Every month this year, I've had a monthly theme that I have been personally working through to keep me on track to embodying my word of the year. Last month was all about finding more balance in my life for all the things that matter most.

I've got to be honest, I tend to fall out of balance in my life quite easily because I am very much an all-or-nothing kind of girl. So, when I have my sights set on achieving something, I will go after it with a relentless energy and that usually means other areas of my life get sidetracked.

I am also a details-oriented person, so I will plan out my goals in a very comprehensive, strategic and linear way. Now, that in and of itself is not a bad thing, but what I know is that this overall approach to my goals is grounded in a very masculine way of being. And spending too much time in a masculine energy is not only exhausting, but it is what creates imbalance in my life and a feeling of being disconnected from myself and from all the things that matter, not just my goals.

It's something I'm very aware of that I fall into and I'm always working towards improving this default way of being in my life. Because the thing I've learned over the years is that aside from becoming drained and disconnected, being almost solely in a masculine goal driven energy state actually makes it slower and harder to achieve what it is I am so focused on achieving.

And the most effective way to achieve your biggest, boldest goals isn't actually found in doubling down on effort and working harder but in tapping into an entirely different kind of energy. One that is very powerful, despite how it is perceived, and in today's society one that we as women often push aside.

Of course, I'm talking about your feminine energy. And today I want to share with you how leaning into a more intuitive, softer and receptive side of yourself can be the real key to progress that feels aligned, brings more ease and flows naturally. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a conversation about doing less, but about moving forward in a way that makes you feel whole, it makes you feel powerful and truly in sync with everything that matters uniquely to you.

Join me and let's look at how feminine energy can help you say YES! to a life you love waking up to.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

A very warm welcome to you this week from the hustle and bustle of Bangkok, which is the next stop on our two-month slow travel work-play adventure in Thailand. Being here after three weeks in the quiet of our beachside Koh Samui resort is definitely quite the contrast. And the change of energy has given me extra inspiration for today's conversation because it really highlights to me how energy we spend time in can really change the reality we experience.

As I said a moment ago, last month for me was all about finding more balance in my life for the things that matter, not just my big goals. And travel for me is something that really does feed my soul. I love exploring new places and being immersed in different cultures. I love experiencing new things. But I have always approached travel as a singular focused activity, just like I tend to approach my other ambitions in life. You see a pattern here, right?

Now, I moved from Australia to Europe in 2022 to spend a whole lot more time traveling in this part of the world. And my husband and I have indeed spent a whole lot of the last two and a half years doing exactly that. The problem for me, however, is that with my all-or-nothing kind of personality, normally when we travel, I have every minute planned. Well, not quite. But we jam pack in a lot and we see a lot of places. It leaves no time for work and so generally in the lead up to a trip, I have worked pretty crazy hours to ensure that I get all of the things done ahead of time in my business before we leave.

Needless to say, I am usually exhausted when we set out and even more so when we get back because of this all-or-nothing approach, which as I mentioned, is a very masculine energy to be in. And it is and has been a very unbalanced approach to honoring my two big loves, coaching and adventure.

So, at the beginning of this year, my husband and I asked ourselves how we could do this differently. How we could find a way to balance travel and work in a more enjoyable and less exhausting way, which is why we are right now on a two-month slow travel experiment. And interestingly enough, this happened to coincide with my monthly focus on finding more balance in my life.

Now, the idea behind slow travel for us is to spend more time in one place to allow time for me to balance work with sightseeing and relaxation. It's to create a more open-ended way of traveling and working. It's spending more time in one place with less emphasis on needing to see and do all the things, which creates space for both work and play to coexist. Importantly, it creates a whole lot more flow and ease in our days, which is so much more enjoyable and far less exhausting. It is very much a more feminine energy approach to both work and travel.

Which I find interesting because so many of us, not just me, tend to believe that going after our goals is an all-or-nothing approach. We get into this go, go, go kind of masculine energy and we buckle down and work as hard as we can so we can make progress as fast as we can. And yet, often working harder has the opposite effect of actually slowing us down. And our go, go, go energy, our want to make things happen, to force progress and success, actually creates an energetic resistance to progress and success.

In a similar way, many of us believe that when we travel, it's vacation time. It's not time for work and we must switch off and tune out. This singular focused approach equally doesn't always serve us. It can, like for me, actually create much more chaos and less progress overall in your life. And what is meant to be enjoyable simply becomes a blur of exhaustion.

But as I've already seen over this past month, if you are willing to challenge your norms of how life needs to look, of how achieving success looks, of how things like work and play look, and tap into a softer, more free flowing approach, you can actually make progress so much more powerfully towards your goals and have space for all the other things that matter in your world.

So, let's talk about your masculine and feminine energy and how to tap into your softer side to help you say YES! more easily to a life that's not just filled with your heart's desires, but feels fulfilled by them.

First and foremost, I just want to clarify that when I talk about masculine and feminine energy, I'm not talking about gender. I know, it's kind of confusing, but stick with me. What I'm referring to are qualities that everyone has within them, traits that society has categorized as masculine or feminine based on their characteristics. And our energy can be more masculine or more feminine depending on how much we operate from these different traits, these different ways of being. Now, the more these two energies are in balance, the better you can function and the more in balance you will feel.

So, let me give you the rundown on each energy and let's start with masculine energy.

Masculine energy is what's often described as a Yang energy, and it is a very strong, outward and driven energy. The society we live in is actually mostly Yang oriented, and historically we have always lived in a very masculine, energetic world. Masculine energy is the energy that pushes us forward. It compels us to set goals, make plans, and measure success in outwardly tangible outcomes and achievements. It seeks material possessions as a marker of success, and it is focused on the physical world and appearances.

At its core, masculine energy is about taking action towards an end goal. When you create that to-do list or plan your trip, you are operating from masculine energy. It drives on progress, performance, and also being competitive. It's marked by a constant motion to achieve, achieve more, and achieve even more. The masculine energy likes to be in control and when you operate from your masculine energy, you will do things individually. You'll do them independently and in a way that is closed off from other people.

And masculine energy operates in the left side of our brain, so it is highly logical and makes decisions based on an organized set of information and facts. So, it is the rational side of us that is very much rooted in the doing and achieving mindset. When masculine energy tips out of balance, it can show up as a need for power, a need for dominance, and an approach that feels really quite hard and disconnected.

Now, masculine energy does have its place and there is definitely a need for masculine energy. But it has to be with balance because when we have too much masculine energy in society in general, this is what leads to things like war and destruction, a lack of compassion and things like inequality.

And my friend, those same kind of things also show up in your inner world. You can start to feel at war with yourself, at war with others and with the world itself. You might self-sabotage your success, likely you have little self-compassion, and the balance between taking care of you and your dreams and taking care of your shoulds and everyone else in the world is also likely going to be out of balance.

So whilst you need masculine energy to help you get things done, too much of it, like anything, is not necessarily a good thing. And unfortunately for women, we tend to overcompensate in masculine energy in order to forge our way in this very masculine energetically led world. In order to have that career, that independence and that ability to stand up for what we want. So we end up wanting to perform too much, to take the lead too much, to be too decisive, too driven, too independent. And this comes at a cost of our feminine energy.

Having too much masculine energy also means that you may find it harder to hand things over to others, to let go of control, to show your vulnerability or to receive. And that can have a very negative impact on your relationships, your work, and your friendships. Because when you are energetically out of balance, you are standing less in your own power and that very often means you are relying on others to fulfill your needs.

You can probably already start to see how having too much masculine energy can affect your ability to take control of your life story and actually go about creating the results you desire.

Feminine energy, on the other hand, is a Yin energy. It is soft, gentle, sensitive, reflective, intelligent, creative, compassionate. It is nurturing, cooperative, communicative. It's resourceful. It is a very inward energy, and it is very much an emotional energy.

Now, the feminine energy operates in the right side of our brain, and it's also action-oriented, but to the experience of joy, rather than the outcome. It makes decisions based on intuition. It is an energy that has vulnerability, but also emotional strength. And it is more concerned with sacrificing for the greater good than having independence. It defines success by relationships, and it is an energy that is extroverted, open, and receiving.

The feminine energy wants to be rather than do, and it is focused on the emotional world and the inner being. When your feminine energy is out of balance, it can express itself as uncertainty, indecisiveness, in a lack of confidence, as fear, perhaps even as a false modesty, and sometimes as a feeling of not being feminine.

So you can see that having an imbalance, too much masculine energy and not enough feminine energy or vice versa, how this can start to show up in your life, keep you stuck and limit your results.

Now, the thing about these two energies is that historically as women, we have experienced masculine energy in so much of how we are told to live our lives. And for many of us, it has affected our ability to embrace our inner feminine energy and our ability to be vulnerable, to speak our truth, and to command what it is we want and need.

For example, it's masculine energy that is showing up when we are told we should hide our emotions. We're too soft if we show our feelings. We're seen as weak if we have feelings. And we're taught to sweep them under the carpet.

It is masculine energy that demands us to compartmentalize things. To put things in boxes and check off our to do list. To judge our success and our self-worth by what we do or don't outwardly achieve in our life.

It is masculine energy that has taught us to be silent about our wants and needs. Many of us learned this as children when we've been told that children should be seen but not heard. We were told to sit still and be quiet in the classroom. To respect those in power and not speak out.

This is why I believe this topic is just so important in the work that I do. Because to challenge your norms and say YES! to yourself, you must be able to acknowledge, recognize and verbalize your feelings. You must be able to separate your self-worth from your success. And you must be able to unapologetically speak out about your wants, needs and desires without the concern of being judged or reprimanded for doing so.

In my experience coaching women, far too often our feminine energy has been suppressed as a byproduct of growing up in a masculine energetically led society. And just like our limiting stories and beliefs can keep us stuck and out of balance, so too can staying in a largely masculine energetic state.

So, how can you know if your feminine energy has been suppressed? Well, let me share seven common signs and some examples with you.

The first sign is an inability to speak up for yourself or share your truth. This often shows up as holding back your voice and not allowing yourself to be heard. For instance, in meetings, you might avoid sharing your thoughts or ideas because you worry they won't be valued. In personal settings, this might look like agreeing with others just to keep the peace, even when you disagree.

The second sign is being afraid to ask for what you want. This fear usually stems from worries about judgement or rejection. So for example, you might hesitate to ask for a raise at work because you're convinced it will make you appear demanding. Or perhaps you avoid expressing your emotional needs in a relationship because you're afraid of seeming vulnerable or needy.

Now, the third sign is thinking it's bad to put yourself first. This is a big one, my friend. And this belief shows up as always putting other people's needs before your own. So for example, saying yes to social obligations when you're exhausted because you don't want to disappoint others, or refusing to take time out for self-care because it feels selfish.

The fourth sign is an over reliance on logic and a tendency to dismiss your intuition. You might find yourself analyzing every decision to the point of exhaustion. You might find yourself seeking external approval and second-guessing your gut feelings. For instance, you might constantly delay making an important decision because you're waiting for more data or more input rather than trusting your initial instinct.

The fifth sign is struggling to accept help or support. If you often turn down offers of assistance or feel uncomfortable when someone lends a hand, it might be a sign that your feminine energy is suppressed. Now, this might show up as declining help with projects at work or not accepting emotional support from friends. You might think that accepting help signals some kind of weakness or dependency.

Sign number six is difficulty in slowing down and truly resting. This one often shows up as feeling guilty for taking breaks or not being able to enjoy downtime without mentally running through all the things you need to do. So for example, trying to relax during a weekend, but feeling anxious about not checking items off from your to-do list.

And finally, sign number seven is perfectionism and fear of imperfection. Now, this one can look like over preparing, reworking projects until they're just right, or avoiding new challenges to prevent failure. So for example, you might find yourself spending excessive hours revising a presentation, or not pursuing a hobby perhaps because you're afraid you won't be good at it.

Now, what I want you to understand is that all of these signs tie back to self-worth because suppressing your feminine energy often stems from a belief that you are not enough as you are. And so to compensate, you over rely on masculine energy to push harder, to achieve more and try and prove your value through external successes.

But as I've already mentioned, this comes at a big cost of your feminine energy. And this can and will leave you feeling exhausted, disconnected, and quite frankly, still questioning your worth. My friend, it is a relentless self-defeating cycle that takes more from you than it gives. And recognizing these patterns is essential for being able to embrace your feminine energy, for reconnecting with your innate sense of worth, and allowing yourself to live, to create and achieve from a place of ease, flow and less resistance.

So, now that we've talked about what masculine and feminine energy is, and what suppressed feminine energy looks like and how it can impact your life, let me share some tips on how to start shifting that balance. Because recognizing the patterns is one thing, but making changes is where the magic happens. So, let's get into some ways to bring more feminine energy into your day-to-day life and integrate it with your masculine energy to create a more balanced, fulfilling way of living and achieving.

First things first, as always, awareness is key. So start by reflecting on when you find yourself caught in that go, go, go mode. When do you feel like everything is in constant motion, driven by the need to accomplish more? Then, contrast that with the moments when you feel at ease, when everything feels like it's flowing naturally.

Set some time aside and ask yourself, when do I feel most aligned, most relaxed and like life is moving effortlessly? And when do I feel like I'm pushing too hard, like I'm trying to force the outcome, or I'm feeling tense? And then to deepen your awareness, I want you to consider how your body and mind respond during these times. For example, when do you feel most energized and inspired? When do you start to feel drained, exhausted, or perhaps even disconnected?

Take a look at all areas of your life and notice whether you feel these draining sensations perhaps mostly at work, for example, maybe during personal projects or while managing home responsibilities and so forth. These emotional and physical cues are powerful indicators of when you're leaning heavily on your masculine energy versus when you're embracing your feminine energy.

I also recommend tracking these feelings over the course of 48 hours to even a week to help you see the bigger picture and where more balance might be needed.

Then, once you are aware of where you may need to embrace more feminine energy, you can go about bringing more of that softer intuitive side of you into your life. I will offer you a word of warning here though. Don't aim for the all-or-nothing approach to achieving balance. Remember, that is a very masculine energy approach. Start small and gradually tip the scales one step at a time until your masculine and feminine energy feel more in balance.

And also remember, part of embracing your feminine energy is showing yourself grace, showing yourself kindness and self-compassion. So if you find yourself falling back into a predominantly masculine energy state, don't beat yourself up. Notice what you notice and try again. One thing I love to say to myself when I find old habits and behaviors kicking in, or even when I'm triggered by something, is “Isn't that interesting. I wonder what this is trying to show me or tell me.”

With that said, there are lots of ways you can start to embrace your feminine energy, but I want to offer you today three tips I found particularly helpful without needing to completely reinvent the wheel of your day.

The first one is to take mindfulness breaks every single day throughout your day. Carve out just a few minutes during the day to sit in silence or engage in some kind of calming activity like deep breathing or meditation. The idea of this is to encourage you to let go of the need to fill every minute of your day with productive tasks. I like to call this white space, and I actually have it scheduled three times a day on my calendar with a reminder to alert me to take this time to tune out from everything and everyone and tune into my inner world.

By the way, that is a very masculine energy approach to scheduling time for feminine energy. But remember, this is about integrating both energies for balance. This isn't about abandoning masculine energy altogether. It's powerful and necessary. But the goal is to create balance. This is why using a masculine energy approach to ensure you take feminine energy time out can be so very effective. It embraces both energies.

And on that note, the other thing I've found helpful is to pair structured goal-oriented tasks with moments to pause and check in with myself. For example, after a focused work session, you might take five moments to step back and ask yourself, does this still feel aligned? Or maybe the task felt hard and draining, and you might ask yourself, how can I do this with more ease and flow?

I've found that when I pair my strategic planning sessions in this way, with space for moments of inner reflection and intuition, the result isn't just progress. It's progress that feels aligned and feels right. It feels good and it feels balanced.

So think about weaving moments of quiet and reflection into your routine, alongside all of the action and decisiveness. Take a walk without your phone after a productive meeting or enjoy a cup of tea in silence before tackling your next task. This doesn't need to be a complicated.

The second tip I have, or really now it's my third tip, is to allow yourself time to be creative. It could be as simple as doodling. It could be cooking or listening to music. But whatever it is for you, let yourself engage in something that sparks joy within you, without any end goal in mind. What this does is help shift your energy from outcome-based action to process-based enjoyment.

And my final tip is to incorporate daily reflection time into your day. Start or end your day with a few moments of journaling. If you know me or you've been following along for some time now, you will know I am very big on journaling. But the key here is instead of journaling a to-do list or planning out your goals, just allow yourself to write about whatever comes to mind. Or perhaps you might reflect on how you felt during the day. This really helps you to reconnect with your inner self and tap into your feminine energy and intuition.

So, four tips in the end there for you. But you do you. That's what embracing your feminine energy is all about. What feels like feminine energy to you? Then find simple ways to start incorporating that into your day.

Now, before I close things out today, I want to touch briefly on overcoming the barriers that may come up for you when you start embracing your feminine energy.

Listen, I know it can be hard to shift out of that hustle and bustle mindset. It might feel counterintuitive, like if you slow down, you'll fall behind. But here's what I've learned and seen with my clients. Moving forward from a place of balance doesn't make you less productive, it makes your progress more sustainable. And sustainability, my friend, wins in the long run every single time.

So, if you're worried about being seen as less driven or think that pausing will disrupt your momentum, remind yourself that integrating feminine energy doesn't mean doing less. It means doing it differently, with more ease, flow and trust.

For me, I didn't know how I'd be able to keep up my regular workload and take time out for play while I travel. But I was willing to live in the question, and the reality is, I have probably experienced more ease in getting things done than I do in my office. Because I have allowed much more ease and flow into my life during this two-month slow travel experiment.

I decided at the outset of this trip to temporarily let go of the all-or-nothing approach to both work and travel, and surprisingly, there isn't much we haven't seen or that isn't getting done. But I feel a whole lot differently about it. I feel like I have so much more space in my life and so much more physical, mental and emotional balance. So this experiment has definitely shifted my mindset about how work and travel can coexist in my life by tapping into a more balanced masculine and feminine energetic approach.

And I think that the idea of this being a temporary experiment really helped me to avoid coming up against roadblocks to making this happen. It helped me get on board with trying a new more relaxed approach without sending my workaholic brain into a panic. So, that might work for you too. Try taking the attitude of living in the question knowing that at the end of the day you can pivot and change things around whenever you like as much as you like. You really can, my friend. Nothing in this world is permanent.

Most of the time barriers will come up hard and fast when you try to shift your energy either too quickly or too resolutely. So remember what I said before, and start with small changes. Over time, I promise, these moments do add up and you will eventually break that cycle of over relying on your masculine energy to move you forward and prove your worth.

And if you do fall back into an overly masculine energy, remember there's no need to beat yourself up. Instead, tell yourself, “Isn't that interesting? I wonder what this is trying to show me or tell me.” Then notice what you notice and move on and try again.

The last thing I will say about overcoming obstacles to embracing your feminine energy is that using affirmations can be a really powerful way to remind yourself when you are faced with those setbacks that balancing masculine and feminine energy will move you towards the life you want, rather than hold you back.

So, consider creating a few affirmations that you can read regularly throughout your day to help you embrace and importantly normalize feminine energy in your life. Let me give you a few examples. “I am a woman who honors my ambition with strategic action and my well-being with mindful rest.” “I am a woman who pursues my goals with determination while allowing space for intuition and reflection.” Or “I am a woman who says YES! to achieving my dreams with both resilience and grace.”

These affirmations are going to be highly unique to you, but you can use these examples as inspiration for creating your own. The important thing when creating your affirmation is to ensure that it embraces both masculine and feminine energies.

And with that, I'm bringing this episode to a close, but I do want to leave you with this. Saying YES! to yourself and your dreams isn't just about hitting your goals. It's about doing it in a way that keeps you energized, grounded, and connected to what matters most. It's about working in a way that feels sustainable and that feels right for you. It's about honoring you. And tapping into your feminine energy will help you do exactly that.

So take some time out this week to reflect on where you can embrace more feminine energy in your life, and how you can lean into a more intuitive, softer, and receptive side of yourself to help you say YES! to everything your heart desires.

I'll be back with another episode next Wednesday, same time, same place. I do look forward to your company.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what's stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love?

Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what's standing in your way today and I'll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it.

That's https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.

Every month this year, I've had a monthly theme that I have been personally working through to keep me on track to embodying my word of the year. Last month was all about finding more balance in my life for all the things that matter most.

I've got to be honest, I tend to fall out of balance in my life quite easily because I am very much an all-or-nothing kind of girl. So, when I have my sights set on achieving something, I will go after it with a relentless energy and that usually means other areas of my life get sidetracked.

I am also a details-oriented person, so I will plan out my goals in a very comprehensive, strategic and linear way. Now, that in and of itself is not a bad thing, but what I know is that this overall approach to my goals is grounded in a very masculine way of being. And spending too much time in a masculine energy is not only exhausting, but it is what creates imbalance in my life and a feeling of being disconnected from myself and from all the things that matter, not just my goals.

It's something I'm very aware of that I fall into and I'm always working towards improving this default way of being in my life. Because the thing I've learned over the years is that aside from becoming drained and disconnected, being almost solely in a masculine goal driven energy state actually makes it slower and harder to achieve what it is I am so focused on achieving.

And the most effective way to achieve your biggest, boldest goals isn't actually found in doubling down on effort and working harder but in tapping into an entirely different kind of energy. One that is very powerful, despite how it is perceived, and in today's society one that we as women often push aside.

Of course, I'm talking about your feminine energy. And today I want to share with you how leaning into a more intuitive, softer and receptive side of yourself can be the real key to progress that feels aligned, brings more ease and flows naturally. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a conversation about doing less, but about moving forward in a way that makes you feel whole, it makes you feel powerful and truly in sync with everything that matters uniquely to you.

Join me and let's look at how feminine energy can help you say YES! to a life you love waking up to.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

A very warm welcome to you this week from the hustle and bustle of Bangkok, which is the next stop on our two-month slow travel work-play adventure in Thailand. Being here after three weeks in the quiet of our beachside Koh Samui resort is definitely quite the contrast. And the change of energy has given me extra inspiration for today's conversation because it really highlights to me how energy we spend time in can really change the reality we experience.

As I said a moment ago, last month for me was all about finding more balance in my life for the things that matter, not just my big goals. And travel for me is something that really does feed my soul. I love exploring new places and being immersed in different cultures. I love experiencing new things. But I have always approached travel as a singular focused activity, just like I tend to approach my other ambitions in life. You see a pattern here, right?

Now, I moved from Australia to Europe in 2022 to spend a whole lot more time traveling in this part of the world. And my husband and I have indeed spent a whole lot of the last two and a half years doing exactly that. The problem for me, however, is that with my all-or-nothing kind of personality, normally when we travel, I have every minute planned. Well, not quite. But we jam pack in a lot and we see a lot of places. It leaves no time for work and so generally in the lead up to a trip, I have worked pretty crazy hours to ensure that I get all of the things done ahead of time in my business before we leave.

Needless to say, I am usually exhausted when we set out and even more so when we get back because of this all-or-nothing approach, which as I mentioned, is a very masculine energy to be in. And it is and has been a very unbalanced approach to honoring my two big loves, coaching and adventure.

So, at the beginning of this year, my husband and I asked ourselves how we could do this differently. How we could find a way to balance travel and work in a more enjoyable and less exhausting way, which is why we are right now on a two-month slow travel experiment. And interestingly enough, this happened to coincide with my monthly focus on finding more balance in my life.

Now, the idea behind slow travel for us is to spend more time in one place to allow time for me to balance work with sightseeing and relaxation. It's to create a more open-ended way of traveling and working. It's spending more time in one place with less emphasis on needing to see and do all the things, which creates space for both work and play to coexist. Importantly, it creates a whole lot more flow and ease in our days, which is so much more enjoyable and far less exhausting. It is very much a more feminine energy approach to both work and travel.

Which I find interesting because so many of us, not just me, tend to believe that going after our goals is an all-or-nothing approach. We get into this go, go, go kind of masculine energy and we buckle down and work as hard as we can so we can make progress as fast as we can. And yet, often working harder has the opposite effect of actually slowing us down. And our go, go, go energy, our want to make things happen, to force progress and success, actually creates an energetic resistance to progress and success.

In a similar way, many of us believe that when we travel, it's vacation time. It's not time for work and we must switch off and tune out. This singular focused approach equally doesn't always serve us. It can, like for me, actually create much more chaos and less progress overall in your life. And what is meant to be enjoyable simply becomes a blur of exhaustion.

But as I've already seen over this past month, if you are willing to challenge your norms of how life needs to look, of how achieving success looks, of how things like work and play look, and tap into a softer, more free flowing approach, you can actually make progress so much more powerfully towards your goals and have space for all the other things that matter in your world.

So, let's talk about your masculine and feminine energy and how to tap into your softer side to help you say YES! more easily to a life that's not just filled with your heart's desires, but feels fulfilled by them.

First and foremost, I just want to clarify that when I talk about masculine and feminine energy, I'm not talking about gender. I know, it's kind of confusing, but stick with me. What I'm referring to are qualities that everyone has within them, traits that society has categorized as masculine or feminine based on their characteristics. And our energy can be more masculine or more feminine depending on how much we operate from these different traits, these different ways of being. Now, the more these two energies are in balance, the better you can function and the more in balance you will feel.

So, let me give you the rundown on each energy and let's start with masculine energy.

Masculine energy is what's often described as a Yang energy, and it is a very strong, outward and driven energy. The society we live in is actually mostly Yang oriented, and historically we have always lived in a very masculine, energetic world. Masculine energy is the energy that pushes us forward. It compels us to set goals, make plans, and measure success in outwardly tangible outcomes and achievements. It seeks material possessions as a marker of success, and it is focused on the physical world and appearances.

At its core, masculine energy is about taking action towards an end goal. When you create that to-do list or plan your trip, you are operating from masculine energy. It drives on progress, performance, and also being competitive. It's marked by a constant motion to achieve, achieve more, and achieve even more. The masculine energy likes to be in control and when you operate from your masculine energy, you will do things individually. You'll do them independently and in a way that is closed off from other people.

And masculine energy operates in the left side of our brain, so it is highly logical and makes decisions based on an organized set of information and facts. So, it is the rational side of us that is very much rooted in the doing and achieving mindset. When masculine energy tips out of balance, it can show up as a need for power, a need for dominance, and an approach that feels really quite hard and disconnected.

Now, masculine energy does have its place and there is definitely a need for masculine energy. But it has to be with balance because when we have too much masculine energy in society in general, this is what leads to things like war and destruction, a lack of compassion and things like inequality.

And my friend, those same kind of things also show up in your inner world. You can start to feel at war with yourself, at war with others and with the world itself. You might self-sabotage your success, likely you have little self-compassion, and the balance between taking care of you and your dreams and taking care of your shoulds and everyone else in the world is also likely going to be out of balance.

So whilst you need masculine energy to help you get things done, too much of it, like anything, is not necessarily a good thing. And unfortunately for women, we tend to overcompensate in masculine energy in order to forge our way in this very masculine energetically led world. In order to have that career, that independence and that ability to stand up for what we want. So we end up wanting to perform too much, to take the lead too much, to be too decisive, too driven, too independent. And this comes at a cost of our feminine energy.

Having too much masculine energy also means that you may find it harder to hand things over to others, to let go of control, to show your vulnerability or to receive. And that can have a very negative impact on your relationships, your work, and your friendships. Because when you are energetically out of balance, you are standing less in your own power and that very often means you are relying on others to fulfill your needs.

You can probably already start to see how having too much masculine energy can affect your ability to take control of your life story and actually go about creating the results you desire.

Feminine energy, on the other hand, is a Yin energy. It is soft, gentle, sensitive, reflective, intelligent, creative, compassionate. It is nurturing, cooperative, communicative. It's resourceful. It is a very inward energy, and it is very much an emotional energy.

Now, the feminine energy operates in the right side of our brain, and it's also action-oriented, but to the experience of joy, rather than the outcome. It makes decisions based on intuition. It is an energy that has vulnerability, but also emotional strength. And it is more concerned with sacrificing for the greater good than having independence. It defines success by relationships, and it is an energy that is extroverted, open, and receiving.

The feminine energy wants to be rather than do, and it is focused on the emotional world and the inner being. When your feminine energy is out of balance, it can express itself as uncertainty, indecisiveness, in a lack of confidence, as fear, perhaps even as a false modesty, and sometimes as a feeling of not being feminine.

So you can see that having an imbalance, too much masculine energy and not enough feminine energy or vice versa, how this can start to show up in your life, keep you stuck and limit your results.

Now, the thing about these two energies is that historically as women, we have experienced masculine energy in so much of how we are told to live our lives. And for many of us, it has affected our ability to embrace our inner feminine energy and our ability to be vulnerable, to speak our truth, and to command what it is we want and need.

For example, it's masculine energy that is showing up when we are told we should hide our emotions. We're too soft if we show our feelings. We're seen as weak if we have feelings. And we're taught to sweep them under the carpet.

It is masculine energy that demands us to compartmentalize things. To put things in boxes and check off our to do list. To judge our success and our self-worth by what we do or don't outwardly achieve in our life.

It is masculine energy that has taught us to be silent about our wants and needs. Many of us learned this as children when we've been told that children should be seen but not heard. We were told to sit still and be quiet in the classroom. To respect those in power and not speak out.

This is why I believe this topic is just so important in the work that I do. Because to challenge your norms and say YES! to yourself, you must be able to acknowledge, recognize and verbalize your feelings. You must be able to separate your self-worth from your success. And you must be able to unapologetically speak out about your wants, needs and desires without the concern of being judged or reprimanded for doing so.

In my experience coaching women, far too often our feminine energy has been suppressed as a byproduct of growing up in a masculine energetically led society. And just like our limiting stories and beliefs can keep us stuck and out of balance, so too can staying in a largely masculine energetic state.

So, how can you know if your feminine energy has been suppressed? Well, let me share seven common signs and some examples with you.

The first sign is an inability to speak up for yourself or share your truth. This often shows up as holding back your voice and not allowing yourself to be heard. For instance, in meetings, you might avoid sharing your thoughts or ideas because you worry they won't be valued. In personal settings, this might look like agreeing with others just to keep the peace, even when you disagree.

The second sign is being afraid to ask for what you want. This fear usually stems from worries about judgement or rejection. So for example, you might hesitate to ask for a raise at work because you're convinced it will make you appear demanding. Or perhaps you avoid expressing your emotional needs in a relationship because you're afraid of seeming vulnerable or needy.

Now, the third sign is thinking it's bad to put yourself first. This is a big one, my friend. And this belief shows up as always putting other people's needs before your own. So for example, saying yes to social obligations when you're exhausted because you don't want to disappoint others, or refusing to take time out for self-care because it feels selfish.

The fourth sign is an over reliance on logic and a tendency to dismiss your intuition. You might find yourself analyzing every decision to the point of exhaustion. You might find yourself seeking external approval and second-guessing your gut feelings. For instance, you might constantly delay making an important decision because you're waiting for more data or more input rather than trusting your initial instinct.

The fifth sign is struggling to accept help or support. If you often turn down offers of assistance or feel uncomfortable when someone lends a hand, it might be a sign that your feminine energy is suppressed. Now, this might show up as declining help with projects at work or not accepting emotional support from friends. You might think that accepting help signals some kind of weakness or dependency.

Sign number six is difficulty in slowing down and truly resting. This one often shows up as feeling guilty for taking breaks or not being able to enjoy downtime without mentally running through all the things you need to do. So for example, trying to relax during a weekend, but feeling anxious about not checking items off from your to-do list.

And finally, sign number seven is perfectionism and fear of imperfection. Now, this one can look like over preparing, reworking projects until they're just right, or avoiding new challenges to prevent failure. So for example, you might find yourself spending excessive hours revising a presentation, or not pursuing a hobby perhaps because you're afraid you won't be good at it.

Now, what I want you to understand is that all of these signs tie back to self-worth because suppressing your feminine energy often stems from a belief that you are not enough as you are. And so to compensate, you over rely on masculine energy to push harder, to achieve more and try and prove your value through external successes.

But as I've already mentioned, this comes at a big cost of your feminine energy. And this can and will leave you feeling exhausted, disconnected, and quite frankly, still questioning your worth. My friend, it is a relentless self-defeating cycle that takes more from you than it gives. And recognizing these patterns is essential for being able to embrace your feminine energy, for reconnecting with your innate sense of worth, and allowing yourself to live, to create and achieve from a place of ease, flow and less resistance.

So, now that we've talked about what masculine and feminine energy is, and what suppressed feminine energy looks like and how it can impact your life, let me share some tips on how to start shifting that balance. Because recognizing the patterns is one thing, but making changes is where the magic happens. So, let's get into some ways to bring more feminine energy into your day-to-day life and integrate it with your masculine energy to create a more balanced, fulfilling way of living and achieving.

First things first, as always, awareness is key. So start by reflecting on when you find yourself caught in that go, go, go mode. When do you feel like everything is in constant motion, driven by the need to accomplish more? Then, contrast that with the moments when you feel at ease, when everything feels like it's flowing naturally.

Set some time aside and ask yourself, when do I feel most aligned, most relaxed and like life is moving effortlessly? And when do I feel like I'm pushing too hard, like I'm trying to force the outcome, or I'm feeling tense? And then to deepen your awareness, I want you to consider how your body and mind respond during these times. For example, when do you feel most energized and inspired? When do you start to feel drained, exhausted, or perhaps even disconnected?

Take a look at all areas of your life and notice whether you feel these draining sensations perhaps mostly at work, for example, maybe during personal projects or while managing home responsibilities and so forth. These emotional and physical cues are powerful indicators of when you're leaning heavily on your masculine energy versus when you're embracing your feminine energy.

I also recommend tracking these feelings over the course of 48 hours to even a week to help you see the bigger picture and where more balance might be needed.

Then, once you are aware of where you may need to embrace more feminine energy, you can go about bringing more of that softer intuitive side of you into your life. I will offer you a word of warning here though. Don't aim for the all-or-nothing approach to achieving balance. Remember, that is a very masculine energy approach. Start small and gradually tip the scales one step at a time until your masculine and feminine energy feel more in balance.

And also remember, part of embracing your feminine energy is showing yourself grace, showing yourself kindness and self-compassion. So if you find yourself falling back into a predominantly masculine energy state, don't beat yourself up. Notice what you notice and try again. One thing I love to say to myself when I find old habits and behaviors kicking in, or even when I'm triggered by something, is “Isn't that interesting. I wonder what this is trying to show me or tell me.”

With that said, there are lots of ways you can start to embrace your feminine energy, but I want to offer you today three tips I found particularly helpful without needing to completely reinvent the wheel of your day.

The first one is to take mindfulness breaks every single day throughout your day. Carve out just a few minutes during the day to sit in silence or engage in some kind of calming activity like deep breathing or meditation. The idea of this is to encourage you to let go of the need to fill every minute of your day with productive tasks. I like to call this white space, and I actually have it scheduled three times a day on my calendar with a reminder to alert me to take this time to tune out from everything and everyone and tune into my inner world.

By the way, that is a very masculine energy approach to scheduling time for feminine energy. But remember, this is about integrating both energies for balance. This isn't about abandoning masculine energy altogether. It's powerful and necessary. But the goal is to create balance. This is why using a masculine energy approach to ensure you take feminine energy time out can be so very effective. It embraces both energies.

And on that note, the other thing I've found helpful is to pair structured goal-oriented tasks with moments to pause and check in with myself. For example, after a focused work session, you might take five moments to step back and ask yourself, does this still feel aligned? Or maybe the task felt hard and draining, and you might ask yourself, how can I do this with more ease and flow?

I've found that when I pair my strategic planning sessions in this way, with space for moments of inner reflection and intuition, the result isn't just progress. It's progress that feels aligned and feels right. It feels good and it feels balanced.

So think about weaving moments of quiet and reflection into your routine, alongside all of the action and decisiveness. Take a walk without your phone after a productive meeting or enjoy a cup of tea in silence before tackling your next task. This doesn't need to be a complicated.

The second tip I have, or really now it's my third tip, is to allow yourself time to be creative. It could be as simple as doodling. It could be cooking or listening to music. But whatever it is for you, let yourself engage in something that sparks joy within you, without any end goal in mind. What this does is help shift your energy from outcome-based action to process-based enjoyment.

And my final tip is to incorporate daily reflection time into your day. Start or end your day with a few moments of journaling. If you know me or you've been following along for some time now, you will know I am very big on journaling. But the key here is instead of journaling a to-do list or planning out your goals, just allow yourself to write about whatever comes to mind. Or perhaps you might reflect on how you felt during the day. This really helps you to reconnect with your inner self and tap into your feminine energy and intuition.

So, four tips in the end there for you. But you do you. That's what embracing your feminine energy is all about. What feels like feminine energy to you? Then find simple ways to start incorporating that into your day.

Now, before I close things out today, I want to touch briefly on overcoming the barriers that may come up for you when you start embracing your feminine energy.

Listen, I know it can be hard to shift out of that hustle and bustle mindset. It might feel counterintuitive, like if you slow down, you'll fall behind. But here's what I've learned and seen with my clients. Moving forward from a place of balance doesn't make you less productive, it makes your progress more sustainable. And sustainability, my friend, wins in the long run every single time.

So, if you're worried about being seen as less driven or think that pausing will disrupt your momentum, remind yourself that integrating feminine energy doesn't mean doing less. It means doing it differently, with more ease, flow and trust.

For me, I didn't know how I'd be able to keep up my regular workload and take time out for play while I travel. But I was willing to live in the question, and the reality is, I have probably experienced more ease in getting things done than I do in my office. Because I have allowed much more ease and flow into my life during this two-month slow travel experiment.

I decided at the outset of this trip to temporarily let go of the all-or-nothing approach to both work and travel, and surprisingly, there isn't much we haven't seen or that isn't getting done. But I feel a whole lot differently about it. I feel like I have so much more space in my life and so much more physical, mental and emotional balance. So this experiment has definitely shifted my mindset about how work and travel can coexist in my life by tapping into a more balanced masculine and feminine energetic approach.

And I think that the idea of this being a temporary experiment really helped me to avoid coming up against roadblocks to making this happen. It helped me get on board with trying a new more relaxed approach without sending my workaholic brain into a panic. So, that might work for you too. Try taking the attitude of living in the question knowing that at the end of the day you can pivot and change things around whenever you like as much as you like. You really can, my friend. Nothing in this world is permanent.

Most of the time barriers will come up hard and fast when you try to shift your energy either too quickly or too resolutely. So remember what I said before, and start with small changes. Over time, I promise, these moments do add up and you will eventually break that cycle of over relying on your masculine energy to move you forward and prove your worth.

And if you do fall back into an overly masculine energy, remember there's no need to beat yourself up. Instead, tell yourself, “Isn't that interesting? I wonder what this is trying to show me or tell me.” Then notice what you notice and move on and try again.

The last thing I will say about overcoming obstacles to embracing your feminine energy is that using affirmations can be a really powerful way to remind yourself when you are faced with those setbacks that balancing masculine and feminine energy will move you towards the life you want, rather than hold you back.

So, consider creating a few affirmations that you can read regularly throughout your day to help you embrace and importantly normalize feminine energy in your life. Let me give you a few examples. “I am a woman who honors my ambition with strategic action and my well-being with mindful rest.” “I am a woman who pursues my goals with determination while allowing space for intuition and reflection.” Or “I am a woman who says YES! to achieving my dreams with both resilience and grace.”

These affirmations are going to be highly unique to you, but you can use these examples as inspiration for creating your own. The important thing when creating your affirmation is to ensure that it embraces both masculine and feminine energies.

And with that, I'm bringing this episode to a close, but I do want to leave you with this. Saying YES! to yourself and your dreams isn't just about hitting your goals. It's about doing it in a way that keeps you energized, grounded, and connected to what matters most. It's about working in a way that feels sustainable and that feels right for you. It's about honoring you. And tapping into your feminine energy will help you do exactly that.

So take some time out this week to reflect on where you can embrace more feminine energy in your life, and how you can lean into a more intuitive, softer, and receptive side of yourself to help you say YES! to everything your heart desires.

I'll be back with another episode next Wednesday, same time, same place. I do look forward to your company.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what's stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love?

Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what's standing in your way today and I'll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it.

That's https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.