Have you ever caught yourself being your own worst critic? Being harsher on yourself than you'd ever dream of being on others?

In today's world, where we are constantly measuring ourselves against the endless, seemingly picture-perfect lives and success stories we see on social media, it has become all too common to be entangled in this web of self-judgment, self-doubt, and highly critical self-talk.

What if I told you that the secret to a happier and more successful life lies not in pushing yourself harder or holding yourself to perfectionist standards, but in embracing yourself softer.

Today I'm talking about the power of self-compassion in helping you create a more richly fulfilling life. It's a skill that might just be your most potent tool yet for creating a life you love waking up to every single day.

So if you're ready to tell your inner critic to take a back seat, to make room for your inner ally, then stick around and listen in.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello, and thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode of the podcast, and a warm welcome to you if you are joining me for the very first time. The Self-Creation School podcast is a place where we talk about how to create a life you love, one YES! at a time.

I'm so happy to have you listen in. For me, today's episode is a really special one because the kindness of self-compassion is one of the most powerful gifts we can ever give to ourselves.

So many of us show more kindness to a stranger in the street than we do to the woman we spend 24 hours a day with, day in, day out, for our entire life. We'll readily lend a hand to others, lift others up when they're feeling down, offer them support and encouragement to keep going in the face of challenges or hard times.

We see the beauty in others, their gifts and talents. We see their strengths over their weaknesses, their successes over their failures. We remind them of how they are good enough, how they are deserving and worthy and loved.

Yet when it comes to our own need for love, support, positivity and encouragement, it's like we leave our manners elsewhere. We become this harsh, judgmental and highly critical version of ourselves that I think most of us wouldn't want to reveal to anyone outside of us. And we judge ourselves using a criteria that we apply to no one but ourselves. Because, let's face it, if we openly judged other people the way we often judge ourselves, and said the things we readily say to ourselves, especially in our times of need, we wouldn't have too many people in our world for very long at all.

So it's puzzling why the one person we need to live with every minute of every day, the one person who never leaves us, who carries us through our entire life, that we would want to treat her as poorly as we so often do.

I know for me personally, I spent years having no self-compassion for myself whatsoever. I didn't show up for myself, I didn't offer myself support or encouragement. I didn't think one positive thought about myself. Instead, I beat myself up over everything, and even more so when things weren't going right. Again, according to a criteria I wouldn't have ever applied to anyone else.

For the internal critic within me, I was simply never enough. Never pretty enough, never slim enough, never capable enough, smart enough, deserving enough, worthy enough. Every morning I'd wake up, look in the mirror and think, yep there she is again, that same old never enough woman another day older. How are you not going to measure up today, Leanne?

And I lived with this critical version of myself all day, every day, for years. She was there in a split second to tell me how I didn't measure up all day long. And I mean all day long. I know so many of you will relate.

She was there first thing in the morning to tell me how ragged I looked and how I wasn't aging well. She didn't show any compassion for the anxiety that had kept me awake all night long and my lack of sleep. She was there to remind me how my clothes no longer fit in the right places and how I was starting to look frumpy. Again, she had no compassion for the health challenges I was going through that meant I could no longer exercise like I used to.

She dished out judgment and criticism about everything I did or didn't do. She even had something critical to say about what I thought and what I felt. Have you ever beaten yourself up for feeling emotional, feeling overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted and hopeless? I sure did, with zero compassion or understanding for what was happening in my life to make me feel emotional, overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted and hopeless.

If it was my friend who expressed these same feelings of overwhelm and physical exhaustion, I would have wrapped her in love and treated her to a session at the spa. For me, I simply beat myself up for feeling this way and pushed myself to work harder. Maybe you know how this goes.

And I eventually reached a day during some of the most darkest moments in my life, everything in my life was falling apart, when I faced myself in the mirror with a look of judgment and self-loathing I will never forget. That disappointment and disgust I had for who I saw reflected back to me is a moment in time that completely changed my world. Because I realized, if all went to plan, I had a whole other lifetime to go. I was at the halfway mark, and I did not want to spend the rest of my days with this version of me who had zero love, zero acceptance, belief or compassion for herself.

And I drew a line in the sand and declared that me and this woman in the mirror I saw each day were going to learn how to be friends, and not just friends, but the best of friends.

That was the start of a really beautiful friendship. One where I have so much compassion for this woman who I am, who has brought me this far in the best way she knew how. And who shows up every day for the future me in the best way she knows how. It's the kind of friendship that means no matter what else is happening in my world, I know there's always a place within where I can seek solitude, support, comfort, love, understanding and encouragement.

And it's through this kind of compassionate friendship with myself that I've been able to support myself in such a way that I opened the doors to a far more richly fulfilling life.

By showing myself compassion, love and support, I overcame my default emotional state of anxiety and overwhelm. Because of that, my sleep improved, and my health improved. My clarity of mind improved. I became better able to encourage myself. To see my strengths instead of my weaknesses. I started allowing myself to be enough. I started allowing myself to be worthy and deserving of my wants, needs and desires. I started allowing a more fulfilling life to be possible.

In reminding myself of my successes instead of constantly beating myself up for my failures, I gained the confidence and self-belief to follow my dreams and passions, which meant I moved country to experience a life I had long dreamed of, and I love living out as we speak. I founded The Self-Creation School and do work that lights me up every single day. I am actively recreating my world and living out my dreams.

But most importantly, when I started having a relationship with myself that embodied the essence of the kind of relationships I long for outside of me, my marriage, which was facing divorce, changed for the better. It not only healed but it's grown stronger than I ever thought possible. And I was able to remove people from my life who didn't support me or treat me well, which made room for new people to enter my life who do.

When I started showing up for me, the world I wanted started showing up for me too.

I'm not going to tell you this all happened overnight, but it did happen in a very short span of time. My friend, if you are used to beating yourself up, being harsh and critical, withholding the kind of love and support from yourself that you would readily show to other people, I know it can feel like this isn't possible for you. I've absolutely been in that place, you're not alone. But I'm on the other side of it and that's why I know you can be too.

I'm going to share tips on how you can show yourself more self-compassion in just a moment. But for now, know that shifting from self-judgment and self-criticism to self-compassion is possible.

It can be as simple as making a decision right here in this moment to treat yourself with the same love and respect you show to those you love the most in your life. Drawing that line in the sand like I did and deciding, enough is enough, it's time to create a friendship with yourself where you love every bit of who you see in the mirror, support yourself unwaveringly, and give yourself the kind of encouragement that lifts you to new heights.

I know how having that kind of friendship can change your world. And I really want that for you too.

So let's talk about how you could show yourself more self-compassion. And I want to start by making sure we are on the same page about exactly what self-compassion is and isn’t.

At its core, self-compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness, care and understanding that you would offer to a good friend when they're struggling. It's a practice that's grounded in three key components.

And the first component is self-kindness. This means being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we suffer, when we fail or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or beating ourselves up with self-criticism.

The second component is mindfulness. This involves being aware of the present moment, which allows us to recognize our suffering without over-identifying with it. And what I'm talking about here is the tendency we have sometimes to become so entangled in our negative emotions that they define us.

Over-identification means seeing an emotion such as sadness or failure as an all-encompassing part of who we are, rather than a temporary experience. So for example, instead of thinking I'm sad and therefore my life is sad, mindfulness teaches us to observe, I feel sadness right now, but it is just one part of my complex human experience.

This approach allows us to acknowledge and accept our feelings without letting them overwhelm us or dictate our sense of self. It gives us the space to be able to say, this is how I feel right now, but it does not define me. And by doing so we can experience our emotions like clouds passing in the sky. They're visible and they're valid, yet they're short lived and not all-defining.

This subtle shift in how we view our emotions can make a significant difference. It prevents us from spiraling into a negative self-image based on our current feelings and enables us to maintain a more balanced and compassionate perspective towards ourselves.

And the third component to self-compassion is common humanity. This element of self-compassion is about recognizing that suffering and feelings of inadequacy are universal experiences, not something that happen to just you in isolation.

When we experience setbacks or disappointments, it's easy to feel as though we're the only one struggling or failing. But when we understand that these experiences are part of being human, it helps us feel connected rather than isolated in our moments of pain. It reminds us that everyone goes through tough times, not because we are flawed or lacking in some way, but simply because we are human.

By embracing the common humanity aspect of self-compassion, we allow ourselves to be imperfect and to connect more deeply with the world, knowing that our experiences are shared by many.

Now, often, people confuse self-compassion with self-esteem or self-pity. But there are distinct differences that set it apart.

Self-esteem often hinges on our successes and the approval of others, so it makes us somewhat conditional. Whereas self-compassion is unconditional. It's there for us, especially when we fail or make mistakes. It's not about judging ourselves as good or bad, but about giving ourselves permission to be human, to learn, and to grow.

Self-esteem can fluctuate based on external circumstances such as our perceived performance or social comparison. In contrast, self-compassion is about embracing our inherent worthiness without condition, allowing us to accept ourselves fully regardless of how well we perform or how we are perceived by others.

And self-pity involves exaggerating our misfortunes and creates a sense of separation from others. Whereas self-compassion emphasizes inter-connectedness and maintains a balanced perspective on our experiences. Self-pity can lead us to dwell excessively on our troubles and wallow in our misfortunes. Self-compassion encourages us to see things as they are, neither ignoring our pain nor blowing it out of proportion. And it reminds us that suffering is part of the shared human experience.

Now, here's why having self-compassion is not just nice to have, but essential.

When I think back to the time in my life when I was constantly on edge, striving for perfection in every aspect of my life to make up for my self-imposed lack of worthiness, every small mistake felt monumental. And I was truly trapped in this cycle of self-doubt and criticism. It was emotionally, mentally and physically exhausting. And it kept me stuck in every aspect of my life.

It wasn't until I embraced self-compassion that I truly began to flourish, that I learned how to forgive myself for my mistakes, to understand that failure was part of learning and growth, and to not make that mean anything more than that about who I was as a person. I learned to treat myself with the care I'd typically reserved for others.

These shifts didn't just change how I felt, they transformed what I was capable of achieving. Because self-compassion lays a foundation for resilience. When we stop being our own harshest critics and start being our own best supporters, we create a safe space for taking risk and embracing change. We're more likely to bounce back from setbacks and less likely to fear new challenges.

And what's more, self-compassion enhances our emotional well-being. Studies have actually shown that those who practice self-compassion experience much lower levels of anxiety and depression and higher levels of happiness and optimism. This isn't surprising when you consider that self-compassion teaches us to meet our negative emotions with understanding rather than avoidance or denial.

I certainly know how treating myself with compassion helped me to reduce my anxiety, overwhelm and feelings of hopelessness. And I know what has become possible in my world through my ability to tackle those bigger and bolder challenges.

Especially so because when it comes to using identity-based change to become the woman we need to be to have the life we want, self-compassion is an absolute game changer. It allows us to shift our self-perception in a way that shines a light on our best qualities and supports us in taking the action we need to take to create the results in our life we desire.

Self-compassion also fosters a kind of self-knowledge and emotional agility that is critical in today's fast paced world. By being compassionate towards ourselves, we are better equipped to take to handle challenges in our relationships with others with grace, to lead with empathy, to build stronger, more supportive relationships, both personally and professionally.

Ultimately, self-compassion is about granting ourselves the freedom to be imperfect. To grow and to thrive, not despite our flaws and setbacks, but because of what they teach us. And that is why it is so very powerful.

So let's talk about some practical tips for how you can start being more self-compassionate in your daily life. And I want you to understand at the outset that this isn't just about feeling better in the moment. It's about building a sustainable practice that can transform your relationship with yourself and that will, by extension, transform your relationship with your world and those in it. I have three tips to share with you today.

Number one is to practice self-forgiveness. One of the first steps to developing self-compassion is learning to forgive yourself. This is such a big one, my friend. This means accepting that mistakes are not failures, but opportunities for learning and growth.

For instance, if you miss a deadline or react poorly in a stressful situation, instead of berating yourself, take a moment to acknowledge what didn't go right, learn from it, and forgive yourself. You might say, “It's okay, I didn't get this right, I'm learning. And next time I can approach this differently.”

I also recommend taking some time to reflect on past instances where you feel like you've failed and journal about the positive things that have actually happened in your life as a result since. This can be a very powerful way to begin to see how things that don't plan out exactly how we want them to can actually serve us very well in the future.

Tip number two is to practice self-gratitude. Be grateful for the woman you have been up to now. She has done the best she knew how to bring you this far. Because of her struggles, her challenges, her lessons, her experiences, you have her shoulders to stand on and her strength and wisdom to build on. So be very grateful for you, because the honest truth is, without you, you wouldn't exist today.

So take a few moments every morning to write down three things you are grateful about for yourself. It's such a positive way to start your day and it really does help to open up your ability to show yourself compassion throughout the day.

And finally, tip number three is to start reframing your internal dialogue. The way we talk to ourselves significantly impacts our self-perception. Start noticing when your inner dialogue is harsh or critical. Actively work to change these thoughts.

For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I'm not good enough”, pause for a moment and reframe that to something like, “I am doing my best and that is enough.” It's about replacing criticism with encouragement, much like you would do for your best friend.

I personally like to do this by keeping a small notepad or journal with me to jot down instances where I find I'm talking harshly to myself. This serves as a really great pattern interrupt mechanism and also the act of writing down more positively reframed thoughts helps to build a bank of affirmations for seeing yourself in a much more positive light.

Start incorporating these three practices into your daily life and remember to have patience. As I said earlier, my own transformation didn't happen overnight, but it can happen more quickly you think if you practice these three simple things consistently and stay committed to building this friendship with yourself one day at a time.

You won't always get it right. You will catch yourself out being harsh and critical. I still do. But regular practice in self-forgiveness, self-gratitude and a positive self-talk will make it quicker and easier over time to tap into your self-compassion. Eventually, you'll find that being kind to yourself becomes just a natural part of who you are. And as this kindness becomes a habit, you'll notice profound changes not only in how you treat yourself, but in how you interact with the world around you.

As I wrap up today's episode on the power of self-compassion, remember that this practice is about becoming a compassionate friend to yourself. It's about changing the conversations you have in your head and recognizing that you deserve your own kindness just as much as anyone else. Self-compassion is not an indulgence, it's about giving yourself the grace to grow and thrive.

I encourage you to start practicing self-compassion right away. What's one thing you could forgive yourself for today? What are those three things you are grateful for about yourself in this moment? What internal conversation are you having right now that you could reframe more positively?

These actions will help you build resilience and start leading a life marked by genuine self-acceptance and joy. A life where you wholeheartedly love the woman who greets you in the mirror each day, knowing that she's got your back and she's a hundred percent behind you. That, my friend, is a life that feels so good to wake up to.

Thanks so much for joining me today in this discussion. And if you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might benefit from it as well. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for more of my Self-Creation tips and insights for saying YES! to a life you love in every Wednesday. I'll see you next week.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, have you joined my FREE mini-workshop the Week of YES!? This powerful five-day workshop will help you take your foot off the brake and start saying YES! to more of the life you crave. Isn't it time you created a life you're beyond excited to wake up to? It all begins with saying YES!. Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/weekofyes and get started on your YES! story today. I'll see you there.

Have you ever caught yourself being your own worst critic? Being harsher on yourself than you'd ever dream of being on others?

In today's world, where we are constantly measuring ourselves against the endless, seemingly picture-perfect lives and success stories we see on social media, it has become all too common to be entangled in this web of self-judgment, self-doubt, and highly critical self-talk.

What if I told you that the secret to a happier and more successful life lies not in pushing yourself harder or holding yourself to perfectionist standards, but in embracing yourself softer.

Today I'm talking about the power of self-compassion in helping you create a more richly fulfilling life. It's a skill that might just be your most potent tool yet for creating a life you love waking up to every single day.

So if you're ready to tell your inner critic to take a back seat, to make room for your inner ally, then stick around and listen in.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello, and thanks so much for tuning in to this week's episode of the podcast, and a warm welcome to you if you are joining me for the very first time. The Self-Creation School podcast is a place where we talk about how to create a life you love, one YES! at a time.

I'm so happy to have you listen in. For me, today's episode is a really special one because the kindness of self-compassion is one of the most powerful gifts we can ever give to ourselves.

So many of us show more kindness to a stranger in the street than we do to the woman we spend 24 hours a day with, day in, day out, for our entire life. We'll readily lend a hand to others, lift others up when they're feeling down, offer them support and encouragement to keep going in the face of challenges or hard times.

We see the beauty in others, their gifts and talents. We see their strengths over their weaknesses, their successes over their failures. We remind them of how they are good enough, how they are deserving and worthy and loved.

Yet when it comes to our own need for love, support, positivity and encouragement, it's like we leave our manners elsewhere. We become this harsh, judgmental and highly critical version of ourselves that I think most of us wouldn't want to reveal to anyone outside of us. And we judge ourselves using a criteria that we apply to no one but ourselves. Because, let's face it, if we openly judged other people the way we often judge ourselves, and said the things we readily say to ourselves, especially in our times of need, we wouldn't have too many people in our world for very long at all.

So it's puzzling why the one person we need to live with every minute of every day, the one person who never leaves us, who carries us through our entire life, that we would want to treat her as poorly as we so often do.

I know for me personally, I spent years having no self-compassion for myself whatsoever. I didn't show up for myself, I didn't offer myself support or encouragement. I didn't think one positive thought about myself. Instead, I beat myself up over everything, and even more so when things weren't going right. Again, according to a criteria I wouldn't have ever applied to anyone else.

For the internal critic within me, I was simply never enough. Never pretty enough, never slim enough, never capable enough, smart enough, deserving enough, worthy enough. Every morning I'd wake up, look in the mirror and think, yep there she is again, that same old never enough woman another day older. How are you not going to measure up today, Leanne?

And I lived with this critical version of myself all day, every day, for years. She was there in a split second to tell me how I didn't measure up all day long. And I mean all day long. I know so many of you will relate.

She was there first thing in the morning to tell me how ragged I looked and how I wasn't aging well. She didn't show any compassion for the anxiety that had kept me awake all night long and my lack of sleep. She was there to remind me how my clothes no longer fit in the right places and how I was starting to look frumpy. Again, she had no compassion for the health challenges I was going through that meant I could no longer exercise like I used to.

She dished out judgment and criticism about everything I did or didn't do. She even had something critical to say about what I thought and what I felt. Have you ever beaten yourself up for feeling emotional, feeling overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted and hopeless? I sure did, with zero compassion or understanding for what was happening in my life to make me feel emotional, overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted and hopeless.

If it was my friend who expressed these same feelings of overwhelm and physical exhaustion, I would have wrapped her in love and treated her to a session at the spa. For me, I simply beat myself up for feeling this way and pushed myself to work harder. Maybe you know how this goes.

And I eventually reached a day during some of the most darkest moments in my life, everything in my life was falling apart, when I faced myself in the mirror with a look of judgment and self-loathing I will never forget. That disappointment and disgust I had for who I saw reflected back to me is a moment in time that completely changed my world. Because I realized, if all went to plan, I had a whole other lifetime to go. I was at the halfway mark, and I did not want to spend the rest of my days with this version of me who had zero love, zero acceptance, belief or compassion for herself.

And I drew a line in the sand and declared that me and this woman in the mirror I saw each day were going to learn how to be friends, and not just friends, but the best of friends.

That was the start of a really beautiful friendship. One where I have so much compassion for this woman who I am, who has brought me this far in the best way she knew how. And who shows up every day for the future me in the best way she knows how. It's the kind of friendship that means no matter what else is happening in my world, I know there's always a place within where I can seek solitude, support, comfort, love, understanding and encouragement.

And it's through this kind of compassionate friendship with myself that I've been able to support myself in such a way that I opened the doors to a far more richly fulfilling life.

By showing myself compassion, love and support, I overcame my default emotional state of anxiety and overwhelm. Because of that, my sleep improved, and my health improved. My clarity of mind improved. I became better able to encourage myself. To see my strengths instead of my weaknesses. I started allowing myself to be enough. I started allowing myself to be worthy and deserving of my wants, needs and desires. I started allowing a more fulfilling life to be possible.

In reminding myself of my successes instead of constantly beating myself up for my failures, I gained the confidence and self-belief to follow my dreams and passions, which meant I moved country to experience a life I had long dreamed of, and I love living out as we speak. I founded The Self-Creation School and do work that lights me up every single day. I am actively recreating my world and living out my dreams.

But most importantly, when I started having a relationship with myself that embodied the essence of the kind of relationships I long for outside of me, my marriage, which was facing divorce, changed for the better. It not only healed but it's grown stronger than I ever thought possible. And I was able to remove people from my life who didn't support me or treat me well, which made room for new people to enter my life who do.

When I started showing up for me, the world I wanted started showing up for me too.

I'm not going to tell you this all happened overnight, but it did happen in a very short span of time. My friend, if you are used to beating yourself up, being harsh and critical, withholding the kind of love and support from yourself that you would readily show to other people, I know it can feel like this isn't possible for you. I've absolutely been in that place, you're not alone. But I'm on the other side of it and that's why I know you can be too.

I'm going to share tips on how you can show yourself more self-compassion in just a moment. But for now, know that shifting from self-judgment and self-criticism to self-compassion is possible.

It can be as simple as making a decision right here in this moment to treat yourself with the same love and respect you show to those you love the most in your life. Drawing that line in the sand like I did and deciding, enough is enough, it's time to create a friendship with yourself where you love every bit of who you see in the mirror, support yourself unwaveringly, and give yourself the kind of encouragement that lifts you to new heights.

I know how having that kind of friendship can change your world. And I really want that for you too.

So let's talk about how you could show yourself more self-compassion. And I want to start by making sure we are on the same page about exactly what self-compassion is and isn’t.

At its core, self-compassion is treating yourself with the same kindness, care and understanding that you would offer to a good friend when they're struggling. It's a practice that's grounded in three key components.

And the first component is self-kindness. This means being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we suffer, when we fail or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or beating ourselves up with self-criticism.

The second component is mindfulness. This involves being aware of the present moment, which allows us to recognize our suffering without over-identifying with it. And what I'm talking about here is the tendency we have sometimes to become so entangled in our negative emotions that they define us.

Over-identification means seeing an emotion such as sadness or failure as an all-encompassing part of who we are, rather than a temporary experience. So for example, instead of thinking I'm sad and therefore my life is sad, mindfulness teaches us to observe, I feel sadness right now, but it is just one part of my complex human experience.

This approach allows us to acknowledge and accept our feelings without letting them overwhelm us or dictate our sense of self. It gives us the space to be able to say, this is how I feel right now, but it does not define me. And by doing so we can experience our emotions like clouds passing in the sky. They're visible and they're valid, yet they're short lived and not all-defining.

This subtle shift in how we view our emotions can make a significant difference. It prevents us from spiraling into a negative self-image based on our current feelings and enables us to maintain a more balanced and compassionate perspective towards ourselves.

And the third component to self-compassion is common humanity. This element of self-compassion is about recognizing that suffering and feelings of inadequacy are universal experiences, not something that happen to just you in isolation.

When we experience setbacks or disappointments, it's easy to feel as though we're the only one struggling or failing. But when we understand that these experiences are part of being human, it helps us feel connected rather than isolated in our moments of pain. It reminds us that everyone goes through tough times, not because we are flawed or lacking in some way, but simply because we are human.

By embracing the common humanity aspect of self-compassion, we allow ourselves to be imperfect and to connect more deeply with the world, knowing that our experiences are shared by many.

Now, often, people confuse self-compassion with self-esteem or self-pity. But there are distinct differences that set it apart.

Self-esteem often hinges on our successes and the approval of others, so it makes us somewhat conditional. Whereas self-compassion is unconditional. It's there for us, especially when we fail or make mistakes. It's not about judging ourselves as good or bad, but about giving ourselves permission to be human, to learn, and to grow.

Self-esteem can fluctuate based on external circumstances such as our perceived performance or social comparison. In contrast, self-compassion is about embracing our inherent worthiness without condition, allowing us to accept ourselves fully regardless of how well we perform or how we are perceived by others.

And self-pity involves exaggerating our misfortunes and creates a sense of separation from others. Whereas self-compassion emphasizes inter-connectedness and maintains a balanced perspective on our experiences. Self-pity can lead us to dwell excessively on our troubles and wallow in our misfortunes. Self-compassion encourages us to see things as they are, neither ignoring our pain nor blowing it out of proportion. And it reminds us that suffering is part of the shared human experience.

Now, here's why having self-compassion is not just nice to have, but essential.

When I think back to the time in my life when I was constantly on edge, striving for perfection in every aspect of my life to make up for my self-imposed lack of worthiness, every small mistake felt monumental. And I was truly trapped in this cycle of self-doubt and criticism. It was emotionally, mentally and physically exhausting. And it kept me stuck in every aspect of my life.

It wasn't until I embraced self-compassion that I truly began to flourish, that I learned how to forgive myself for my mistakes, to understand that failure was part of learning and growth, and to not make that mean anything more than that about who I was as a person. I learned to treat myself with the care I'd typically reserved for others.

These shifts didn't just change how I felt, they transformed what I was capable of achieving. Because self-compassion lays a foundation for resilience. When we stop being our own harshest critics and start being our own best supporters, we create a safe space for taking risk and embracing change. We're more likely to bounce back from setbacks and less likely to fear new challenges.

And what's more, self-compassion enhances our emotional well-being. Studies have actually shown that those who practice self-compassion experience much lower levels of anxiety and depression and higher levels of happiness and optimism. This isn't surprising when you consider that self-compassion teaches us to meet our negative emotions with understanding rather than avoidance or denial.

I certainly know how treating myself with compassion helped me to reduce my anxiety, overwhelm and feelings of hopelessness. And I know what has become possible in my world through my ability to tackle those bigger and bolder challenges.

Especially so because when it comes to using identity-based change to become the woman we need to be to have the life we want, self-compassion is an absolute game changer. It allows us to shift our self-perception in a way that shines a light on our best qualities and supports us in taking the action we need to take to create the results in our life we desire.

Self-compassion also fosters a kind of self-knowledge and emotional agility that is critical in today's fast paced world. By being compassionate towards ourselves, we are better equipped to take to handle challenges in our relationships with others with grace, to lead with empathy, to build stronger, more supportive relationships, both personally and professionally.

Ultimately, self-compassion is about granting ourselves the freedom to be imperfect. To grow and to thrive, not despite our flaws and setbacks, but because of what they teach us. And that is why it is so very powerful.

So let's talk about some practical tips for how you can start being more self-compassionate in your daily life. And I want you to understand at the outset that this isn't just about feeling better in the moment. It's about building a sustainable practice that can transform your relationship with yourself and that will, by extension, transform your relationship with your world and those in it. I have three tips to share with you today.

Number one is to practice self-forgiveness. One of the first steps to developing self-compassion is learning to forgive yourself. This is such a big one, my friend. This means accepting that mistakes are not failures, but opportunities for learning and growth.

For instance, if you miss a deadline or react poorly in a stressful situation, instead of berating yourself, take a moment to acknowledge what didn't go right, learn from it, and forgive yourself. You might say, “It's okay, I didn't get this right, I'm learning. And next time I can approach this differently.”

I also recommend taking some time to reflect on past instances where you feel like you've failed and journal about the positive things that have actually happened in your life as a result since. This can be a very powerful way to begin to see how things that don't plan out exactly how we want them to can actually serve us very well in the future.

Tip number two is to practice self-gratitude. Be grateful for the woman you have been up to now. She has done the best she knew how to bring you this far. Because of her struggles, her challenges, her lessons, her experiences, you have her shoulders to stand on and her strength and wisdom to build on. So be very grateful for you, because the honest truth is, without you, you wouldn't exist today.

So take a few moments every morning to write down three things you are grateful about for yourself. It's such a positive way to start your day and it really does help to open up your ability to show yourself compassion throughout the day.

And finally, tip number three is to start reframing your internal dialogue. The way we talk to ourselves significantly impacts our self-perception. Start noticing when your inner dialogue is harsh or critical. Actively work to change these thoughts.

For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I'm not good enough”, pause for a moment and reframe that to something like, “I am doing my best and that is enough.” It's about replacing criticism with encouragement, much like you would do for your best friend.

I personally like to do this by keeping a small notepad or journal with me to jot down instances where I find I'm talking harshly to myself. This serves as a really great pattern interrupt mechanism and also the act of writing down more positively reframed thoughts helps to build a bank of affirmations for seeing yourself in a much more positive light.

Start incorporating these three practices into your daily life and remember to have patience. As I said earlier, my own transformation didn't happen overnight, but it can happen more quickly you think if you practice these three simple things consistently and stay committed to building this friendship with yourself one day at a time.

You won't always get it right. You will catch yourself out being harsh and critical. I still do. But regular practice in self-forgiveness, self-gratitude and a positive self-talk will make it quicker and easier over time to tap into your self-compassion. Eventually, you'll find that being kind to yourself becomes just a natural part of who you are. And as this kindness becomes a habit, you'll notice profound changes not only in how you treat yourself, but in how you interact with the world around you.

As I wrap up today's episode on the power of self-compassion, remember that this practice is about becoming a compassionate friend to yourself. It's about changing the conversations you have in your head and recognizing that you deserve your own kindness just as much as anyone else. Self-compassion is not an indulgence, it's about giving yourself the grace to grow and thrive.

I encourage you to start practicing self-compassion right away. What's one thing you could forgive yourself for today? What are those three things you are grateful for about yourself in this moment? What internal conversation are you having right now that you could reframe more positively?

These actions will help you build resilience and start leading a life marked by genuine self-acceptance and joy. A life where you wholeheartedly love the woman who greets you in the mirror each day, knowing that she's got your back and she's a hundred percent behind you. That, my friend, is a life that feels so good to wake up to.

Thanks so much for joining me today in this discussion. And if you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might benefit from it as well. Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast for more of my Self-Creation tips and insights for saying YES! to a life you love in every Wednesday. I'll see you next week.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, have you joined my FREE mini-workshop the Week of YES!? This powerful five-day workshop will help you take your foot off the brake and start saying YES! to more of the life you crave. Isn't it time you created a life you're beyond excited to wake up to? It all begins with saying YES!. Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/weekofyes and get started on your YES! story today. I'll see you there.