How to Say YES! to You and Your Dreams

How to Say YES! to You and Your Dreams

PODCAST  //  March 20, 2024

ON THE PODCAST

How to Say YES! to You & Your Dreams – The Self-Creation School Podcast

Hosted by Leanne Letica, this episode of The Self-Creation School podcast explores the less discussed topic of midlife reinvention in women, a phase in their lives where they seek more meaning, fulfillment, and personal identity. The episode highlights the prevalent issue of women habitually putting their needs, wants, and dreams aside to prioritize others and the deep-rooted tendency among women to say ‘no’ to themselves.

Leanne sheds light on the concept of ‘YES! Blocks’, which encapsulate the challenges women face when attempting to prioritize their own desires and dreams during this transitional midlife phase. These blocks include Permission, Possibility, Passion, Purpose, and Persona, each representing a unique set of obstacles that prevent women from fully embracing their true potential and desires.

By sharing insightful strategies and encouraging women to explore and overcome their YES! Blocks, the episode is designed to support women in navigating the empowering opportunity one’s midlife offers to a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Leanne’s approach combines personal anecdotes with professional insights, aiming to inspire listeners to break free from limitations and societal expectations, and to say YES! to a life filled with purpose, joy, and self-acceptance.

Episode Details:

00:00 The Midlife Phase in Women: A Personal Journey

01:39 A Common Struggle: Saying No to You and Your Dreams

04:13 Overcoming the Roadblocks to Saying YES!

08:34 Granting Permission: The First Step to Embracing Your Desires

15:01 Exploring the Possibilities: Dreaming Beyond Boundaries

19:20 Igniting Passion: Fueling the Journey to Your Dreams

23:58 Finding Purpose: Creating a Life of Meaning

27:54 Shaping Your Persona: The Key to Living Your Dream Life

31:34 Confronting the Storyteller: Rewriting Your Limiting Stories

34:24 Final Thoughts, Free Resources and Conclusion

Mentioned Resources:

Useful Resources:

Connect with Leanne:

Episode Downloads:

Download Transcript

Transcript

Most of us have heard stories of the male midlife crisis. In fact, most of us have probably joked about it at some point. It's almost a rite of passage for men, isn't it? When they've reached, let's say, their late 40s or early 50s, society almost expects, even permits, them to question their past, to make drastic changes in their life or chase after their long-suppressed dreams, no matter how wild and wonderful they may be.

But what about us? What about women? It's not all that common to hear about women experiencing this kind of phase in their life. And for me personally, for years, I just assumed this wasn't something that happened for women. That having a midlife meltdown and wanting to completely reinvent oneself, to find more meaning and personal fulfillment in life, was something that solely happened for men.

So, when I found myself in what could easily have been seen as a midlife crisis, I wasn't even able to recognize it as such, let alone normalize it, speak about it, or allow myself to embrace it and experience it. I thought this was just some strange thing that was happening to me and I was somehow not normal. So I kept my struggles, my feelings of wanting more – more meaning, more impact, more fulfillment, more well... me, whoever that actually was – to myself. And it wasn't until I started working with women who also want more in life that I realized just how common this is.

Since then, nearly every woman I've had a conversation with about finding yourself at this crossroad in your life will nod their head with an uh-huh, yep, and oh boy do I get it. And yet as women we all too often say no to this part of our life experience. We hide it, we push it aside, we bury it, we wrestle with it, we resist it, we feel guilty about it... until it becomes so loud, we simply cannot ignore it. Then, we find ourselves feeling like we truly are in crisis and that can be a lonely, confusing, and overwhelming place to find ourselves.

What I've discovered in my work with women over the years is that our tendency as women to say no to ourselves and our needs, wants and desires, in order to put the comfort and happiness of others first, is so ingrained in us that when we reach this point of questioning and longing in our lives, of knowing we're meant for more, we are met with a roadblock that makes it extremely difficult to turn our no's into a YES! and it stops us dead in our own tracks.

This roadblock shows up in our lives as guilt, as feeling confused, lost, or overwhelmed. It shows up as indecision, as procrastination, as feelings of not being good enough, worthy, or deserving. It is hidden in our story that it's too late to start again or try something new. That we shouldn't rock the boat. It's hidden in our self-doubt, self-judgment, self-criticism, and self-denial.

And until we learn as women to change our no's to a YES!, to say YES! to ourselves and our wants, needs and desires, we will miss the opportunity for experiencing the richly satisfying and deeply fulfilling life that a midlife reawakening, if you'd like to call it such, can so uniquely offer us.

So in today's episode, I'll be sharing with you the five most common YES! Blocks that I see we as women face, and how you can overcome them to finally say YES! to you and a life that's so good, your old self is already jealous.

If you are a woman who is ready to say that YES!, to shine as the star of your own show and make your next act your best one yet, then listen in my friend because this episode is for you.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hey there, my beautiful friend, what is happening in your corner of the world? In my corner of the world, I've been doing a whole lot of work with women who have decided it's time to say YES! to who they want to be and the life they want to live on their terms. And that's exactly what we talk about right here on The Self-Creation School podcast. How to say YES! and how to play life by your own personal rule book.

And so this week, I want to share with you five of the most common things I work through with women that hold them back from saying that YES!. It is an in-depth episode, so grab a tea or coffee along with your notebook and get ready to take some serious notes.

If you're listening into this podcast, or perhaps you've been following me on social media for a while, maybe you've connected with me via my weekly newsletter CREATED, there's a good chance you understand what it feels like to reach that point in your life where you know you're meant for more than what you're currently experiencing. And some of you know what that kind of more looks like, some of you are actively working on creating it, and some of you are still trying to figure it all out.

I really want you to know, you are not alone. Wanting more fulfillment, more purpose, more impact, more meaning, more us really, is something that so many of us eventually find ourselves seeking and find it incredibly difficult to say YES! to. And there are so many ways that we as women find ourselves at this point.

You might be stuck in a stable career that just doesn't excite you anymore. If you're really honest, maybe it never did but it was the stable, accepted choice. Perhaps the kids have grown up and gone to college, and now there's more space for you to be, well, you, whoever that looks like now. Maybe it's been so long, you don't really even know.

For some of you, you're dealing with the significant changes that divorce brings, or the loss of your life partner, maybe even retirement. And for most of us, as the years start to add up, we realize that our time on this earth is actually finite and we do start to question what our days really mean and how it is we truly want to spend our time.

Well, I'm here to tell you that your days can mean anything you want them to, and you can create a life experience that is richly rewarding in all the ways that actually matter to you, if you overcome your roadblocks to saying YES! to you and your unique wants, needs and desires. So, let's talk about what the five most common roadblocks are to saying YES! and how to shift these roadblocks once and for all.

And I want to start with the one I personally had so much trouble with – Permission.

Now, permission, living a life of should, and people pleasing, pretty much go hand-in-hand here. I think you probably know how this goes. I should want this, even though I really want that... I should do this, even though I really want to do that... I should stay in my nice stable job... I should keep everyone happy, even if it means I'm not... I should be a wife, mother, friend, daughter, before I should be me... I shouldn't put myself first... I shouldn't be who I want to be because I'll be judged, I might be rejected, people won't approve... I shouldn't take time out for me when others need me... I shouldn't want more... I shouldn't be unhappy... I shouldn't feel like I do... I shouldn't look like I do... I should be happy with what I've got in life... I shouldn't upset the apple cart.

Whew! So many shoulds, right? The Permission YES! Block is all about self-denial and not just questioning can you do, have or experience something, but it's more of a question of should you? It's needing the red stamp of approval from everyone else but the one person whose approval actually matters, and the only person that can actually give it to you with any kind of reliability – you.

Here's the deal. Giving yourself permission to say YES! to you and your wants, needs and desires, even before you take a single step towards them, is the foundation of living a life of YES!. And it relies on you acknowledging your inherent worthiness, that you are worthy and that you matter simply because you exist. And that your wants, needs and desires are worthy, and they matter simply because they exist.

So, how do you shift a Permission YES! Block?

Well, the first thing I encourage you to do is spend some time thinking about the areas in your life where you haven't been giving yourself permission. What is it you desire to do, have, and experience, but haven't? And no judgement, no questioning about whether or not something is possible. Simply just allow yourself to acknowledge your desires. Allow them to exist because the reality is, they do.

Then, as cliché as this may sound, write yourself a Permission Slip. The written word holds so much power, and so pull out a pen and paper and write yourself a note of permission, from you to you. One that gives yourself permission to want what it is you desire, to believe that it's possible, to act on it if you choose, and to be the woman who does, has, or experiences these things in her life.

You could write a general Permissions Slip for all of your desires, or you could even choose a specific desire that really speaks to you and write a Permissions Slip just for that. Here's some examples for you.

I give myself permission to want the things I desire to do, have, and experience in my life, simply because I want them. I give myself permission to believe they are possible for me, even if I don't yet know how. I give myself permission to act on them if I so choose, without needing anyone's approval or validation. And I give myself permission to be the woman who does, has, and experiences these things in my life.

Remember this is about your inherent worthiness to want what you want simply because your wants exist.

Here's a more specific example. Let's say you've always wanted to write a book. Your Permission Slip might sound like this.

I give myself permission to want to write a book and become a published author. I give myself permission to believe that I have valuable insights and experiences to share that others will find value in. I give myself permission to make I have time for writing in my daily schedule, even if it's just a few minutes a day. And I give myself permission to see myself as a writer and to be the author of a published book.

Once you've written your Permission Slip, read it every single day. Leave it somewhere you can see it often. You'll be surprised at how something so simple can actually be quite effective at opening the door to saying YES!. And it's largely, if you think back to your school days, thanks to our societal conditioning that a Permission Slip is an official granting of permission.

And listen, sometimes we make things much harder than they really need to be. We overlook the simplest and most effective thing that we can actually do, which in this case, is to simply give ourselves permission. If you need to, put it in a box and wrap it in a pretty ribbon. But at the end of the day, giving yourself permission is really just a decision to give it.

Now, will the storyteller in your head have some things to say? Probably yes. But we'll talk a little later about how to deal with your storyteller. For now, know that you CAN simply make a decision to write that Permission Slip and give yourself the permission to say YES!, I want what I want and what I want is worthy simply because I want it, simply because they are my wants, needs and desires and they matter because I matter.

Permission lays the groundwork for possibility. And being able to see the possibilities for ourselves, and believe that they are in fact possible, is the second YES! Block that commonly holds us back from saying YES! to a more richly fulfilling life.

Possibility is about seeing beyond the immediate, beyond what's realistic for you right now, and into a future where your biggest, boldest desires not only exist, but they are your reality. It's about shifting from a mindset of limitation to one of expansive potential. Yet for so many of us, this transition is where we fall flat. We give ourselves permission to dream but then we look at those dreams through the narrow lens of our current reality, rather than the wide-angle lens of what could be.

Here's the thing, your reality is a reflection of your beliefs. If you believe something is impossible, your reality will align to prove you right. But when you start to entertain the idea that perhaps, just perhaps, there's a chance for your dreams to materialize, your reality begins to shift.

So how do you shift a Possibility YES! Block?

Firstly, allow yourself to expand your vision, to daydream without boundaries. What would be possible in your lifetime if you knew everything was possible and you couldn't fail? Imagine your life if everything you've given yourself permission to desire came true. What does that life look like? What does it feel like? Journal about it, the more detail the better. This is not a time for just a few words or minimalism, my friend. Go all out here and vividly paint yourself a picture.

Visualizing, or daydreaming if you prefer, allows you to start trying on the possibilities and to see how they might look in your life, how they might make you feel. It expands your vision and your mindset, and it changes the frequency that you exist in, your energetic presence. Now that is important because it's the energetic frequency that you spend most of your time in that attracts the things you experience.

Once you've created a vision of all of the possibilities, the next thing to do is gather evidence for how the things you dream of are indeed possible. Start looking for examples of people who have achieved what you're dreaming of. These stories are your evidence that what you desire is not only possible but probable with the right actions and mindset.

And then lastly, once you can really vividly see the possibilities unfolding for you, you've found evidence to support that these possibilities are achievable, go to work on affirming your belief that what you want is possible for you too. Create affirmations that reinforce your belief in the possible. An example might be, “my dreams are possible, and I have the power to make them a reality”.

Shifting the Possibility YES! Block is as much about belief as it is about action. By expanding your vision, gathering evidence, and affirming your belief in the possible, you set the stage for incredible transformation. Possibility is the bridge between granting ourselves permission and taking passionate action towards our dreams. It's where the abstract becomes tangible, where “I wish” transforms into “I will”. As you start to see the world through the lens of possibility, your path forward becomes clearer. When you can see something is possible, feel that it is possible and believe that it's possible, you become more willing to say YES! to taking the steps needed to turn your dreams into your reality.

But here's where some of us come unstuck. We begin taking those steps and we start to face challenges. It might be hard to learn the skills we need to learn. We might find out the way we thought it could work Life inevitably starts to get in the way. The kids get sick, you get sick, and so on and so on. And what happens is, the fire in our belly gets dampened down, or snuffed out altogether, and we stop taking the action we need to take to make our dreams a reality.

And this is where YES! Block number three comes in - Passion.

To ensure that the fire for your dreams stays burning hot and bright enough so it doesn't wither away to nothing in the face of your everyday life, and in the face of the growth you will need to experience to have what it is you want, you must have passion for the things you dream of being possible for you. They must truly excite you, make you feel completely lit up, and fill your heart with joy at the deepest possible level.

Have you ever thought, that would be so nice, or so much fun to do or experience? So you sign up for the dance lessons, enrol to learn that second language, or join a cooking school, let's say, and the first week or maybe two are new and exciting. Then week 3 and 4 come along, and you start to feel pushed, a little challenged by the tasks at hand. Week 5 and 6 well, the kids are sick, and you had to work overtime so you were too tired to attend. Week 7 and 8, you're starting to make excuses why you can't do this or don't have time for it. By week 9 and 10, you're wondering if this is really for you anyway. And by week 11 and 12, you're out. You tell yourself it's not for you and you give it away.

You've experienced that at least once in your lifetime, right? And it's because you simply weren't passionate enough about what it is you thought would be nice to do, have or experience. And what I know is, if possibility is the roadmap, passion is what fuels your journey and keeps you powering forward no matter what hills, hurdles or detours you come across along the way.

So, while it's great to have a long list of possibilities, and while they may indeed all be possible, if you don't have enough passion for these possibilities, you'll find yourself trying a lot of things, giving up or worse still, telling yourself you failed, again, and reaffirming to yourself that the things you say you want really aren't possible for you. So you resign yourself to settling for what you know, a mediocre existence, and far less than you're really capable of.

So, it's important to shift the Passion YES! Block right out of the way.

And it will probably come as no surprise to you when I say this, but the way you do that is to choose possibilities you are passionate about. And how can you do that? Well, reflect on all of the possibilities you imagine for yourself and ask yourself these three questions: Which ones instantly light up your heart? Which ones stir an exciting energy within you when you think about them? And are there any common themes, patterns, or interests that you notice?

Then, choose the top five possibilities that really light you up, that make you feel alive when you think about them, that spark that fire within you, and rank them in order from the most passionate to the least. Look at each one and ask yourself, does your passion for this dream inspire you enough to overcome any of the challenges that may come your way? And describe why and why not.

This will help you identify the things you are most passionate about. And these are the possibilities you will be able to turn into realities so much more easily because you have the commitment and the drive that will be required of you to keep showing up to do so.

Now, the thing that takes this to another level is Purpose.

Purpose is what keeps your life meaning, what gives meaning to the things you spend your days doing. Meaning to why you show up each day for what you want, why you want to overcome the challenges that you face on your path to saying YES! to you and your dreams. Purpose is what will allow you to push through your discomfort, to do the hard things, to shine authentically, to be a magnet for the opportunities, the people, and the circumstances you need to realize your dreams, and to create the kind of impact in your world that is richly rewarding and deeply fulfilling.

So, passion will be the fuel that helps you last the distance, but purpose will help you stay on track. And purpose is YES! Block number four.

Purpose is about ensuring that the possibilities you are most passionate about are firmly grounded on a foundation of your core values and your why. How does this align with what's important to you at the core of who you really are? Why is this important to you? And why does all this matter? If you don't know this, if your actions are not supported by purpose, you run the risk of coming up against a Purpose Roadblock.

So here's how you can shift it if you do.

Firstly, reflect on what your core values are. What's deeply important to you? What do you stand for? What principles do you feel strongly about? What are the things that matter, that you truly value in life? Write them down and choose your top three to five values, the strongest ones that are simply non-negotiable for you.

Next, think about the impact you want to have in this world. What positive changes would you like to see or contribute to? What issues are you most passionate about? How would you like to be remembered? And then ask yourself, if I could only do one thing, share one message with the world, make one difference in the world, what is that one thing?

Lastly, why does all this matter? What difference will it make in your life? Here, I encourage you to dig deep on your whys, at least 5 to 7 layers deep. So when you ask yourself, why does all this matter, ask yourself why the answer you give matters, then why the answer to that matters. Until you reach the why, that hits a nerve so deep, you almost need to catch your breath. That is your why.

So then, finding your purpose is all about connecting the dots. What possibilities do you dream of that you feel wildly passionate about, that marry together with the one thing you simply must do if it is the only thing you get to do in your lifetime, because it matters to you very deeply.

My friend, magic happens right here. When you have the passion and the purpose to go after what's possible, and you give yourself permission to do just that, I promise you, the first thing you will say every morning when you open your eyes is, Yes! another day, let's so do this!

And this brings me to the final YES! Block that you might come across on your journey to saying YES! to you and a life you're obsessed with – your Persona.

Your persona is the character or role you play in your life story. It affects your behaviors, your attitudes, how you perceive the world around you, and how you show up in that world. Essentially, your persona is who you be, your identity.

Now there are two things that commonly happen here that will keep you stuck. The first is that you be who you think you should be. And the second is you believe that who you are, your identity, is fixed.

The reality is, you can choose to be whoever you want, and you CAN consciously shape your persona. It is in fact not fixed. If you are a mom for example, you haven't always played that role. It's a role, a persona or identity that you grew into when you became a mom. If you are an accountant, a lawyer, teacher, business owner, coach, you weren't always this person, you became this person.

As humans, we are meant to evolve and grow who we be. It's a natural part of our life's progression. And here's what I know. To have something different in your life experience will require that you be someone different. To expand the possibilities for yourself in your lifetime, you must expand who you be.

When it comes to saying YES! to what you want, your persona is the glue that holds everything else together. Permission is the green light, the go ahead. Possibility is the roadmap. Passion is what fuels your journey and keeps you moving forward. Purpose is what keeps you on track. And Persona is the you who sits in the driver's seat of your life with two hands planted firmly on the wheel. Your persona is what says YES! to steering you in the direction of your dreams.

So, how do you shift a Persona YES! Block?

Well, the first thing is, if you are caught up in being who you should be, then my friend, revisit the Permission YES! Block as it relates to your identity. Secondly, to evolve who you be, you first must know who you are becoming, and ground this in the version of you who is living the dream life you see for yourself, who has achieved the things you want to achieve. When you know, deeply know, who this version of you is, you can start to embrace this version of you bit by bit, day by day, thought by thought, habit by habit, and action by action.

And here's how all this fits together and why saying YES! in all of the areas I've discussed here today is so important. To know who you are becoming you must be able to see the possibilities of who you could be, believe it's possible to be this version of you, align this version of you with your passions and purpose, and give yourself permission to go ahead and become this evolved version of you.

Permission, Possibility, Passion, Purpose, and Persona are the foundation to a life of YES!.

Now, before I close out this episode, I mentioned earlier that we would talk about the storyteller who will show up, often uninvited, on this journey. And who will try to convince you to hand over the wheel.

Your storyteller is that voice in your head that tells you why all the things you want are not possible. Why you're not good enough, deserving enough, why you'll fail, why you shouldn't do the things you want to do, why you shouldn't want the things you want to do, how people will reject you, judge you, laugh at you. Your storyteller is like your internal gatekeeper who scans the road ahead for danger. And your storyteller sees danger based on your past experiences and events that have been highly negatively emotionally charged. It wants to keep you safe, so you never experience these things again, and you never feel that way again.

Here's the problem. These stories don't always serve you, and they often keep you stuck. There is never just one story that you can tell about an event that happens in your life. And most of these stories that your storyteller is holding on to are stories that you told about the things that happened to you as a child. Now as a child, you don't have the same processing skills you now have as an adult. So what this means is, when you listen to your storyteller, when you hand over the wheel, you're actually allowing your child brain to steer the course of your life. Let me ask you, how do you think that is going to turn out?

Now, your storyteller will always be there, so the secret here is to give your storyteller new stories to tell you. Stories that serve you and support you in saying YES! to you and the life you want.

The process for shifting your stories is too long for our conversation today, we have already covered such a lot of ground here. However, I created a unique tool for you that will help you uncover your most predominant YES! Block and show you how you can start shifting the limiting stories behind it to ones that make you limitless using my Self-Creation Shift process. To discover your YES! Block and grab your free copy of this workbook, head to selfcreationschool.com/yesstory and take my free quiz. It's a 10-question quiz, it's quick and easy, and I'll send you a copy of the workbook at the end.

So, I know this has been a deep episode and I've shared with you a lot of content. My hope is that you can start to see how these different aspects all fit together to help you say YES!. You may want to review this episode again and take your time to work through each layer of YES! at your own pace. There is no hurry here, my friend. What's important is that you stay on this journey to YES!. You might also like to join my free workshop, the Week of YES!, which will take you through this process at an even deeper level. I'll leave the link for that in the show notes for you, along with a link to the quiz.

Next week, I'll be building on this episode and sharing the one thing that will fast track your YES! like no other. So stay tuned for that and as always, thanks so much for joining me in today's episode.

Until next week, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, have you joined my FREE mini-workshop the Week of YES!? This powerful five-day workshop will help you take your foot off the brake and start saying YES! to more of the life you crave. Isn't it time you created a life you're beyond excited to wake up to? It all begins with saying YES!. Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/weekofyes and get started on your YES! story today. I'll see you there.

Hosted by Leanne Letica, this episode of The Self-Creation School podcast explores the less discussed topic of midlife reinvention in women, a phase in their lives where they seek more meaning, fulfillment, and personal identity. The episode highlights the prevalent issue of women habitually putting their needs, wants, and dreams aside to prioritize others and the deep-rooted tendency among women to say ‘no’ to themselves.

Leanne sheds light on the concept of ‘YES! Blocks’, which encapsulate the challenges women face when attempting to prioritize their own desires and dreams during this transitional midlife phase. These blocks include Permission, Possibility, Passion, Purpose, and Persona, each representing a unique set of obstacles that prevent women from fully embracing their true potential and desires.

By sharing insightful strategies and encouraging women to explore and overcome their YES! Blocks, the episode is designed to support women in navigating the empowering opportunity one’s midlife offers to a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Leanne’s approach combines personal anecdotes with professional insights, aiming to inspire listeners to break free from limitations and societal expectations, and to say YES! to a life filled with purpose, joy, and self-acceptance.

Episode Details:

00:00 The Midlife Phase in Women: A Personal Journey

01:39 A Common Struggle: Saying No to You and Your Dreams

04:13 Overcoming the Roadblocks to Saying YES!

08:34 Granting Permission: The First Step to Embracing Your Desires

15:01 Exploring the Possibilities: Dreaming Beyond Boundaries

19:20 Igniting Passion: Fueling the Journey to Your Dreams

23:58 Finding Purpose: Creating a Life of Meaning

27:54 Shaping Your Persona: The Key to Living Your Dream Life

31:34 Confronting the Storyteller: Rewriting Your Limiting Stories

34:24 Final Thoughts, Free Resources and Conclusion

Mentioned Resources:

Useful Resources:

Connect with Leanne:

Episode Downloads:

Download Transcript

Transcript

Most of us have heard stories of the male midlife crisis. In fact, most of us have probably joked about it at some point. It's almost a rite of passage for men, isn't it? When they've reached, let's say, their late 40s or early 50s, society almost expects, even permits, them to question their past, to make drastic changes in their life or chase after their long-suppressed dreams, no matter how wild and wonderful they may be.

But what about us? What about women? It's not all that common to hear about women experiencing this kind of phase in their life. And for me personally, for years, I just assumed this wasn't something that happened for women. That having a midlife meltdown and wanting to completely reinvent oneself, to find more meaning and personal fulfillment in life, was something that solely happened for men.

So, when I found myself in what could easily have been seen as a midlife crisis, I wasn't even able to recognize it as such, let alone normalize it, speak about it, or allow myself to embrace it and experience it. I thought this was just some strange thing that was happening to me and I was somehow not normal. So I kept my struggles, my feelings of wanting more – more meaning, more impact, more fulfillment, more well... me, whoever that actually was – to myself. And it wasn't until I started working with women who also want more in life that I realized just how common this is.

Since then, nearly every woman I've had a conversation with about finding yourself at this crossroad in your life will nod their head with an uh-huh, yep, and oh boy do I get it. And yet as women we all too often say no to this part of our life experience. We hide it, we push it aside, we bury it, we wrestle with it, we resist it, we feel guilty about it... until it becomes so loud, we simply cannot ignore it. Then, we find ourselves feeling like we truly are in crisis and that can be a lonely, confusing, and overwhelming place to find ourselves.

What I've discovered in my work with women over the years is that our tendency as women to say no to ourselves and our needs, wants and desires, in order to put the comfort and happiness of others first, is so ingrained in us that when we reach this point of questioning and longing in our lives, of knowing we're meant for more, we are met with a roadblock that makes it extremely difficult to turn our no's into a YES! and it stops us dead in our own tracks.

This roadblock shows up in our lives as guilt, as feeling confused, lost, or overwhelmed. It shows up as indecision, as procrastination, as feelings of not being good enough, worthy, or deserving. It is hidden in our story that it's too late to start again or try something new. That we shouldn't rock the boat. It's hidden in our self-doubt, self-judgment, self-criticism, and self-denial.

And until we learn as women to change our no's to a YES!, to say YES! to ourselves and our wants, needs and desires, we will miss the opportunity for experiencing the richly satisfying and deeply fulfilling life that a midlife reawakening, if you'd like to call it such, can so uniquely offer us.

So in today's episode, I'll be sharing with you the five most common YES! Blocks that I see we as women face, and how you can overcome them to finally say YES! to you and a life that's so good, your old self is already jealous.

If you are a woman who is ready to say that YES!, to shine as the star of your own show and make your next act your best one yet, then listen in my friend because this episode is for you.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hey there, my beautiful friend, what is happening in your corner of the world? In my corner of the world, I've been doing a whole lot of work with women who have decided it's time to say YES! to who they want to be and the life they want to live on their terms. And that's exactly what we talk about right here on The Self-Creation School podcast. How to say YES! and how to play life by your own personal rule book.

And so this week, I want to share with you five of the most common things I work through with women that hold them back from saying that YES!. It is an in-depth episode, so grab a tea or coffee along with your notebook and get ready to take some serious notes.

If you're listening into this podcast, or perhaps you've been following me on social media for a while, maybe you've connected with me via my weekly newsletter CREATED, there's a good chance you understand what it feels like to reach that point in your life where you know you're meant for more than what you're currently experiencing. And some of you know what that kind of more looks like, some of you are actively working on creating it, and some of you are still trying to figure it all out.

I really want you to know, you are not alone. Wanting more fulfillment, more purpose, more impact, more meaning, more us really, is something that so many of us eventually find ourselves seeking and find it incredibly difficult to say YES! to. And there are so many ways that we as women find ourselves at this point.

You might be stuck in a stable career that just doesn't excite you anymore. If you're really honest, maybe it never did but it was the stable, accepted choice. Perhaps the kids have grown up and gone to college, and now there's more space for you to be, well, you, whoever that looks like now. Maybe it's been so long, you don't really even know.

For some of you, you're dealing with the significant changes that divorce brings, or the loss of your life partner, maybe even retirement. And for most of us, as the years start to add up, we realize that our time on this earth is actually finite and we do start to question what our days really mean and how it is we truly want to spend our time.

Well, I'm here to tell you that your days can mean anything you want them to, and you can create a life experience that is richly rewarding in all the ways that actually matter to you, if you overcome your roadblocks to saying YES! to you and your unique wants, needs and desires. So, let's talk about what the five most common roadblocks are to saying YES! and how to shift these roadblocks once and for all.

And I want to start with the one I personally had so much trouble with – Permission.

Now, permission, living a life of should, and people pleasing, pretty much go hand-in-hand here. I think you probably know how this goes. I should want this, even though I really want that... I should do this, even though I really want to do that... I should stay in my nice stable job... I should keep everyone happy, even if it means I'm not... I should be a wife, mother, friend, daughter, before I should be me... I shouldn't put myself first... I shouldn't be who I want to be because I'll be judged, I might be rejected, people won't approve... I shouldn't take time out for me when others need me... I shouldn't want more... I shouldn't be unhappy... I shouldn't feel like I do... I shouldn't look like I do... I should be happy with what I've got in life... I shouldn't upset the apple cart.

Whew! So many shoulds, right? The Permission YES! Block is all about self-denial and not just questioning can you do, have or experience something, but it's more of a question of should you? It's needing the red stamp of approval from everyone else but the one person whose approval actually matters, and the only person that can actually give it to you with any kind of reliability – you.

Here's the deal. Giving yourself permission to say YES! to you and your wants, needs and desires, even before you take a single step towards them, is the foundation of living a life of YES!. And it relies on you acknowledging your inherent worthiness, that you are worthy and that you matter simply because you exist. And that your wants, needs and desires are worthy, and they matter simply because they exist.

So, how do you shift a Permission YES! Block?

Well, the first thing I encourage you to do is spend some time thinking about the areas in your life where you haven't been giving yourself permission. What is it you desire to do, have, and experience, but haven't? And no judgement, no questioning about whether or not something is possible. Simply just allow yourself to acknowledge your desires. Allow them to exist because the reality is, they do.

Then, as cliché as this may sound, write yourself a Permission Slip. The written word holds so much power, and so pull out a pen and paper and write yourself a note of permission, from you to you. One that gives yourself permission to want what it is you desire, to believe that it's possible, to act on it if you choose, and to be the woman who does, has, or experiences these things in her life.

You could write a general Permissions Slip for all of your desires, or you could even choose a specific desire that really speaks to you and write a Permissions Slip just for that. Here's some examples for you.

I give myself permission to want the things I desire to do, have, and experience in my life, simply because I want them. I give myself permission to believe they are possible for me, even if I don't yet know how. I give myself permission to act on them if I so choose, without needing anyone's approval or validation. And I give myself permission to be the woman who does, has, and experiences these things in my life.

Remember this is about your inherent worthiness to want what you want simply because your wants exist.

Here's a more specific example. Let's say you've always wanted to write a book. Your Permission Slip might sound like this.

I give myself permission to want to write a book and become a published author. I give myself permission to believe that I have valuable insights and experiences to share that others will find value in. I give myself permission to make I have time for writing in my daily schedule, even if it's just a few minutes a day. And I give myself permission to see myself as a writer and to be the author of a published book.

Once you've written your Permission Slip, read it every single day. Leave it somewhere you can see it often. You'll be surprised at how something so simple can actually be quite effective at opening the door to saying YES!. And it's largely, if you think back to your school days, thanks to our societal conditioning that a Permission Slip is an official granting of permission.

And listen, sometimes we make things much harder than they really need to be. We overlook the simplest and most effective thing that we can actually do, which in this case, is to simply give ourselves permission. If you need to, put it in a box and wrap it in a pretty ribbon. But at the end of the day, giving yourself permission is really just a decision to give it.

Now, will the storyteller in your head have some things to say? Probably yes. But we'll talk a little later about how to deal with your storyteller. For now, know that you CAN simply make a decision to write that Permission Slip and give yourself the permission to say YES!, I want what I want and what I want is worthy simply because I want it, simply because they are my wants, needs and desires and they matter because I matter.

Permission lays the groundwork for possibility. And being able to see the possibilities for ourselves, and believe that they are in fact possible, is the second YES! Block that commonly holds us back from saying YES! to a more richly fulfilling life.

Possibility is about seeing beyond the immediate, beyond what's realistic for you right now, and into a future where your biggest, boldest desires not only exist, but they are your reality. It's about shifting from a mindset of limitation to one of expansive potential. Yet for so many of us, this transition is where we fall flat. We give ourselves permission to dream but then we look at those dreams through the narrow lens of our current reality, rather than the wide-angle lens of what could be.

Here's the thing, your reality is a reflection of your beliefs. If you believe something is impossible, your reality will align to prove you right. But when you start to entertain the idea that perhaps, just perhaps, there's a chance for your dreams to materialize, your reality begins to shift.

So how do you shift a Possibility YES! Block?

Firstly, allow yourself to expand your vision, to daydream without boundaries. What would be possible in your lifetime if you knew everything was possible and you couldn't fail? Imagine your life if everything you've given yourself permission to desire came true. What does that life look like? What does it feel like? Journal about it, the more detail the better. This is not a time for just a few words or minimalism, my friend. Go all out here and vividly paint yourself a picture.

Visualizing, or daydreaming if you prefer, allows you to start trying on the possibilities and to see how they might look in your life, how they might make you feel. It expands your vision and your mindset, and it changes the frequency that you exist in, your energetic presence. Now that is important because it's the energetic frequency that you spend most of your time in that attracts the things you experience.

Once you've created a vision of all of the possibilities, the next thing to do is gather evidence for how the things you dream of are indeed possible. Start looking for examples of people who have achieved what you're dreaming of. These stories are your evidence that what you desire is not only possible but probable with the right actions and mindset.

And then lastly, once you can really vividly see the possibilities unfolding for you, you've found evidence to support that these possibilities are achievable, go to work on affirming your belief that what you want is possible for you too. Create affirmations that reinforce your belief in the possible. An example might be, “my dreams are possible, and I have the power to make them a reality”.

Shifting the Possibility YES! Block is as much about belief as it is about action. By expanding your vision, gathering evidence, and affirming your belief in the possible, you set the stage for incredible transformation. Possibility is the bridge between granting ourselves permission and taking passionate action towards our dreams. It's where the abstract becomes tangible, where “I wish” transforms into “I will”. As you start to see the world through the lens of possibility, your path forward becomes clearer. When you can see something is possible, feel that it is possible and believe that it's possible, you become more willing to say YES! to taking the steps needed to turn your dreams into your reality.

But here's where some of us come unstuck. We begin taking those steps and we start to face challenges. It might be hard to learn the skills we need to learn. We might find out the way we thought it could work Life inevitably starts to get in the way. The kids get sick, you get sick, and so on and so on. And what happens is, the fire in our belly gets dampened down, or snuffed out altogether, and we stop taking the action we need to take to make our dreams a reality.

And this is where YES! Block number three comes in - Passion.

To ensure that the fire for your dreams stays burning hot and bright enough so it doesn't wither away to nothing in the face of your everyday life, and in the face of the growth you will need to experience to have what it is you want, you must have passion for the things you dream of being possible for you. They must truly excite you, make you feel completely lit up, and fill your heart with joy at the deepest possible level.

Have you ever thought, that would be so nice, or so much fun to do or experience? So you sign up for the dance lessons, enrol to learn that second language, or join a cooking school, let's say, and the first week or maybe two are new and exciting. Then week 3 and 4 come along, and you start to feel pushed, a little challenged by the tasks at hand. Week 5 and 6 well, the kids are sick, and you had to work overtime so you were too tired to attend. Week 7 and 8, you're starting to make excuses why you can't do this or don't have time for it. By week 9 and 10, you're wondering if this is really for you anyway. And by week 11 and 12, you're out. You tell yourself it's not for you and you give it away.

You've experienced that at least once in your lifetime, right? And it's because you simply weren't passionate enough about what it is you thought would be nice to do, have or experience. And what I know is, if possibility is the roadmap, passion is what fuels your journey and keeps you powering forward no matter what hills, hurdles or detours you come across along the way.

So, while it's great to have a long list of possibilities, and while they may indeed all be possible, if you don't have enough passion for these possibilities, you'll find yourself trying a lot of things, giving up or worse still, telling yourself you failed, again, and reaffirming to yourself that the things you say you want really aren't possible for you. So you resign yourself to settling for what you know, a mediocre existence, and far less than you're really capable of.

So, it's important to shift the Passion YES! Block right out of the way.

And it will probably come as no surprise to you when I say this, but the way you do that is to choose possibilities you are passionate about. And how can you do that? Well, reflect on all of the possibilities you imagine for yourself and ask yourself these three questions: Which ones instantly light up your heart? Which ones stir an exciting energy within you when you think about them? And are there any common themes, patterns, or interests that you notice?

Then, choose the top five possibilities that really light you up, that make you feel alive when you think about them, that spark that fire within you, and rank them in order from the most passionate to the least. Look at each one and ask yourself, does your passion for this dream inspire you enough to overcome any of the challenges that may come your way? And describe why and why not.

This will help you identify the things you are most passionate about. And these are the possibilities you will be able to turn into realities so much more easily because you have the commitment and the drive that will be required of you to keep showing up to do so.

Now, the thing that takes this to another level is Purpose.

Purpose is what keeps your life meaning, what gives meaning to the things you spend your days doing. Meaning to why you show up each day for what you want, why you want to overcome the challenges that you face on your path to saying YES! to you and your dreams. Purpose is what will allow you to push through your discomfort, to do the hard things, to shine authentically, to be a magnet for the opportunities, the people, and the circumstances you need to realize your dreams, and to create the kind of impact in your world that is richly rewarding and deeply fulfilling.

So, passion will be the fuel that helps you last the distance, but purpose will help you stay on track. And purpose is YES! Block number four.

Purpose is about ensuring that the possibilities you are most passionate about are firmly grounded on a foundation of your core values and your why. How does this align with what's important to you at the core of who you really are? Why is this important to you? And why does all this matter? If you don't know this, if your actions are not supported by purpose, you run the risk of coming up against a Purpose Roadblock.

So here's how you can shift it if you do.

Firstly, reflect on what your core values are. What's deeply important to you? What do you stand for? What principles do you feel strongly about? What are the things that matter, that you truly value in life? Write them down and choose your top three to five values, the strongest ones that are simply non-negotiable for you.

Next, think about the impact you want to have in this world. What positive changes would you like to see or contribute to? What issues are you most passionate about? How would you like to be remembered? And then ask yourself, if I could only do one thing, share one message with the world, make one difference in the world, what is that one thing?

Lastly, why does all this matter? What difference will it make in your life? Here, I encourage you to dig deep on your whys, at least 5 to 7 layers deep. So when you ask yourself, why does all this matter, ask yourself why the answer you give matters, then why the answer to that matters. Until you reach the why, that hits a nerve so deep, you almost need to catch your breath. That is your why.

So then, finding your purpose is all about connecting the dots. What possibilities do you dream of that you feel wildly passionate about, that marry together with the one thing you simply must do if it is the only thing you get to do in your lifetime, because it matters to you very deeply.

My friend, magic happens right here. When you have the passion and the purpose to go after what's possible, and you give yourself permission to do just that, I promise you, the first thing you will say every morning when you open your eyes is, Yes! another day, let's so do this!

And this brings me to the final YES! Block that you might come across on your journey to saying YES! to you and a life you're obsessed with – your Persona.

Your persona is the character or role you play in your life story. It affects your behaviors, your attitudes, how you perceive the world around you, and how you show up in that world. Essentially, your persona is who you be, your identity.

Now there are two things that commonly happen here that will keep you stuck. The first is that you be who you think you should be. And the second is you believe that who you are, your identity, is fixed.

The reality is, you can choose to be whoever you want, and you CAN consciously shape your persona. It is in fact not fixed. If you are a mom for example, you haven't always played that role. It's a role, a persona or identity that you grew into when you became a mom. If you are an accountant, a lawyer, teacher, business owner, coach, you weren't always this person, you became this person.

As humans, we are meant to evolve and grow who we be. It's a natural part of our life's progression. And here's what I know. To have something different in your life experience will require that you be someone different. To expand the possibilities for yourself in your lifetime, you must expand who you be.

When it comes to saying YES! to what you want, your persona is the glue that holds everything else together. Permission is the green light, the go ahead. Possibility is the roadmap. Passion is what fuels your journey and keeps you moving forward. Purpose is what keeps you on track. And Persona is the you who sits in the driver's seat of your life with two hands planted firmly on the wheel. Your persona is what says YES! to steering you in the direction of your dreams.

So, how do you shift a Persona YES! Block?

Well, the first thing is, if you are caught up in being who you should be, then my friend, revisit the Permission YES! Block as it relates to your identity. Secondly, to evolve who you be, you first must know who you are becoming, and ground this in the version of you who is living the dream life you see for yourself, who has achieved the things you want to achieve. When you know, deeply know, who this version of you is, you can start to embrace this version of you bit by bit, day by day, thought by thought, habit by habit, and action by action.

And here's how all this fits together and why saying YES! in all of the areas I've discussed here today is so important. To know who you are becoming you must be able to see the possibilities of who you could be, believe it's possible to be this version of you, align this version of you with your passions and purpose, and give yourself permission to go ahead and become this evolved version of you.

Permission, Possibility, Passion, Purpose, and Persona are the foundation to a life of YES!.

Now, before I close out this episode, I mentioned earlier that we would talk about the storyteller who will show up, often uninvited, on this journey. And who will try to convince you to hand over the wheel.

Your storyteller is that voice in your head that tells you why all the things you want are not possible. Why you're not good enough, deserving enough, why you'll fail, why you shouldn't do the things you want to do, why you shouldn't want the things you want to do, how people will reject you, judge you, laugh at you. Your storyteller is like your internal gatekeeper who scans the road ahead for danger. And your storyteller sees danger based on your past experiences and events that have been highly negatively emotionally charged. It wants to keep you safe, so you never experience these things again, and you never feel that way again.

Here's the problem. These stories don't always serve you, and they often keep you stuck. There is never just one story that you can tell about an event that happens in your life. And most of these stories that your storyteller is holding on to are stories that you told about the things that happened to you as a child. Now as a child, you don't have the same processing skills you now have as an adult. So what this means is, when you listen to your storyteller, when you hand over the wheel, you're actually allowing your child brain to steer the course of your life. Let me ask you, how do you think that is going to turn out?

Now, your storyteller will always be there, so the secret here is to give your storyteller new stories to tell you. Stories that serve you and support you in saying YES! to you and the life you want.

The process for shifting your stories is too long for our conversation today, we have already covered such a lot of ground here. However, I created a unique tool for you that will help you uncover your most predominant YES! Block and show you how you can start shifting the limiting stories behind it to ones that make you limitless using my Self-Creation Shift process. To discover your YES! Block and grab your free copy of this workbook, head to selfcreationschool.com/yesstory and take my free quiz. It's a 10-question quiz, it's quick and easy, and I'll send you a copy of the workbook at the end.

So, I know this has been a deep episode and I've shared with you a lot of content. My hope is that you can start to see how these different aspects all fit together to help you say YES!. You may want to review this episode again and take your time to work through each layer of YES! at your own pace. There is no hurry here, my friend. What's important is that you stay on this journey to YES!. You might also like to join my free workshop, the Week of YES!, which will take you through this process at an even deeper level. I'll leave the link for that in the show notes for you, along with a link to the quiz.

Next week, I'll be building on this episode and sharing the one thing that will fast track your YES! like no other. So stay tuned for that and as always, thanks so much for joining me in today's episode.

Until next week, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, have you joined my FREE mini-workshop the Week of YES!? This powerful five-day workshop will help you take your foot off the brake and start saying YES! to more of the life you crave. Isn't it time you created a life you're beyond excited to wake up to? It all begins with saying YES!. Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/weekofyes and get started on your YES! story today. I'll see you there.

BY LEANNE LETICA

BY LEANNE LETICA

EPISODE release date  //  March 20, 2024

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Join me every Wednesday for
powerful conversations, practical strategies, and inspiring stories, as I share my insights
on how to step up and get more of what
you want, and finally SAY YES! to a life
that sets your soul on fire.

Subscribe to make sure you never miss
an episode when it hits the airways!


HI THERE, I'M LEANNE

QUEEN OF YES!

I know what it's like to feel unfulfilled and want more in life but be stuck... unable to get out of your own way and challenge the status quo because of who you believe you need to be.

For me, everything changed when I shifted my story and SAID YES! unapologetically to myself and my dreams.

Today I live a life that sets my soul on fire and help women all across the globe do exactly the same.

You can create a bigger, bolder and wildly fulfilling life you're excited to wake up to.

I will show you how.

READ MY STORY

Everything changed WHEN
I SHIFTED MY STORY and SAID
YES! unapologetically to MYSELF
and MY DREAMS.

Everything changed 
WHEN I SHIFTED MY STORY and SAID YES! unapologetically to MYSELF and MY DREAMS.

Why not be the woman WHO SAYS YES! too?

DISCOVER WHAT'S STOPPING YOU

A FREE MINI-WORKSHOP

WEEK OF YES!

Want to create a life you're beyond excited to wake up to? It all begins with saying YES!

You only have this one precious life, it’s time to take your foot off the brake and SAY YES! TO YOU and more of the life you crave.

More success, more money, more confidence, more health, more freedom, more joy, more love… 

Week of YES! will help you set the scene for more of whatever it is you truly want.

© THE SELF-CREATION SCHOOL 2024 — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED  |  TERMS & DISCLAIMER  |  PRIVACY POLICY

© THE SELF-CREATION SCHOOL 2024
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

TERMS & DISCLAIMER  |  PRIVACY POLICY