Have you ever found yourself stuck in a constant battle between your aspirations and the limitations that always seem to pull you back? That frustrating place where, despite your best efforts, you seem to hit the same walls over and over again, and month after month, maybe year after year, you are no closer to experiencing the success or kind of life you know deep down you are meant for and capable of. You just can't seem to break through.

Well, today, my friend, I'm inviting you to consider a critical question. Which battle are you really fighting? Are you fighting for your dreams? Or are you unconsciously fighting for your limitations?

Join me in this episode of The Self-Creation School podcast and let's find out.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello, my beautiful friend, and welcome to today's episode where I want to explore a concept that could be the key to getting out of your own way and stepping into your full potential. In case you are listening in for the first time, this podcast is a place where I share my Self-Creation secrets to help you create a life you love waking up to every single day, one YES! at a time.

Now, the question I posed at the beginning of this episode was, are you fighting for your dreams or for your limitations? It's an important question, because either way, you will win the battle. And often we like to think we are fighting for our dreams, but we're actually putting more energy into defending our limitations.

If you are finding it challenging to change any part of who you are or any aspect of your life experience, I can almost certainly guarantee you are siding with your limitations, and most probably, you are not even aware you are doing so.

So, let's take a look at what it means to truly fight for your dreams, how to identify when you are defending your limitations, and some practical steps that will help you shift your mindset and actions towards the fight that will lead you to the victory you want.

And let's start with defining what fighting for your dreams means versus fighting for your limitations, to make sure we are really on the same page when it comes to these two concepts.

Fighting for your dreams can be defined as the persistent and determined effort to achieve your goals and aspirations despite facing obstacles, challenges and setbacks. It involves passion, resilience, hard work, adaptability and an unwavering belief in yourself.

On the other hand, fighting for your limitations is the act of reinforcing or defending your self-imposed constraints or the negative beliefs that limit your personal growth and achievement. You focus or fixate on your obstacles, making excuses, justifying or rationalizing why certain goals, changes or improvements are unattainable, and in turn, prevent yourself from reaching your full potential.

So, when you are fighting for your dreams, you are taking deliberate actions to pursue your deepest aspirations and desires, even when the going gets super tough. It's about saying YES! to all of the possibilities, good and bad. Saying YES! to learning and growth, and to the belief that you can create the life you want.

When you are fighting for your limitations, you are likely allowing your unconscious defense mechanisms to run on autopilot, and they keep you on the same old beaten track inside your comfort zone. And what this looks like is holding on to self-doubt, fear, and making excuses or justifications that prevent you moving forward. It's the voice inside that tells you, “No, you can't do this because…”, and then fills in the blank with endless reasons why.

Instead of challenging these limitations, what happens is, you often find yourself justifying them and the end result is you reinforce your current reality again and again. You say YES! to your limitations and no to your dreams. Recognizing this distinction between the two and which side of the battle you are siding with is the first step towards finally breaking through and creating the life you truly desire for yourself.

Awareness always opens the door to change. So I encourage you to ask yourself, are you constantly retreating from the battle to conquer your dreams at the first sign of trouble and settling for less than you truly are capable of in exchange for the comfort of your limiting stories? Or are you facing those obstacles head on knowing you can and will come out stronger on the other side no matter what?

To help you think about whose side you're really on, here are some of the common enemies we as women often side with that cause us to shrink our potential and in turn our opportunity to experience living out our dreams.

Enemies like this, I'm not good enough, I don't have the time, skills or resources, I don't deserve that kind of success, it's too late for me to start, I'm afraid of failure, people will judge me, I need to be perfect before I can begin, there's no hope because others are so much better than me.

If you're telling yourself any of these kind of stories, then you are siding with your limitations and probably treating them with a loyalty that quite honestly, they do not deserve. All the while, these beliefs are going about sabotaging your dreams, because when you give these kind of enemies respect, by allowing them to be the loudest voice in your army, they will have you convinced that you can't move forward and overcome the hurdles you will inevitably face in fighting for your dreams, so therefore, you shouldn't enter the battle.

But the truth is, these are all just stories, stories you tell yourself that you are wearing like a badge of honor, despite the fact they don't actually serve you. And like any story, they can be rewritten. You can tell yourself a new story that will lead you to a completely different outcome and choose to wear that story as your badge of honor. You can have different internal narratives or conversations, if you like, with yourself that will positively influence your mindset, your emotions, and the actions you take, rather than limit them and have you retreating for the shadows.

Negative self-talk almost always leads to self-doubt, fear, and inaction. It reinforces your self-imposed limitations, those stories you tell yourself about who you are, and what is and isn't possible for you. And it will keep you stuck in enemy's lines because phrases like, I can't do this, I'm not good enough, or I'll never succeed, become self-fulfilling prophecies.

You tell yourself you'll never succeed, and so you don't take the action that would lead you to succeeding, and so you don't succeed. Because you don't succeed, you confirm to yourself that you'll never succeed, and so this is what you believe to be true about you. And so on goes the cycle.

But you can break that cycle by starting to engage in positive self-talk. When you have positive conversations with yourself about your SELF and what's possible for you, it boosts your internal team morale with things like confidence, resilience and motivation. The very things that support you being the kind of woman who fights for her dreams.

Positive self-talk is going to be your ultimate friend in the face of doing battle for your dreams. Telling yourself positive stories about who you are, what you are truly capable of, what is possible for you, will empower you to take those risks, overcome the challenges, and persist in the face of whatever setbacks come your way. And it's from this kind of mindset that you will fight for your dreams until they become your reality.

Now before I move on and share some strategies for how you can shift your self-talk and in turn your mindset, here are some other signs you may be fighting for your limitations rather than your dreams.

Sign number one is procrastination. You regularly delay or avoid tasks related to your goals. So for example, perhaps you are constantly postponing starting your business plan or you never enroll in that course you've been thinking about. Instead, you find other things to keep you busy, things that don't really push you closer to your dreams.

Sign number two is self-sabotage. This means engaging in behaviors that stand in the way of your progress. So for instance, you might miss important deadlines or not prepare adequately for opportunities that come your way. It's like always setting yourself up for failure, so you have an excuse to stay in your comfort zone.

Sign number three is avoiding opportunities. You don't take advantage of opportunities that could lead you to growth. Maybe you don't apply for that promotion at work because you think you're not ready, or you avoid public speaking engagements because you fear judgment. These are missed chances to grow and show what you're capable of.

And sign number four is downplaying your achievements. You minimize your successes and don't acknowledge your capabilities. So for example, you might attribute your achievements to luck, rather than your skills and hard work. When someone compliments your success, you might simply brush it off or give credit to external factors, instead of owning your efforts and your talents.

Now I want you to understand that if any of those signs resonated with you, I do not put these forth as some kind of judgment. And I encourage you to also not engage in self-judgment or self-criticism if you are engaging in any of these kinds of behaviors.

Remember, we are all human. We are not perfect. And we all have beliefs and behaviors that don't support us in being the best possible version of ourselves we can be. We are a beautiful work in progress, and the very fact that you are listening into this podcast tells me you are very much committed to doing the work to step into your greater potential, bit by bit, every single day. That, for me, is such a positive trait that it outweighs any negative story you could ever tell me about you.

Recognizing these behaviors, however, is crucial because they reveal where you might be unintentionally fighting for your limitations. And once you see these patterns, you can begin to shift your mindset and start fighting for your dreams. And what you're going to find is, when you start digging and looking into why it is you are engaging in these sorts of behaviors, even though they don't move you closer to the things you say you want, you are most likely going to discover some of those self-talk enemies I talked about just a few moments ago.

So this all goes hand-in-hand. And the reason for that is, the stories you tell yourself about your SELF, and what you are and are not capable of, will determine the kind of actions you do and don't take.

If you don't believe deep down that you are a woman who runs her own business, for example, whenever you think about taking action that contradicts this belief, your brain is going to sense danger and want to rein you right back in. So you might be taking action and making progress, then all of a sudden you self-sabotage your efforts and find yourself right back at square one. Or you start procrastinating on moving yourself any further forth. You get the idea, right?

Your stories define who you be and who you be informs your action. So if you want to change your behavior you first need to change your story, the story of who you believe yourself to be. And on that note, I'd love to share with you some tips and strategies for shifting your negative stories and self-talk and taking action that supports the fight for your dreams, not your limitations.

Let's start with my tips for shifting your stories and in turn, shifting your mindset.

First of all, as I often say, and I think I said earlier in this podcast, awareness is key. So the first step in transforming those negative stories is becoming aware of your negative self-talk. Pay attention to the inner dialogue you are having with yourself throughout the day and notice when it turns negative, or when it makes you feel disempowered or limited in some way. When it makes you feel like you can't, won't or shouldn't do something.

When this happens, it's important to acknowledge these thoughts without judgment, without criticism or beating yourself up for having them. Simply recognize them and recognize that you are engaging in negative self-talk. There's no need to make it mean anything more. So here's an example of how to do that. Whenever you catch yourself thinking, I'm not good enough, acknowledge it by saying, “I hear you, but this really isn't true”.

And once you become aware of your negative self-talk and acknowledged it, then you can move on to the second step which is to challenge and reframe your negative thought.

So once you identify the negative self-talk, what you need to do next is challenge its validity. Ask yourself, what is the concrete evidence, evidence that leaves not a shred of doubt, that supports these thoughts? Often, you'll find that they're based on unfounded fears or assumptions, or outdated information that no longer holds true.

And a tip if you have trouble seeing past the holes in your evidence, search for all the ways the opposite of what you're telling yourself is true. So if you think you're not good enough, and you seemingly have lots of evidence for how that's true, look for evidence of the times when you were good enough.

Look in all areas of your life, far and wide, and I guarantee you that if you really look, you will find at least one piece of evidence to support how you are good enough. And if you can find just one tiny shred of evidence that is contrary to what you believe to be true, then this is proof that what you believe is not the only truth available to you.

When you can see there are alternative stories that you could tell, that your current story is not the only truth you could be loyal to, this opens the door to being able to reframe these negative thoughts into more positive, empowering statements that you can tell yourself moving forward.

For example, you might take the story, “I don't have enough experience to apply for that promotion”, and reframe it to, “Applying for this promotion is an opportunity for growth, everyone has to start somewhere to gain experience”.

Once you have a new, more empowering story to tell yourself, the next step is to use affirmations to help you ingrain this new story into your belief system. Positive affirmations are such powerful tools for rewiring your brain to adopt a more positive and supportive mindset.

So with the dream or dreams you want to fight for in mind and your new story, create a list of affirmations that resonate with your goals and aspirations. It is particularly powerful when you link these affirmations to your identity. Because when you focus on who you believe yourself to be first, the action you want to take to fight for your dreams becomes a whole lot easier to take.

So here's some examples. I am a woman who is capable and worthy of success. I am a woman who has the skills and determination to achieve my goals. I am a woman whose every step brings me closer to my dreams.

Now you want to be sure to repeat your affirmations daily, and especially when negative self-talk arises. So keep them somewhere handy. For me, I like to keep them in my calendar app on my phone, which syncs across all of my devices and so generally, I'm going to have access to one of these devices within reach.

The fourth step to shift your negative self-talk to positive self-talk is to spend some time regularly to visualize your success.

Visualization is a technique that involves creating a vivid mental image of achieving your goals. When you visualize your success, what you're doing is training your brain to believe that it's possible. And this can be very powerful in helping you shift your self-talk from doubt to confidence, for example.

I like to do an in-depth visualization to start where I really visualize in great detail what a day in my life would look like having achieved my dreams. And from there, spend a few minutes each day visualizing myself having won the battle for my dreams and living out this life. Whenever you spend time visualizing, and however much time you spend, really try to picture the details, feel the emotions, and imagine all of the positive outcomes in your life.

Tapping into your emotions here really is key, because it's never the goal itself that you're really fighting for. It's always how you will feel having won that battle. And that is actually a topic that deserves an entire episode of its own, and perhaps I'll talk about that in the coming weeks, so definitely stay tuned for that.

But coming back to my tips, the final tip I have for shifting your stories and negative self-talk and adopting a more positive mindset is to practice self-compassion.

So many of you beat yourself up constantly about everything. Listen, I've been there too and here's what I've realized. We spend 24 7 with ourselves for the entirety of our lives. We do not get a break. We are with ourselves every minute of every day as long as we're given the gift of breathing on this earth.

I know, like me, you wouldn't dream of treating the people you love like you treat yourself. You probably wouldn't even treat a complete stranger like that. If you do treat people like that you wouldn't have people in your life for very long. But you can't desert yourself. You can't just pick up and say, boy, she treats me so bad, I'm not hanging out with her anymore. Well, you can try, but you probably won't be successful. And again, ask me how I know.

So, it's time to stop with the harsh self-judgment and criticism and beating yourself up. Kicking yourself when you're down. It's time to respect and honor this woman who you are spending your entire life with whether you want to or not. It's time to treat her like the queen she deserves to be treated as. Starting today, starting right now, if you want to say it to the person you love most, don't say it to you.

It's time to be kind to yourself, especially when encountering setbacks. It's time to treat yourself with the same understanding and encouragement you would offer to your best of all friends. When things don't go as planned, remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes. Reflect on what you can learn from it and move forward.

Remember, you get to decide what you make everything mean. You can make something that didn't go to plan mean that you are a failure, and you will never succeed, and stay stuck fighting for your limitations. Or you can make it mean that you found out one way something doesn't work, and keep on looking for the way that does, with all of the knowledge you gain.

Moving on, once you have more positive stories that support you in your fight for your dreams, you have laid the foundation for being the kind of woman who does just that and taking action accordingly. I want to offer you some tips to help you build on this foundation and start moving yourself powerfully forward in the fight for your dreams.

And tip number one is, using your new story, your “I am a woman who” affirmation statements and your visualization, spend some time to think about the version of you who has successfully fought for her dreams.

Who are you? What traits do you possess? How do you tackle challenges? Where do you spend your time? Who with? What do you value? What standards do you live by? How do you show up in your world and for yourself? What decisions do you make? And so on and so forth.

Get clear, and I mean really clear, on who the you is who has won the battle, and is living out the victory of achieving her dreams. Because once you know who she is, this is going to inform every action you take moving forward.

Tip number two is to schedule who you be onto your calendar in outcome-based time blocks or activities.

So what I mean by this is if your goal is to be a fit and healthy woman, using the identity of that version of you, think about all the things you would do in your day, the action you would take in being her. Then schedule it right onto your calendar.

If you get up at 6am so you have time for a healthy breakfast before heading to do a workout, schedule your wake up time for 6am onto your calendar. Schedule the time you need for breakfast, for a healthy breakfast, and go so far as to include your meal plan in that time slot for the day.

Schedule your workout time, including your travel time, and the time you need to shower afterwards and get dressed as the future you would dress. If the fit and healthy you spends time once a week to make a meal plan, put this into a time block on your calendar and include a note for exactly what the outcome of that time block will be.

If you shop once a week for groceries, again, put it into your calendar. If you batch cook meals, schedule the time and the outcome into your calendar. From 2pm to 4pm every Saturday, you know you will be prepping the meals for the week ahead.

What this does is it breaks down your bigger goal into much smaller manageable daily activities and habits that the future you would engage in. It puts the focus onto being first, so that you naturally do all of the things that you want to do. It removes the indecision that some of those enemy stories might try and overwhelm you with in the moment when you don't have a solid plan of action.

It helps you become so much more productive and allows you to track your progress so you can refine this as you go and look at what is and isn't working, and maybe why that is. Maybe you'll uncover a few more enemy stories in that process. And listen, I highly recommend that you do just that. Refine it as you go.

Remember, you are my work in progress, and this is a work in progress just like that. As you step into the future you through your calendar, you are going to be constantly learning about yourself and growing who you be. So be open, be flexible, and adapt your schedule as you go until it starts representing more of the you who has fought for her dreams and less of the you who is fighting for her limitations.

The last tip I want to share is to surround yourself with positive influences. As they say, like attracts like. The people you interact with can significantly impact your self-talk and who you be. Think about it. How many times do you adapt the way you speak, the kind of things you say, and the way you behave to suit the company that you're in.

Most of us do this more often than we realize, because here's the thing. If you're in the company of positive minded, successful and driven people, and you start loading the conversation with negativity, you are not going to be in their company for very long. These kind of people do not allow this kind of negativity into their world. So if you want to hang out with them, you will have to up level the kind of conversations you have.

Just like this, if you hang out in a crowd that are always talking negatively, maybe even wallowing in victim mentality behavior, nothing ever goes their way in the world is to blame kind of thinking, if you come in and start spruiking positivity, you probably won't be tolerated there for long either. And likely, if you really want to hang around, you will change the way you talk within this crowd and adopt their negative mentality which is also going to affect who you be.

So it really is important to choose very carefully who you hang out with if you want to do battle for your dreams. My recommendation is to surround yourself as much as possible with supportive, positive individuals who believe in you and your dreams. Because their encouragement can help reinforce your own positive self-talk and the identity of a woman who has successfully fought for her dreams.

If you can't be around these kind of people physically, seek them out in other ways. Podcasts, books, blogs, online communities. In the world we live in, putting yourself in the company of positive and successful people has never been easier. Join the sidelines of people who are either fighting for their dreams, or who have been successful in doing so, and you will become a much stronger fighter for your own.

So those are my tips for shifting your self-talk and your mindset to support you and being the woman who fights for her dreams, not her limitations.

The key thing I really want you to take away from today's episode is that the power of self-talk cannot be underestimated in fighting for your dreams because it can be your friend, or it can be your enemy. At the end of the day, your self-talk, your stories, informs who you be and who you be determines the action you do and don't take. You can be the woman who says no to your limitations and YES! to your dreams, and I hope this episode has inspired you to do just that.

Before I sign off, in my weekly email CREATED, I share more on my weekly podcast topics, including actionable steps I don't share here and a downloadable workbook to help you do this work. Women tell me is the weekly email that gives them A-Ha moments over their Wednesday morning latte. If you're not yet on that list, honestly my friend, you are missing out. So head on over to self creation school dot com forward slash created and grab yourself a free backstage pass today.

I'll be here for another conversation next Wednesday on creating a life you love.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what's stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love? Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what's standing in your way today and I'll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it. That's https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a constant battle between your aspirations and the limitations that always seem to pull you back? That frustrating place where, despite your best efforts, you seem to hit the same walls over and over again, and month after month, maybe year after year, you are no closer to experiencing the success or kind of life you know deep down you are meant for and capable of. You just can't seem to break through.

Well, today, my friend, I'm inviting you to consider a critical question. Which battle are you really fighting? Are you fighting for your dreams? Or are you unconsciously fighting for your limitations?

Join me in this episode of The Self-Creation School podcast and let's find out.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello, my beautiful friend, and welcome to today's episode where I want to explore a concept that could be the key to getting out of your own way and stepping into your full potential. In case you are listening in for the first time, this podcast is a place where I share my Self-Creation secrets to help you create a life you love waking up to every single day, one YES! at a time.

Now, the question I posed at the beginning of this episode was, are you fighting for your dreams or for your limitations? It's an important question, because either way, you will win the battle. And often we like to think we are fighting for our dreams, but we're actually putting more energy into defending our limitations.

If you are finding it challenging to change any part of who you are or any aspect of your life experience, I can almost certainly guarantee you are siding with your limitations, and most probably, you are not even aware you are doing so.

So, let's take a look at what it means to truly fight for your dreams, how to identify when you are defending your limitations, and some practical steps that will help you shift your mindset and actions towards the fight that will lead you to the victory you want.

And let's start with defining what fighting for your dreams means versus fighting for your limitations, to make sure we are really on the same page when it comes to these two concepts.

Fighting for your dreams can be defined as the persistent and determined effort to achieve your goals and aspirations despite facing obstacles, challenges and setbacks. It involves passion, resilience, hard work, adaptability and an unwavering belief in yourself.

On the other hand, fighting for your limitations is the act of reinforcing or defending your self-imposed constraints or the negative beliefs that limit your personal growth and achievement. You focus or fixate on your obstacles, making excuses, justifying or rationalizing why certain goals, changes or improvements are unattainable, and in turn, prevent yourself from reaching your full potential.

So, when you are fighting for your dreams, you are taking deliberate actions to pursue your deepest aspirations and desires, even when the going gets super tough. It's about saying YES! to all of the possibilities, good and bad. Saying YES! to learning and growth, and to the belief that you can create the life you want.

When you are fighting for your limitations, you are likely allowing your unconscious defense mechanisms to run on autopilot, and they keep you on the same old beaten track inside your comfort zone. And what this looks like is holding on to self-doubt, fear, and making excuses or justifications that prevent you moving forward. It's the voice inside that tells you, “No, you can't do this because…”, and then fills in the blank with endless reasons why.

Instead of challenging these limitations, what happens is, you often find yourself justifying them and the end result is you reinforce your current reality again and again. You say YES! to your limitations and no to your dreams. Recognizing this distinction between the two and which side of the battle you are siding with is the first step towards finally breaking through and creating the life you truly desire for yourself.

Awareness always opens the door to change. So I encourage you to ask yourself, are you constantly retreating from the battle to conquer your dreams at the first sign of trouble and settling for less than you truly are capable of in exchange for the comfort of your limiting stories? Or are you facing those obstacles head on knowing you can and will come out stronger on the other side no matter what?

To help you think about whose side you're really on, here are some of the common enemies we as women often side with that cause us to shrink our potential and in turn our opportunity to experience living out our dreams.

Enemies like this, I'm not good enough, I don't have the time, skills or resources, I don't deserve that kind of success, it's too late for me to start, I'm afraid of failure, people will judge me, I need to be perfect before I can begin, there's no hope because others are so much better than me.

If you're telling yourself any of these kind of stories, then you are siding with your limitations and probably treating them with a loyalty that quite honestly, they do not deserve. All the while, these beliefs are going about sabotaging your dreams, because when you give these kind of enemies respect, by allowing them to be the loudest voice in your army, they will have you convinced that you can't move forward and overcome the hurdles you will inevitably face in fighting for your dreams, so therefore, you shouldn't enter the battle.

But the truth is, these are all just stories, stories you tell yourself that you are wearing like a badge of honor, despite the fact they don't actually serve you. And like any story, they can be rewritten. You can tell yourself a new story that will lead you to a completely different outcome and choose to wear that story as your badge of honor. You can have different internal narratives or conversations, if you like, with yourself that will positively influence your mindset, your emotions, and the actions you take, rather than limit them and have you retreating for the shadows.

Negative self-talk almost always leads to self-doubt, fear, and inaction. It reinforces your self-imposed limitations, those stories you tell yourself about who you are, and what is and isn't possible for you. And it will keep you stuck in enemy's lines because phrases like, I can't do this, I'm not good enough, or I'll never succeed, become self-fulfilling prophecies.

You tell yourself you'll never succeed, and so you don't take the action that would lead you to succeeding, and so you don't succeed. Because you don't succeed, you confirm to yourself that you'll never succeed, and so this is what you believe to be true about you. And so on goes the cycle.

But you can break that cycle by starting to engage in positive self-talk. When you have positive conversations with yourself about your SELF and what's possible for you, it boosts your internal team morale with things like confidence, resilience and motivation. The very things that support you being the kind of woman who fights for her dreams.

Positive self-talk is going to be your ultimate friend in the face of doing battle for your dreams. Telling yourself positive stories about who you are, what you are truly capable of, what is possible for you, will empower you to take those risks, overcome the challenges, and persist in the face of whatever setbacks come your way. And it's from this kind of mindset that you will fight for your dreams until they become your reality.

Now before I move on and share some strategies for how you can shift your self-talk and in turn your mindset, here are some other signs you may be fighting for your limitations rather than your dreams.

Sign number one is procrastination. You regularly delay or avoid tasks related to your goals. So for example, perhaps you are constantly postponing starting your business plan or you never enroll in that course you've been thinking about. Instead, you find other things to keep you busy, things that don't really push you closer to your dreams.

Sign number two is self-sabotage. This means engaging in behaviors that stand in the way of your progress. So for instance, you might miss important deadlines or not prepare adequately for opportunities that come your way. It's like always setting yourself up for failure, so you have an excuse to stay in your comfort zone.

Sign number three is avoiding opportunities. You don't take advantage of opportunities that could lead you to growth. Maybe you don't apply for that promotion at work because you think you're not ready, or you avoid public speaking engagements because you fear judgment. These are missed chances to grow and show what you're capable of.

And sign number four is downplaying your achievements. You minimize your successes and don't acknowledge your capabilities. So for example, you might attribute your achievements to luck, rather than your skills and hard work. When someone compliments your success, you might simply brush it off or give credit to external factors, instead of owning your efforts and your talents.

Now I want you to understand that if any of those signs resonated with you, I do not put these forth as some kind of judgment. And I encourage you to also not engage in self-judgment or self-criticism if you are engaging in any of these kinds of behaviors.

Remember, we are all human. We are not perfect. And we all have beliefs and behaviors that don't support us in being the best possible version of ourselves we can be. We are a beautiful work in progress, and the very fact that you are listening into this podcast tells me you are very much committed to doing the work to step into your greater potential, bit by bit, every single day. That, for me, is such a positive trait that it outweighs any negative story you could ever tell me about you.

Recognizing these behaviors, however, is crucial because they reveal where you might be unintentionally fighting for your limitations. And once you see these patterns, you can begin to shift your mindset and start fighting for your dreams. And what you're going to find is, when you start digging and looking into why it is you are engaging in these sorts of behaviors, even though they don't move you closer to the things you say you want, you are most likely going to discover some of those self-talk enemies I talked about just a few moments ago.

So this all goes hand-in-hand. And the reason for that is, the stories you tell yourself about your SELF, and what you are and are not capable of, will determine the kind of actions you do and don't take.

If you don't believe deep down that you are a woman who runs her own business, for example, whenever you think about taking action that contradicts this belief, your brain is going to sense danger and want to rein you right back in. So you might be taking action and making progress, then all of a sudden you self-sabotage your efforts and find yourself right back at square one. Or you start procrastinating on moving yourself any further forth. You get the idea, right?

Your stories define who you be and who you be informs your action. So if you want to change your behavior you first need to change your story, the story of who you believe yourself to be. And on that note, I'd love to share with you some tips and strategies for shifting your negative stories and self-talk and taking action that supports the fight for your dreams, not your limitations.

Let's start with my tips for shifting your stories and in turn, shifting your mindset.

First of all, as I often say, and I think I said earlier in this podcast, awareness is key. So the first step in transforming those negative stories is becoming aware of your negative self-talk. Pay attention to the inner dialogue you are having with yourself throughout the day and notice when it turns negative, or when it makes you feel disempowered or limited in some way. When it makes you feel like you can't, won't or shouldn't do something.

When this happens, it's important to acknowledge these thoughts without judgment, without criticism or beating yourself up for having them. Simply recognize them and recognize that you are engaging in negative self-talk. There's no need to make it mean anything more. So here's an example of how to do that. Whenever you catch yourself thinking, I'm not good enough, acknowledge it by saying, “I hear you, but this really isn't true”.

And once you become aware of your negative self-talk and acknowledged it, then you can move on to the second step which is to challenge and reframe your negative thought.

So once you identify the negative self-talk, what you need to do next is challenge its validity. Ask yourself, what is the concrete evidence, evidence that leaves not a shred of doubt, that supports these thoughts? Often, you'll find that they're based on unfounded fears or assumptions, or outdated information that no longer holds true.

And a tip if you have trouble seeing past the holes in your evidence, search for all the ways the opposite of what you're telling yourself is true. So if you think you're not good enough, and you seemingly have lots of evidence for how that's true, look for evidence of the times when you were good enough.

Look in all areas of your life, far and wide, and I guarantee you that if you really look, you will find at least one piece of evidence to support how you are good enough. And if you can find just one tiny shred of evidence that is contrary to what you believe to be true, then this is proof that what you believe is not the only truth available to you.

When you can see there are alternative stories that you could tell, that your current story is not the only truth you could be loyal to, this opens the door to being able to reframe these negative thoughts into more positive, empowering statements that you can tell yourself moving forward.

For example, you might take the story, “I don't have enough experience to apply for that promotion”, and reframe it to, “Applying for this promotion is an opportunity for growth, everyone has to start somewhere to gain experience”.

Once you have a new, more empowering story to tell yourself, the next step is to use affirmations to help you ingrain this new story into your belief system. Positive affirmations are such powerful tools for rewiring your brain to adopt a more positive and supportive mindset.

So with the dream or dreams you want to fight for in mind and your new story, create a list of affirmations that resonate with your goals and aspirations. It is particularly powerful when you link these affirmations to your identity. Because when you focus on who you believe yourself to be first, the action you want to take to fight for your dreams becomes a whole lot easier to take.

So here's some examples. I am a woman who is capable and worthy of success. I am a woman who has the skills and determination to achieve my goals. I am a woman whose every step brings me closer to my dreams.

Now you want to be sure to repeat your affirmations daily, and especially when negative self-talk arises. So keep them somewhere handy. For me, I like to keep them in my calendar app on my phone, which syncs across all of my devices and so generally, I'm going to have access to one of these devices within reach.

The fourth step to shift your negative self-talk to positive self-talk is to spend some time regularly to visualize your success.

Visualization is a technique that involves creating a vivid mental image of achieving your goals. When you visualize your success, what you're doing is training your brain to believe that it's possible. And this can be very powerful in helping you shift your self-talk from doubt to confidence, for example.

I like to do an in-depth visualization to start where I really visualize in great detail what a day in my life would look like having achieved my dreams. And from there, spend a few minutes each day visualizing myself having won the battle for my dreams and living out this life. Whenever you spend time visualizing, and however much time you spend, really try to picture the details, feel the emotions, and imagine all of the positive outcomes in your life.

Tapping into your emotions here really is key, because it's never the goal itself that you're really fighting for. It's always how you will feel having won that battle. And that is actually a topic that deserves an entire episode of its own, and perhaps I'll talk about that in the coming weeks, so definitely stay tuned for that.

But coming back to my tips, the final tip I have for shifting your stories and negative self-talk and adopting a more positive mindset is to practice self-compassion.

So many of you beat yourself up constantly about everything. Listen, I've been there too and here's what I've realized. We spend 24 7 with ourselves for the entirety of our lives. We do not get a break. We are with ourselves every minute of every day as long as we're given the gift of breathing on this earth.

I know, like me, you wouldn't dream of treating the people you love like you treat yourself. You probably wouldn't even treat a complete stranger like that. If you do treat people like that you wouldn't have people in your life for very long. But you can't desert yourself. You can't just pick up and say, boy, she treats me so bad, I'm not hanging out with her anymore. Well, you can try, but you probably won't be successful. And again, ask me how I know.

So, it's time to stop with the harsh self-judgment and criticism and beating yourself up. Kicking yourself when you're down. It's time to respect and honor this woman who you are spending your entire life with whether you want to or not. It's time to treat her like the queen she deserves to be treated as. Starting today, starting right now, if you want to say it to the person you love most, don't say it to you.

It's time to be kind to yourself, especially when encountering setbacks. It's time to treat yourself with the same understanding and encouragement you would offer to your best of all friends. When things don't go as planned, remind yourself that it's okay to make mistakes. Reflect on what you can learn from it and move forward.

Remember, you get to decide what you make everything mean. You can make something that didn't go to plan mean that you are a failure, and you will never succeed, and stay stuck fighting for your limitations. Or you can make it mean that you found out one way something doesn't work, and keep on looking for the way that does, with all of the knowledge you gain.

Moving on, once you have more positive stories that support you in your fight for your dreams, you have laid the foundation for being the kind of woman who does just that and taking action accordingly. I want to offer you some tips to help you build on this foundation and start moving yourself powerfully forward in the fight for your dreams.

And tip number one is, using your new story, your “I am a woman who” affirmation statements and your visualization, spend some time to think about the version of you who has successfully fought for her dreams.

Who are you? What traits do you possess? How do you tackle challenges? Where do you spend your time? Who with? What do you value? What standards do you live by? How do you show up in your world and for yourself? What decisions do you make? And so on and so forth.

Get clear, and I mean really clear, on who the you is who has won the battle, and is living out the victory of achieving her dreams. Because once you know who she is, this is going to inform every action you take moving forward.

Tip number two is to schedule who you be onto your calendar in outcome-based time blocks or activities.

So what I mean by this is if your goal is to be a fit and healthy woman, using the identity of that version of you, think about all the things you would do in your day, the action you would take in being her. Then schedule it right onto your calendar.

If you get up at 6am so you have time for a healthy breakfast before heading to do a workout, schedule your wake up time for 6am onto your calendar. Schedule the time you need for breakfast, for a healthy breakfast, and go so far as to include your meal plan in that time slot for the day.

Schedule your workout time, including your travel time, and the time you need to shower afterwards and get dressed as the future you would dress. If the fit and healthy you spends time once a week to make a meal plan, put this into a time block on your calendar and include a note for exactly what the outcome of that time block will be.

If you shop once a week for groceries, again, put it into your calendar. If you batch cook meals, schedule the time and the outcome into your calendar. From 2pm to 4pm every Saturday, you know you will be prepping the meals for the week ahead.

What this does is it breaks down your bigger goal into much smaller manageable daily activities and habits that the future you would engage in. It puts the focus onto being first, so that you naturally do all of the things that you want to do. It removes the indecision that some of those enemy stories might try and overwhelm you with in the moment when you don't have a solid plan of action.

It helps you become so much more productive and allows you to track your progress so you can refine this as you go and look at what is and isn't working, and maybe why that is. Maybe you'll uncover a few more enemy stories in that process. And listen, I highly recommend that you do just that. Refine it as you go.

Remember, you are my work in progress, and this is a work in progress just like that. As you step into the future you through your calendar, you are going to be constantly learning about yourself and growing who you be. So be open, be flexible, and adapt your schedule as you go until it starts representing more of the you who has fought for her dreams and less of the you who is fighting for her limitations.

The last tip I want to share is to surround yourself with positive influences. As they say, like attracts like. The people you interact with can significantly impact your self-talk and who you be. Think about it. How many times do you adapt the way you speak, the kind of things you say, and the way you behave to suit the company that you're in.

Most of us do this more often than we realize, because here's the thing. If you're in the company of positive minded, successful and driven people, and you start loading the conversation with negativity, you are not going to be in their company for very long. These kind of people do not allow this kind of negativity into their world. So if you want to hang out with them, you will have to up level the kind of conversations you have.

Just like this, if you hang out in a crowd that are always talking negatively, maybe even wallowing in victim mentality behavior, nothing ever goes their way in the world is to blame kind of thinking, if you come in and start spruiking positivity, you probably won't be tolerated there for long either. And likely, if you really want to hang around, you will change the way you talk within this crowd and adopt their negative mentality which is also going to affect who you be.

So it really is important to choose very carefully who you hang out with if you want to do battle for your dreams. My recommendation is to surround yourself as much as possible with supportive, positive individuals who believe in you and your dreams. Because their encouragement can help reinforce your own positive self-talk and the identity of a woman who has successfully fought for her dreams.

If you can't be around these kind of people physically, seek them out in other ways. Podcasts, books, blogs, online communities. In the world we live in, putting yourself in the company of positive and successful people has never been easier. Join the sidelines of people who are either fighting for their dreams, or who have been successful in doing so, and you will become a much stronger fighter for your own.

So those are my tips for shifting your self-talk and your mindset to support you and being the woman who fights for her dreams, not her limitations.

The key thing I really want you to take away from today's episode is that the power of self-talk cannot be underestimated in fighting for your dreams because it can be your friend, or it can be your enemy. At the end of the day, your self-talk, your stories, informs who you be and who you be determines the action you do and don't take. You can be the woman who says no to your limitations and YES! to your dreams, and I hope this episode has inspired you to do just that.

Before I sign off, in my weekly email CREATED, I share more on my weekly podcast topics, including actionable steps I don't share here and a downloadable workbook to help you do this work. Women tell me is the weekly email that gives them A-Ha moments over their Wednesday morning latte. If you're not yet on that list, honestly my friend, you are missing out. So head on over to self creation school dot com forward slash created and grab yourself a free backstage pass today.

I'll be here for another conversation next Wednesday on creating a life you love.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what's stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love? Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what's standing in your way today and I'll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it. That's https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.