do the same.

But here’s what no one really talks about. Your new life comes at a cost. Your new life will cost you your old one. And that’s where most people hesitate. Because the real price of transformation? It’s not money.

It’s your identity. It’s your comfort. It’s everything familiar, even if the familiar isn’t making you happy. So when it comes to creating a life you love, the question I have for you is this. Are you willing to pay the price?

Let’s talk about it in today’s episode.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I’m your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you’re ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello, my friend. I’m so glad you’re here because today’s episode is one of those conversations that can truly change everything—if you’re willing to hear it.

I talk a lot about creating a life you love. The kind of life where you feel free, fulfilled and flourishing in every way. And every week here on this podcast and in my weekly email, CREATED, I share with you a lot of different mindset shifts, a lot of different strategies, tips and insights on how to do just that.

What I haven’t talked about quite so much is the cost of implementing the things I share. In fact, no one really talks about this a whole lot in the coaching space. But transformation, real transformation, long lasting transformation, it asks something pretty big of you.

So, I think it’s time we had this conversation. What does it actually cost you to step into a new life?

Generally, people love the idea of change, of something new or different, right? They love dreaming about the life they could have, the things they could do, have, and experience, the person they could become. But when it comes down to it, the price of making their dream life their reality stops most people in their tracks.

Because here’s the thing. You cannot live your new life and your old one at the same time. I’ll say that again. You cannot live your new life and your old one at the same time. Stepping into your new life means leaving your old one behind.

Think about it. You cannot live the life of a woman who is fit and healthy while you are living the life of a woman who doesn’t exercise, doesn’t eat healthy, or look after her body. You cannot live the life of a woman who puts her wants, needs and desires first while you are living the life of a woman who shows up for everyone else but you. You cannot live the life of a woman who confidently goes after her dream life while you live the life of a woman who is confused, indecisive, and filled with self-doubt.

And this is where so many of us come unstuck. You see, changing your life is not simply about changing your habits or setting new goals. It’s about shedding all the parts of you that no longer fit the life you’re creating. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to shed the whole of you as you are by the way, but it will most definitely mean that you need to shed some parts of who you are being.

Now, I want to be clear about one thing before we move on. Changing any part of who you are being is not about needing to fix you. You are not changing because a part of you is broken or a part of you isn’t good enough. You are changing because there is a version of you who is going to be better aligned with creating the life you desire.

I want you to be very clear on that. You are not broken as you are right now, and your life isn’t broken either. I know for some of you listening in, it might feel very much like you are broken. In my lowest moments, I felt like that too.

But who you are right now is an essential part of your life journey. Who you are is how you came to this point in time, ready to create a bigger and bolder life for yourself. Who you are is why you are ready and able to embrace this next chapter in your life. And who you are has always been evolving, not because you are broken, but because as humans, we naturally evolve throughout our entire life.

We don’t stay in our old child selves, we evolve into our teenage selves. We don’t stay as school kids, we evolve into working adults. When we commit to being in a relationship, we evolve from being single to being committed. When we have children, we evolve from being childless to being a mother. That all means leaving behind who we have been in some part to become the next version of ourselves. A version of ourselves who is better suited for getting the job done.

Imagine if you didn’t let go of your child self. How that would have turned out. Imagine if when you committed to a relationship that you didn’t let go of being single. How that would have turned out. Imagine not stepping into the you who is now a mother. How that would have turned out.

Letting go of parts of you to step into the next version of you is a natural part of life. Changing who you be is never about fixing you. It’s about choosing to create a new way of being so that you can experience a new way of living.

You’ve probably heard the saying, insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. The same goes for being. Being the same version of you over and over and expecting a different you to show up and create a different life is just not going to happen.

My friend, for things to be different in your life, things cannot remain the same. You cannot think the same thoughts, you cannot tell yourself the same limiting stories, believe the same beliefs about yourself and what’s possible for you, and expect your life to be different tomorrow than it is today.

So whether it’s a small part of you that needs to evolve, or many parts of you, for things to change, you have to change. And you are changing because you can, not because you are broken or somehow unworthy or not good enough as you are.

And that change for you might look like letting go of self-doubt, letting go of people-pleasing, letting go of the need for external validation. It might look like holding yourself accountable to higher standards. It might look like saying goodbye to settling for a life that’s good enough and giving yourself permission to step into a life where being your most remarkable self is your new norm.

And all of that, that is uncomfortable. Because the familiar—no matter how unfulfilled, underwhelmed, uninspired, unhappy, unseen, unheard, unvalued, or unloved it makes you feel—the familiar feels safe. It’s what you know. It’s who you’ve been. And the second you start to let go of it, you are going to feel the pull to hold on tight.

Listen, as humans we resist loss at all costs because we are conditioned to believe that loss is a negative thing. It’s a bad thing, a thing to be avoided.

We lock our car to prevent it being stolen while we do our shopping, to prevent the loss of it. We do the same with our home to prevent the loss of our beloved belongings. We sacrifice our needs and our own happiness to keep other people happy, to avoid the loss of their friendship or their love and approval. We take on more work than we can handle, to avoid the loss of our job or being overlooked for that next promotion.

We take conscious and subconscious action every single day to avoid loss in our lives. So it’s going to be important to start paying attention to how you view loss, how you think about leaving behind your old life, and how you view changing in some part who you be.

And the way I like to think about this, and this mindset changed everything for me, is that letting go of your old life and your old self it isn’t just about losing something. It’s investing in something greater. It’s about gaining something that is so much more than what and who you are leaving behind.

Because every time you release a thought, a belief, a habit, or a way of being that no longer fits your future, you’re making space for your future to take shape. For something that fits you better at this stage in your life to evolve and become your reality. You’re choosing to say YES! to the you who wakes up feeling alive, inspired and in love with her life.

Now if you want that life, you can have it. But you have to be willing to leave behind everything that is keeping you stuck in the one you’re living right now. And so, there are three things I want to share with you today that will help you find the courage you need to let go of your old life and step into something so much greater.

The first is to make peace with letting go.

It’s okay to feel sad about leaving your old self as you know her right now, and your old life, as you know it right now, behind. It’s okay to feel the loss and grieve it. In fact, I really recommend that you spend some time to reflect on what it is you are letting go of to make space for your new self and your new life and acknowledge the feelings that come up for you. Then make peace with them.

I know for me, part of letting go of my old self back when I thought I was broken, was letting go of the part of me who felt obliged to keep showing up in certain relationships, even though they drained me so heavily. I felt a lot of sadness and grief about letting go of those relationships, about no longer being part of the social events that would take place because I was letting go of them. Even though yes, they were really not bringing me any joy.

I still felt sad. I still felt this sense of grief. I felt a hollow in my sense of being because I stopped being that part of me. And that left a void, a space that the new me needed to step up and claim. And in that void, I gave myself, both my past self and my future self, a whole lot of grace and a whole lot of gratitude.

I spent time to acknowledge that the old me, who had shown up for the people she felt obligated to show up for, did the best she knew how. She did what she believed to be right, even though it didn’t turn out to be the right thing for her happiness.

I thanked her for doing that for as long as she did, because it is the only way I learned about the kind of relationships that I do want to have. The kind of connections that I value and that I want to experience in my lifetime. Learning that gave me the clarity about what I wanted moving forward and what kind of relationships would contribute to my joy. And that clarity gave me the confidence and the courage to let go of these relationships in my life.

It also informed who my future self needed to be. She needed to be a woman who was no longer willing to shrink herself or her dreams to make other people feel good about themselves. She needed to be a woman who no longer accepted being tolerated by the people she spent time with. She needed to be a woman who celebrated herself and surrounded herself with people who celebrated her too.

Now, becoming that version of me didn’t happen in an eye blink. I had to invite that version of me to fill the void and I didn’t always get being her right. And so that’s why I say I showed my past self and my future self a whole lot of grace and a whole lot of gratitude. Every time my future self didn’t show up and my past self decided to fill her shoes, I gave my future self grace and I thanked her for trying again until.

And the greater lesson for me, and I think for us all, is that not everything or everyone is meant to be forever. Like I said earlier, some parts of us are meant to evolve and change, just like some parts of your life and some people are meant to evolve and change. This doesn’t mean the past was wrong or wasted. It means it served its purpose and now, you’re ready for something different.

Now one way you can make this transition easier is to create an agreement between your past self and your future self that gives your future self permission to take the reins or have some kind of ceremony even that passes a torch from your old self to your new self to carry forward.

Some people like to write a letter to their old self, thanking her for everything and letting her know it’s time to step forward. Others do a small ritual, maybe lighting a candle, journaling, or even just saying out loud, “I release what no longer serves me, and I welcome what’s next.”

Whatever this looks like for you, the key is this. Acknowledge what it is you are leaving behind. Feel whatever emotions come up, and then, when you’re ready, choose to step forward. Because your new life? It’s ready and waiting for you and your future self is ready to take the reins as soon as you let go of your old life and your old way of being.

So, honor the past, grieve it if you need to. But don’t stay there. Remember, what you are letting go of is making space for everything that you stand to gain.

So, the next thing I want to share is this. You must get clear on the identity shift you are choosing to make. The choosing part is important. You are choosing to make this shift. You’re not making it because you have to or part of you needs to be fixed. You are choosing to become a new version of you who experiences a new way of life.

Spend the time you need to get crystal clear on the parts of your life that you want to let go of and the parts of yourself that is creating that life, and how you want your life to be different instead and who you need to show up as to fill the void of the parts of you that you are leaving behind.

Going back to that earlier example I shared about being a fit and healthy woman, the parts of your life you want to let go of might be not having the energy to run after your kids, not wearing the clothes you’d like to wear, not feeling confident at social events. Maybe you want to leave behind the health issues that being unfit and unhealthy are causing you. These are the parts of your life you no longer want to experience.

Now the you who is creating that life is the you who chooses to stay up late, scrolling aimlessly through social media. Then not getting the restful night’s sleep you need to ensure you wake up in time for your morning workout before you go to work. You need to let go of the part of you who spends too much time on social media.

You might also need to let go of the you who chooses to drink that extra glass of wine at dinner. Who chooses fast food over a healthy salad. Who tells herself it’s hopeless so why bother. You might need to let go of the part of you who believes that she cannot be a fit and healthy woman.

Instead, you want a life where you wake up feeling energized and vibrant. You have more than enough stamina to get you through the day and chase your kids around the park on weekends, or maybe take up a passion like mountain climbing or salsa or karate or whatever it might be for you.

You want a life where climbing the stairs doesn’t leave you feeling breathless. Where you show up in any room feeling amazing in your body, wearing clothes that embody the stylish, well-dressed woman you’ve always dreamed of being. You want a life where your free time is filled with visits to the spa, or lunch with friends who light your soul, not visits to the doctor and a drawer of pills.

So who do you need to be to create that kind of life? You might need to be a woman who prioritizes getting a good night’s sleep. Who goes for her morning workout and delights in getting to do that. You might need to be a woman who has the salad at lunch, even if that means eating at a different place to your work colleagues. And not because you have to, but because you choose to, and you make no apologies.

And you might need to be a woman who spends time every morning journaling and working on her mindset to shift those limiting beliefs you hold about your ability to be fit and healthy to more empowering beliefs that help you say YES! to being the fit and healthy you.

Then once you are clear, start embracing these identity shifts, just one at a time, one day at a time. Listen, there is no hurry, and this really isn’t a race. It’s not an all-or-nothing game either. Your success doesn’t rely on letting go of every old way of being all at once and changing yourself and your life overnight. Your success depends on you becoming your future self in a sustainable way.

Change requires that you stretch yourself out of your comfort zone and step into what’s new and unknown. And like a brand-new rubber band, if you stretch it to its max, it is going to snap back with a sting. But if you were to slowly and gently stretch that rubber band every day, little by little, over time, it begins to change shape. It loosens, and it no longer snaps back to its original shape and size. Until eventually, it no longer snaps back at all.

Shifting your identity is like this too. If you try and stretch yourself too much in the beginning, you are likely to snap back into your old ways of being just as quick. And when that happens, most of us start to tell ourselves that we can’t change, and we feel resigned to accept things as is.

But the truth is you can change. You’ve already done so countless times in your lifetime. The problem isn’t that you can’t change or that it’s too hard to change. The problem is that you stretched maybe a little too much and you rebounded.

So that’s why I always say to do this gradually. Choose just one identity shift and stretch yourself to step into that new way of being until you no longer snap back. Until that way becomes the new shape of you. Then choose the next thing and do the same.

I know it sounds like a really slow way to make progress, but slow progress that leads to lasting change is better than rebounding and giving up on your dreams. And the interesting thing that tends to happen is that one single change creates a snowball effect.

Getting that good night’s sleep means you feel more energetic in the morning. And because you are no longer dragging your feet out of bed, you feel more inspired to go and do that workout. It’s just a natural flow on effect from feeling rested, which was the shift that you were focused on. Then because you did a workout, when it comes to lunch, you are inspired to choose that salad. Because you choose a salad at lunch, you feel inspired to have a wine-free night.

And you get to the end of the day thinking, wow, this is possible for me. I can be a woman who takes care of her body in the way that a fit and healthy woman takes care of her body. And day after day, these natural flow on effects start to really take on a momentum of their own until suddenly, you are not even thinking about making these choices. They are just part of who you are and what you do. You are now being the future you and your health and fitness will have no choice but to become your reality.

Can you see how this works? Letting go of your old self and allowing your new self to fill the void just one small shift at a time is a sure way to making your new life your reality. So get clear, choose one part of your future self to stretch into, then gently and gradually stretch every day until you take on the shape of the future you. Then move right on to the next thing and the next.

And listen you don’t need to get this perfect. You won’t always get this right and initially you will snap back. Especially if you stretch a little too far too fast. What’s important is you keep stretching. And the more you stretch yourself to show up as a new you, the more your world will shift to match it.

It’s a case of being the change you want to see in your life. It’s understanding first and foremost that your new life isn’t something you create, it’s something you become—one day at a time, one YES! to letting go of the old you and showing up as a new you at a time.

Which brings me to the final thing I want to share with you today.

In that void between who you are and who you are becoming, things can get messy. And this messy in-between is what’s called the Growth Gap. It’s that strange in-between phase where your old life no longer truly fits, but your new life doesn’t quite feel like home just yet.

You’re stretching, you’re growing, and you are evolving, but it feels awkward, it’s unfamiliar. And some days it’s going to feel a whole lot easier to shrink back into what’s familiar than it is to keep pushing forward. And this is where so many women give up. Not because they can’t change, but because they mistake the discomfort they’re feeling for failure, or some kind of sign that what you want isn’t for you.

But here’s what I want you to know. Discomfort isn’t a sign that you’re doing something wrong or that your new life isn’t for you. It’s a sign that you’re doing something different, and different is exactly what creates change. Remember, for things to be different, you have to be different. For things to change, you have to change.

So instead of resisting the discomfort, I want you to learn to embrace it for what it really is. It’s simply the messy in-between of learning how to be the new you. Listen, stepping into a new version of yourself is going to feel awkward at first. It’s perfectly natural for it to feel awkward. You’ve never been this version of you.

When you start setting boundaries, you might feel guilty. When you stop people pleasing, you might feel selfish. When you start believing in yourself, you might feel like an imposter. These kind of feelings are going to cause you to feel some level of discomfort, but none of that means you’re doing it wrong. It just means that you are in transition, and transition can be messy.

Think about learning to walk as a baby. You didn’t just stand up one day and start running. You wobbled, you fell, you got back up. You took one shaky step at a time until eventually walking became second nature. This is exactly the same process.

So when you feel the pull to go back and hold on tight to what’s familiar, pause and remind yourself, this discomfort is proof that I am growing and this means I am in the process of becoming. And when you fall back into an old habit, an old way of being, when you have a moment where you don’t show up as your future self—instead of making it mean you’ve failed, make it mean you’re still learning and you’re still stretching into the new shape of you.

The reality is growth isn’t about never slipping back. It’s about catching yourself quicker each time and choosing again and again to step forward. It’s about remembering that you are letting go of your old self and your old life to make way for the new and keeping your sights fixed on what you stand to gain by continuing to move forward.

So, let’s do a quick recap on all of this before we wrap things up.

Your new life will cost you your old life. Make peace with letting go. Honor your past, feel the loss, but don’t stay there. Get clear on the identity shift you’re choosing to make and stretch into it just one shift at a time. And then embrace the Growth Gap that will happen, the discomfort, the awkwardness, the backslides. See them for what they are, part of the process. Remember the gap exists as an opportunity for you to learn and practice being the new you.

And the thing I’d like to leave you with today is this.

Your new life isn’t waiting for you at some distant finish line. It’s happening right now, in the small choices you make every single day. Your tomorrow is created by who you choose to be today. And the more you say YES! to the choices the future you is making, the quicker your new life will become your reality.

The question is, are you willing to pay the price? Are you willing to let go of your old life to experience the everyday of a life you wake up excited to live?

I’ll leave you with that thought and invite you to join me again next Wednesday, same time, same place, for more of my Self-Creation secrets to help you create a life you love.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what’s stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love?

Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what’s standing in your way today and I’ll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it.

That’s https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.

If you are listening in to this podcast, there’s a good chance that you are a woman who wants to make the rest of your one precious life your best one possible.

You want to create a life where you are free to live on your terms without caring what others think. You are fulfilled by who you are, what you do, and how you do it. And you flourish confidently in your own skin, shining unapologetically as the star of your own show and spending your time on what matters, what truly matters.

You want to wake up feeling alive, inspired, and completely in love with the remarkable life you’ve created. And you can absolutely create a life just like that. I did, and I’ve witnessed countless women do the same.

But here’s what no one really talks about. Your new life comes at a cost. Your new life will cost you your old one. And that’s where most people hesitate. Because the real price of transformation? It’s not money.

It’s your identity. It’s your comfort. It’s everything familiar, even if the familiar isn’t making you happy. So when it comes to creating a life you love, the question I have for you is this. Are you willing to pay the price?

Let’s talk about it in today’s episode.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I’m your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you’re ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello, my friend. I’m so glad you’re here because today’s episode is one of those conversations that can truly change everything—if you’re willing to hear it.

I talk a lot about creating a life you love. The kind of life where you feel free, fulfilled and flourishing in every way. And every week here on this podcast and in my weekly email, CREATED, I share with you a lot of different mindset shifts, a lot of different strategies, tips and insights on how to do just that.

What I haven’t talked about quite so much is the cost of implementing the things I share. In fact, no one really talks about this a whole lot in the coaching space. But transformation, real transformation, long lasting transformation, it asks something pretty big of you.

So, I think it’s time we had this conversation. What does it actually cost you to step into a new life?

Generally, people love the idea of change, of something new or different, right? They love dreaming about the life they could have, the things they could do, have, and experience, the person they could become. But when it comes down to it, the price of making their dream life their reality stops most people in their tracks.

Because here’s the thing. You cannot live your new life and your old one at the same time. I’ll say that again. You cannot live your new life and your old one at the same time. Stepping into your new life means leaving your old one behind.

Think about it. You cannot live the life of a woman who is fit and healthy while you are living the life of a woman who doesn’t exercise, doesn’t eat healthy, or look after her body. You cannot live the life of a woman who puts her wants, needs and desires first while you are living the life of a woman who shows up for everyone else but you. You cannot live the life of a woman who confidently goes after her dream life while you live the life of a woman who is confused, indecisive, and filled with self-doubt.

And this is where so many of us come unstuck. You see, changing your life is not simply about changing your habits or setting new goals. It’s about shedding all the parts of you that no longer fit the life you’re creating. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to shed the whole of you as you are by the way, but it will most definitely mean that you need to shed some parts of who you are being.

Now, I want to be clear about one thing before we move on. Changing any part of who you are being is not about needing to fix you. You are not changing because a part of you is broken or a part of you isn’t good enough. You are changing because there is a version of you who is going to be better aligned with creating the life you desire.

I want you to be very clear on that. You are not broken as you are right now, and your life isn’t broken either. I know for some of you listening in, it might feel very much like you are broken. In my lowest moments, I felt like that too.

But who you are right now is an essential part of your life journey. Who you are is how you came to this point in time, ready to create a bigger and bolder life for yourself. Who you are is why you are ready and able to embrace this next chapter in your life. And who you are has always been evolving, not because you are broken, but because as humans, we naturally evolve throughout our entire life.

We don’t stay in our old child selves, we evolve into our teenage selves. We don’t stay as school kids, we evolve into working adults. When we commit to being in a relationship, we evolve from being single to being committed. When we have children, we evolve from being childless to being a mother. That all means leaving behind who we have been in some part to become the next version of ourselves. A version of ourselves who is better suited for getting the job done.

Imagine if you didn’t let go of your child self. How that would have turned out. Imagine if when you committed to a relationship that you didn’t let go of being single. How that would have turned out. Imagine not stepping into the you who is now a mother. How that would have turned out.

Letting go of parts of you to step into the next version of you is a natural part of life. Changing who you be is never about fixing you. It’s about choosing to create a new way of being so that you can experience a new way of living.

You’ve probably heard the saying, insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. The same goes for being. Being the same version of you over and over and expecting a different you to show up and create a different life is just not going to happen.

My friend, for things to be different in your life, things cannot remain the same. You cannot think the same thoughts, you cannot tell yourself the same limiting stories, believe the same beliefs about yourself and what’s possible for you, and expect your life to be different tomorrow than it is today.

So whether it’s a small part of you that needs to evolve, or many parts of you, for things to change, you have to change. And you are changing because you can, not because you are broken or somehow unworthy or not good enough as you are.

And that change for you might look like letting go of self-doubt, letting go of people-pleasing, letting go of the need for external validation. It might look like holding yourself accountable to higher standards. It might look like saying goodbye to settling for a life that’s good enough and giving yourself permission to step into a life where being your most remarkable self is your new norm.

And all of that, that is uncomfortable. Because the familiar—no matter how unfulfilled, underwhelmed, uninspired, unhappy, unseen, unheard, unvalued, or unloved it makes you feel—the familiar feels safe. It’s what you know. It’s who you’ve been. And the second you start to let go of it, you are going to feel the pull to hold on tight.

Listen, as humans we resist loss at all costs because we are conditioned to believe that loss is a negative thing. It’s a bad thing, a thing to be avoided.

We lock our car to prevent it being stolen while we do our shopping, to prevent the loss of it. We do the same with our home to prevent the loss of our beloved belongings. We sacrifice our needs and our own happiness to keep other people happy, to avoid the loss of their friendship or their love and approval. We take on more work than we can handle, to avoid the loss of our job or being overlooked for that next promotion.

We take conscious and subconscious action every single day to avoid loss in our lives. So it’s going to be important to start paying attention to how you view loss, how you think about leaving behind your old life, and how you view changing in some part who you be.

And the way I like to think about this, and this mindset changed everything for me, is that letting go of your old life and your old self it isn’t just about losing something. It’s investing in something greater. It’s about gaining something that is so much more than what and who you are leaving behind.

Because every time you release a thought, a belief, a habit, or a way of being that no longer fits your future, you’re making space for your future to take shape. For something that fits you better at this stage in your life to evolve and become your reality. You’re choosing to say YES! to the you who wakes up feeling alive, inspired and in love with her life.

Now if you want that life, you can have it. But you have to be willing to leave behind everything that is keeping you stuck in the one you’re living right now. And so, there are three things I want to share with you today that will help you find the courage you need to let go of your old life and step into something so much greater.

The first is to make peace with letting go.

It’s okay to feel sad about leaving your old self as you know her right now, and your old life, as you know it right now, behind. It’s okay to feel the loss and grieve it. In fact, I really recommend that you spend some time to reflect on what it is you are letting go of to make space for your new self and your new life and acknowledge the feelings that come up for you. Then make peace with them.

I know for me, part of letting go of my old self back when I thought I was broken, was letting go of the part of me who felt obliged to keep showing up in certain relationships, even though they drained me so heavily. I felt a lot of sadness and grief about letting go of those relationships, about no longer being part of the social events that would take place because I was letting go of them. Even though yes, they were really not bringing me any joy.

I still felt sad. I still felt this sense of grief. I felt a hollow in my sense of being because I stopped being that part of me. And that left a void, a space that the new me needed to step up and claim. And in that void, I gave myself, both my past self and my future self, a whole lot of grace and a whole lot of gratitude.

I spent time to acknowledge that the old me, who had shown up for the people she felt obligated to show up for, did the best she knew how. She did what she believed to be right, even though it didn’t turn out to be the right thing for her happiness.

I thanked her for doing that for as long as she did, because it is the only way I learned about the kind of relationships that I do want to have. The kind of connections that I value and that I want to experience in my lifetime. Learning that gave me the clarity about what I wanted moving forward and what kind of relationships would contribute to my joy. And that clarity gave me the confidence and the courage to let go of these relationships in my life.

It also informed who my future self needed to be. She needed to be a woman who was no longer willing to shrink herself or her dreams to make other people feel good about themselves. She needed to be a woman who no longer accepted being tolerated by the people she spent time with. She needed to be a woman who celebrated herself and surrounded herself with people who celebrated her too.

Now, becoming that version of me didn’t happen in an eye blink. I had to invite that version of me to fill the void and I didn’t always get being her right. And so that’s why I say I showed my past self and my future self a whole lot of grace and a whole lot of gratitude. Every time my future self didn’t show up and my past self decided to fill her shoes, I gave my future self grace and I thanked her for trying again until.

And the greater lesson for me, and I think for us all, is that not everything or everyone is meant to be forever. Like I said earlier, some parts of us are meant to evolve and change, just like some parts of your life and some people are meant to evolve and change. This doesn’t mean the past was wrong or wasted. It means it served its purpose and now, you’re ready for something different.

Now one way you can make this transition easier is to create an agreement between your past self and your future self that gives your future self permission to take the reins or have some kind of ceremony even that passes a torch from your old self to your new self to carry forward.

Some people like to write a letter to their old self, thanking her for everything and letting her know it’s time to step forward. Others do a small ritual, maybe lighting a candle, journaling, or even just saying out loud, “I release what no longer serves me, and I welcome what’s next.”

Whatever this looks like for you, the key is this. Acknowledge what it is you are leaving behind. Feel whatever emotions come up, and then, when you’re ready, choose to step forward. Because your new life? It’s ready and waiting for you and your future self is ready to take the reins as soon as you let go of your old life and your old way of being.

So, honor the past, grieve it if you need to. But don’t stay there. Remember, what you are letting go of is making space for everything that you stand to gain.

So, the next thing I want to share is this. You must get clear on the identity shift you are choosing to make. The choosing part is important. You are choosing to make this shift. You’re not making it because you have to or part of you needs to be fixed. You are choosing to become a new version of you who experiences a new way of life.

Spend the time you need to get crystal clear on the parts of your life that you want to let go of and the parts of yourself that is creating that life, and how you want your life to be different instead and who you need to show up as to fill the void of the parts of you that you are leaving behind.

Going back to that earlier example I shared about being a fit and healthy woman, the parts of your life you want to let go of might be not having the energy to run after your kids, not wearing the clothes you’d like to wear, not feeling confident at social events. Maybe you want to leave behind the health issues that being unfit and unhealthy are causing you. These are the parts of your life you no longer want to experience.

Now the you who is creating that life is the you who chooses to stay up late, scrolling aimlessly through social media. Then not getting the restful night’s sleep you need to ensure you wake up in time for your morning workout before you go to work. You need to let go of the part of you who spends too much time on social media.

You might also need to let go of the you who chooses to drink that extra glass of wine at dinner. Who chooses fast food over a healthy salad. Who tells herself it’s hopeless so why bother. You might need to let go of the part of you who believes that she cannot be a fit and healthy woman.

Instead, you want a life where you wake up feeling energized and vibrant. You have more than enough stamina to get you through the day and chase your kids around the park on weekends, or maybe take up a passion like mountain climbing or salsa or karate or whatever it might be for you.

You want a life where climbing the stairs doesn’t leave you feeling breathless. Where you show up in any room feeling amazing in your body, wearing clothes that embody the stylish, well-dressed woman you’ve always dreamed of being. You want a life where your free time is filled with visits to the spa, or lunch with friends who light your soul, not visits to the doctor and a drawer of pills.

So who do you need to be to create that kind of life? You might need to be a woman who prioritizes getting a good night’s sleep. Who goes for her morning workout and delights in getting to do that. You might need to be a woman who has the salad at lunch, even if that means eating at a different place to your work colleagues. And not because you have to, but because you choose to, and you make no apologies.

And you might need to be a woman who spends time every morning journaling and working on her mindset to shift those limiting beliefs you hold about your ability to be fit and healthy to more empowering beliefs that help you say YES! to being the fit and healthy you.

Then once you are clear, start embracing these identity shifts, just one at a time, one day at a time. Listen, there is no hurry, and this really isn’t a race. It’s not an all-or-nothing game either. Your success doesn’t rely on letting go of every old way of being all at once and changing yourself and your life overnight. Your success depends on you becoming your future self in a sustainable way.

Change requires that you stretch yourself out of your comfort zone and step into what’s new and unknown. And like a brand-new rubber band, if you stretch it to its max, it is going to snap back with a sting. But if you were to slowly and gently stretch that rubber band every day, little by little, over time, it begins to change shape. It loosens, and it no longer snaps back to its original shape and size. Until eventually, it no longer snaps back at all.

Shifting your identity is like this too. If you try and stretch yourself too much in the beginning, you are likely to snap back into your old ways of being just as quick. And when that happens, most of us start to tell ourselves that we can’t change, and we feel resigned to accept things as is.

But the truth is you can change. You’ve already done so countless times in your lifetime. The problem isn’t that you can’t change or that it’s too hard to change. The problem is that you stretched maybe a little too much and you rebounded.

So that’s why I always say to do this gradually. Choose just one identity shift and stretch yourself to step into that new way of being until you no longer snap back. Until that way becomes the new shape of you. Then choose the next thing and do the same.

I know it sounds like a really slow way to make progress, but slow progress that leads to lasting change is better than rebounding and giving up on your dreams. And the interesting thing that tends to happen is that one single change creates a snowball effect.

Getting that good night’s sleep means you feel more energetic in the morning. And because you are no longer dragging your feet out of bed, you feel more inspired to go and do that workout. It’s just a natural flow on effect from feeling rested, which was the shift that you were focused on. Then because you did a workout, when it comes to lunch, you are inspired to choose that salad. Because you choose a salad at lunch, you feel inspired to have a wine-free night.

And you get to the end of the day thinking, wow, this is possible for me. I can be a woman who takes care of her body in the way that a fit and healthy woman takes care of her body. And day after day, these natural flow on effects start to really take on a momentum of their own until suddenly, you are not even thinking about making these choices. They are just part of who you are and what you do. You are now being the future you and your health and fitness will have no choice but to become your reality.

Can you see how this works? Letting go of your old self and allowing your new self to fill the void just one small shift at a time is a sure way to making your new life your reality. So get clear, choose one part of your future self to stretch into, then gently and gradually stretch every day until you take on the shape of the future you. Then move right on to the next thing and the next.

And listen you don’t need to get this perfect. You won’t always get this right and initially you will snap back. Especially if you stretch a little too far too fast. What’s important is you keep stretching. And the more you stretch yourself to show up as a new you, the more your world will shift to match it.

It’s a case of being the change you want to see in your life. It’s understanding first and foremost that your new life isn’t something you create, it’s something you become—one day at a time, one YES! to letting go of the old you and showing up as a new you at a time.

Which brings me to the final thing I want to share with you today.

In that void between who you are and who you are becoming, things can get messy. And this messy in-between is what’s called the Growth Gap. It’s that strange in-between phase where your old life no longer truly fits, but your new life doesn’t quite feel like home just yet.

You’re stretching, you’re growing, and you are evolving, but it feels awkward, it’s unfamiliar. And some days it’s going to feel a whole lot easier to shrink back into what’s familiar than it is to keep pushing forward. And this is where so many women give up. Not because they can’t change, but because they mistake the discomfort they’re feeling for failure, or some kind of sign that what you want isn’t for you.

But here’s what I want you to know. Discomfort isn’t a sign that you’re doing something wrong or that your new life isn’t for you. It’s a sign that you’re doing something different, and different is exactly what creates change. Remember, for things to be different, you have to be different. For things to change, you have to change.

So instead of resisting the discomfort, I want you to learn to embrace it for what it really is. It’s simply the messy in-between of learning how to be the new you. Listen, stepping into a new version of yourself is going to feel awkward at first. It’s perfectly natural for it to feel awkward. You’ve never been this version of you.

When you start setting boundaries, you might feel guilty. When you stop people pleasing, you might feel selfish. When you start believing in yourself, you might feel like an imposter. These kind of feelings are going to cause you to feel some level of discomfort, but none of that means you’re doing it wrong. It just means that you are in transition, and transition can be messy.

Think about learning to walk as a baby. You didn’t just stand up one day and start running. You wobbled, you fell, you got back up. You took one shaky step at a time until eventually walking became second nature. This is exactly the same process.

So when you feel the pull to go back and hold on tight to what’s familiar, pause and remind yourself, this discomfort is proof that I am growing and this means I am in the process of becoming. And when you fall back into an old habit, an old way of being, when you have a moment where you don’t show up as your future self—instead of making it mean you’ve failed, make it mean you’re still learning and you’re still stretching into the new shape of you.

The reality is growth isn’t about never slipping back. It’s about catching yourself quicker each time and choosing again and again to step forward. It’s about remembering that you are letting go of your old self and your old life to make way for the new and keeping your sights fixed on what you stand to gain by continuing to move forward.

So, let’s do a quick recap on all of this before we wrap things up.

Your new life will cost you your old life. Make peace with letting go. Honor your past, feel the loss, but don’t stay there. Get clear on the identity shift you’re choosing to make and stretch into it just one shift at a time. And then embrace the Growth Gap that will happen, the discomfort, the awkwardness, the backslides. See them for what they are, part of the process. Remember the gap exists as an opportunity for you to learn and practice being the new you.

And the thing I’d like to leave you with today is this.

Your new life isn’t waiting for you at some distant finish line. It’s happening right now, in the small choices you make every single day. Your tomorrow is created by who you choose to be today. And the more you say YES! to the choices the future you is making, the quicker your new life will become your reality.

The question is, are you willing to pay the price? Are you willing to let go of your old life to experience the everyday of a life you wake up excited to live?

I’ll leave you with that thought and invite you to join me again next Wednesday, same time, same place, for more of my Self-Creation secrets to help you create a life you love.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what’s stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love?

Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what’s standing in your way today and I’ll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it.

That’s https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.