I always remember many years ago, a speaker at a conference I was attending warning the audience before opening the room to questions that the quality of your questions determines the quality of your answers.

Invariably, as there always is at such conferences, some really very poorly thought-out questions came forth. And I have to say, that speaker did a very entertaining job of giving poor quality answers in return. He had warned.

And this experience has stuck with me ever since because as humans, we tend to live in a constant state of questioning, especially when it comes to questioning ourselves and our ability to live the life we want. The thing is, often the quality of our questions we ask ourselves is really not so great. And in turn, the quality of our answers lead us to not so great outcomes.

I've seen this time and again in my own life and in the lives of countless others. I'll never forget when I became a single mom with a six-week-old baby asking myself, “What if no one will ever love me again because now I have a baby?” That question led me to a serious eating disorder because one of my answers was, “You'll only have a chance if you stay slim and trim.” Something I had long struggled with to that point. I can tell you, my eating disorder had some pretty dire outcomes.

And so over the years, here's what I found to be true. If you want to elevate the quality of your life experience, you need to elevate the quality of your questions.

High-quality questions result in high quality answers. And high-quality answers will help you create a high-quality life. The right questions have the power to turn problems into possibilities. The right questions have the power to make your limits limitless. My friend, the right questions have the power to transform your entire life experience.

And some of the poorest quality questions we tend to ask ourselves start with those two simple words I mentioned just a moment ago – ‘what if’. Yet those same two words can also begin the questions that change your world.

So today, I want to share with you 10 common ‘what if’ questions that are holding you back and offer you some alternative ‘what if’ questions that will steer you in the direction of your wildest dreams. Let's dive in.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello there, and welcome to today's episode of The Self-Creation School podcast. This is a place to listen in every Wednesday if you are a woman who is ready to say YES! to a wildly fulfilling love affair with your life. Each week, I share my Self-Creation secrets with doing exactly that, one YES! at a time.

I've had today's conversation on my list for some time. And I felt like it really aligned with my current energy this week because alongside recording this episode and doing all of my usual business things within The Self-Creation School, I am getting packed for a two-month trip to Thailand, where my husband and I are going to be living in the question of slow travel.

Since we moved to Europe, we have traveled almost constantly, and our trips tend to be very full on. We pack a lot into each place we visit, and we've kind of traveled with a mindset of wanting, or perhaps needing, to see it all. Earlier this year we realized that, aside from becoming exhausted, exploring the world like this wasn't the elevated experience that we desired it to be. It also took me away from my work as a coach and The Self-Creation School for much longer than I wanted.

So, we decided to try the concept of slow travel, which for us means taking longer trips to fewer places, and balancing sightseeing and relaxation with my work. And I know when we were discussing how the kind of travel we were doing wasn't working for us, the questions we asked ourselves were questions like, “What if we could do this differently?” “What if we didn't need to rush?” “What if we could spend longer?” “What if we didn't need to see it all, or do it all?”

And our answers to those kinds of questions are why we are now Thailand bound for two whole months. I have to say, we both love Thailand a lot. So, we are very excited, and let's see where our answers lead us. Which brings me to what I wanted to talk about today, and the question of your questions.

Heading off on this very different style trip has reminded me just how powerful the simple ‘what if’ questions can be. Asking ourselves good quality ‘what if’ questions opened the door to all kinds of possibilities and helped give us clarity and direction around our travel.

But we could have so easily let poor quality ‘what ifs’ hold us back, because these are the kind of what ifs that most of us default to when we push the edges of our norms. And indeed, the very first question that came up for me personally around this was, “What if I can't travel and build my business at the same time?” Immediately, the door to possibility is slammed shut.

But I decided a long time ago that I am a woman who does not indulge herself in negative ‘what ifs’. And it's my hope in having this conversation with you today, that you will decide to be that woman too.

So I'm going to share with you 10 of the most common ‘what if’ questions I see come up for the women I work with, and for me too, that might also be stopping you from living in the question of what's possible. And I'll offer you some alternative, higher quality ‘what if’ questions that can steer you towards a higher quality life you dream of.

Let's hold nothing back and kick this off with a big one. ‘What if’ number one is the question of “What if I'm not good enough.”

This is a question I hear from so many women, and honestly, I've asked myself this question more times than I can count. It's a kind of ‘what if’ that can and will stop you in your tracks. And usually, it comes from a deep belief that somehow you don't measure up, that you're inadequate in some way.

Now when this question pops up, it's really just your brain trying to protect you by stopping you from doing something new, so that you don't risk finding out you're not good enough.

Listen, your brain's job is to keep you safe, and that includes protecting you from emotional pain. So when you think, “What if I'm not good enough?”, your brain is actually trying to keep you from feeling the hurt of failing or falling short.

But that means you could be standing at the edge of something amazing. Something you're fully capable of doing, or something that you are fully capable of learning to do. And instead of stepping forward, this question pulls you back, because it makes you doubt your ability to succeed. It keeps you playing small, and it prevents you from going after the life you really want.

But the truth is this, you don't have to be perfect to start. You don't need all the answers right now. You can learn and grow as you go. That's how growth works. It happens along the way, not before you begin.

Ask an elite athlete how they became good enough to win gold at the Olympics. Ask someone who has learned a second language how they became good enough to hold an everyday conversation. I guarantee they were not good enough to do these things when they began. But they were good enough to begin learning how to be good enough.

So instead of asking yourself, “What if I'm not good enough?”, let me offer you some better questions to ask. “What if you are good enough?” “What if you already have everything you need to succeed?” “What if you can learn and grow as you go?” “What if you just need to be good enough to begin?”

When you shift your mindset to focus on your potential instead of your perceived shortcomings, you will open the door to possibility my friend. The truth is you are more capable than you realize, and the very act of beginning is what allows you to become the woman who can achieve her dreams.

Every journey starts with that first step, even when you don't feel fully ready. But that's exactly how you grow into the person who is ready and who is good enough to achieve whatever it is you want. You don't have to be perfect to start. You just have to start. What if you will be good enough to simply start?

‘What if’ number two is another really big one for so many of us, “What if I fail?” This is a question that also can and will stop you before you even get started. The fear of failure is one of the most common reasons why we stay stuck, and I get it. No one likes the idea of falling flat on their face, including me.

But here's what I want you to remember about failure. Failure is not the opposite of success. Failure is part of the success process. Every successful person I know has faced failure along the way. Failure is how we learn to succeed. The secret is to fail fast and to fail forward. Meaning to learn from how you haven't been successful at something and get back up, dust yourself off and use that knowledge to help you try something new.

Here's what I found to be true about your chances of success. The only way you can be 100 percent sure to never succeed, is to never start. And the reality is my friend, you get to decide what you make failure mean. You can make it mean that you haven't succeeded and so therefore you never will. Or you can make it mean that you are one step closer to finding the way that works.

So long as you indulge yourself in the question of “What if I fail?”, you will focus on all the possible negative outcomes, all the ways things could go wrong, all the ways something can't or won't work. But if you are truly interested in succeeding, try asking yourself these questions instead. “What if you can't fail?” “What if you succeed beyond your wildest dreams?” “What if you don't try and miss out on the life of your dreams?” “What if failure is the ticket to your success?”

Remember, when you don't take action because you're afraid of failure, you're actually guaranteed failure because doing nothing ensures that you'll never have the chance to succeed. You don't have to have it all figured out. The key is to taking bold action, learning as you go, and trusting that each step, whether it feels like a win or a lesson, is bringing you closer to the life you truly want.

If you don't try, you risk missing out on the life you dream of, the one you can absolutely create for yourself, if you are willing to learn from the things that don't work out, so you can eventually find the things that do. So let me ask you again, what if you can't fail? What if success is right on the other side of your fear? What if the real risk is in staying stuck?

Now, ‘what if’ number three is, “What if I get it wrong?” This is highlighting a fear that you're going to make the wrong choice, take the wrong path, or make a mistake that will set you back. But once again, getting it wrong, is how we often find what's right. So this is very closely related to the concept of failing that we just discussed.

And once again, the reality is life isn't a straight line from point A to point B. There's no single right way to do things. And there's no map that guarantees you always get it right the first time. Sometimes we need to learn the things that are wrong for us to discover the things that are right.

I often work with women who are stuck telling themselves they don't know what kind of life would feel right to them. They don't know the right direction to take. But they can sure tell me what they don't want, what kind of life feels wrong. And it's like this, you cannot know happiness unless you also know unhappiness. You cannot know calm unless you also know chaos. We need to see both sides of the coin to be able to experience either side of the coin.

Getting it wrong can be the thing that leads you to what's right. In which case, is that really a bad thing? Is it wrong if it's necessary to getting to what's right? So if this what if question comes up for you, try these questions instead. “What if you can't get this wrong?” “What if this leads you to what's right?” “What if there is no wrong or right?” “What if getting it wrong doesn't matter?”

When you let go of the need for perfection, by the way, of making a perfect decision at the outset each and every time, you open yourself up to learning so much more about you and the things that are in fact not right for you and your life. Remember, every step you take is valuable, even if it's not exactly what you expected. You don't need to always get it right. You can instead trust that whatever happens, you're on the right path for you.

Now, these first three what ifs I've covered are all rooted in internal fears. The fear of not being good enough, the fear of failure, the fear of making mistakes, these are the kind of fears that will keep you firmly stuck. But none of these fears are final unless you decide they are final. You can move through them by shifting your mindset and focusing on what's possible rather than what could go wrong. And you can do that by changing your what if questions.

So, ‘what if’ question number four is, “What if it takes too long?” This often comes up when you set your sights on something big, when you set out to achieve something meaningful or life changing that is likely going to require an investment of time and energy without seeing any immediate results.

This can really make you hesitate and question if it's a wise move to use your time in this way because deep down we all know time is a limited resource. We don't get it back and we only have so much, am I right? But here's what I want you to consider. Worthwhile dreams often take time to unfold and the journey itself, the process of learning, growing and evolving is what makes the destination so rewarding.

So, instead of worrying about how long it might take and getting caught up in the whole “What if it takes too long?” question, try asking yourself these questions. “What if it takes exactly as long as it needs to, or as it is meant to?” “What if every step along the way is worth it?” “What if the time spent on the journey is what makes this so rewarding?”

When you shift your focus from the outcome to the process, you start to see the value in every small step, in every hour of time you spend. You understand that each step forward, no matter how long it takes, is an investment in your growth and in creating the life you truly desire.

My friend, the journey itself is where the magic happens. It's where you learn, transform, and ultimately create a life that feels deeply fulfilling. And remember, time will pass no matter what, so wouldn't you rather spend it building towards something extraordinary?

And closely related to that ‘what if’, is “What if I waste my time?” This can be a big fear for so many of us, particularly as we start to see the years of our life adding up, and we find ourselves wanting to make the most of our time and make it really count for something.

So the idea of pouring time into something and not seeing the results you hoped for can be something that makes you hesitate, can make you second-guess yourself and ultimately avoid taking action altogether.

But if there's one investment of time I don't think you can ever go wrong with, it's time spent investing in yourself and your personal growth. And even if the outcome isn't exactly what you imagine, every moment you spend living in the question of what's possible for you in your lifetime is going to help you grow who you be. And isn't that the ultimate fulfillment in life? To become everything we can be.

So instead of asking, “What if I waste my time?”, try asking yourself these questions. “What if this is the best use of your time?” “What if every moment you spend on this is an investment in yourself?” “What if every hour spent is bringing you closer to the life you want?”

Remember we talked about sometimes needing to find out the ways that don't work for us to find out the ways that do. And you'll discover those in-between moments are in the end often the most meaningful. When you look back, you'll see that no time was wasted. Every moment was part of the process that got you to where you are.

Moving on, and ‘what if’ number six is, “What if this isn't for me?” It's the age-old question, right? Wanting to be sure that the thing we want to do is going to be right for us because we don't want to get it wrong, we don't want to waste our time. That would mean we failed, and that would mean we're not good enough.

Can you see how a lot of these ‘what ifs’ actually play together? Honestly, your ‘what if’ questions are very revealing in terms of the underlying limiting stories you might be telling yourself that are holding you back from living your most fully expressed life.

So, “What if this isn't for me?” Well, the reality is, you'll never know for sure until you give it a try. You could be standing right in front of something that's exactly what you've been searching for. But if you never take that first step, you'll never know and you'll always wonder.

So instead of asking, “What if this isn't for me?”, consider asking yourself, “What if it is for you?” “What if it's exactly what you've been searching for?” “What if trying is the only way to truly know?” “What if it isn't for you, but it leads you to what is?”

And give yourself permission to explore the possibilities. Once again, remember, the journey itself is valuable, even if the outcome isn't what you expected. It's in the trying, in the discovery, that you often find the answers you've been looking for all along. You really don't have to have it all figured out before you begin. Trust that the path you follow will eventually lead you to where you want to go.

And these last three ‘what ifs’ are very much grounded in fears about time, effort, and whether the path you're on truly aligns with who you are. What if it takes too long, what if I waste my time, and what if this isn't for me, they're all rooted in that desire to make the most of the time we have, to invest in the right things, and to ensure that our efforts truly matter.

So before we move on, here's what I want you to remember. No time spent investing in yourself and exploring your potential is ever wasted. Whether it takes longer than you thought, whether the journey looks different from what you expected, or whether the first thing you try isn't the exact right fit, every step you take is progress. It's all part of figuring out who you are and what you truly want. And that's how you ultimately create the life you dream of.

If you ever find yourself caught up in ‘what ifs’ about time or effort, try shifting your perspective and ask higher quality questions that will help you focus on the possibilities, not the fears.

Now, let's move on to ‘what if’ number seven, “What if I don't deserve this?” This is one of those deep-seated fears that comes up when we think about achieving something big or fulfilling our wildest dreams. It's the idea that somehow you haven't earned it, or you're not worthy of the success or happiness you desire. And it can be incredibly limiting because it keeps you from fully embracing what's possible for you.

So let's set this straight. Your worthiness is not actually up for debate. You don't have to prove your worth in order to deserve the life you want. Your dreams, your passions, these are gifts and pursuing them is not only for your own fulfillment but also for the positive impact you can have on the world in doing so.

So instead of asking “What if I don't deserve this?”, try asking yourself “What if you do deserve this and so much more?” “What if your worthiness isn't up for debate?” “What if this is meant for you?”

Listen, I struggled big time over the years with feeling worthy, and there comes a time when you just have to realize that your worthiness isn't something that needs validation from others. It's inherent. It exists because you exist. End of story.

My friend, you deserve to go after what lights you up simply because it's yours to claim. And by doing so, you give others permission to do the same. When you chase your dreams, you're not just creating a life you love, you're showing the world what's possible.

Okay, now we are down to the last three ‘what ifs’, and ‘what if’ number eight is “What if people judge me?” The good old fear of judgment. It's something we all experience at some point, am I right? We worry about what others will think, whether they'll approve, or if they'll criticize us. And this fear can be incredibly stifling. It keeps us from showing up authentically, from pursuing what we really want and from living on our terms.

Here's what I know about this. People will judge you and their opinions are not something that you can control. What you can control is how much weight you give to them. At the end of the day, you are the one who has to live your life 24/7. And it's your one life. The people who judge you do not live with the consequences of judging you. But you do, if you allow their judgment to stop you from doing, having, and experiencing what could be truly remarkable in your lifetime.

So instead of asking yourself, “What if people judge me?”, try asking yourself “What if they do and what if their opinions didn't matter?” “What if you did it anyway?” “What if you inspired others to follow their dreams too?”

Because this is the other thing I've seen play out. When you live authentically and pursue what lights you up, you not only create a life that's true to you, but you also give others permission to do the same. You might be surprised at how many people you inspire just by showing up as your true self. Remember, your life is yours to live, not anyone else's. So why not live it out on your terms?

And following closely from that, is ‘what if’ number nine, “What if people don't approve?” Listen, we all crave approval on some level, and it's natural to want others to agree or support what we're doing. But when you rely on that external approval to dictate what you can and can't do, or what you should and shouldn't do, you start making choices based on other people's opinions instead of what truly makes you happy.

And remember, we just talked about other people's opinions. You don't need anyone else's approval to live the life you want. Your happiness and success are not dependent on what others think.

So instead of worrying about who might not approve, try asking yourself, “What if you no longer needed the approval of others?” “What if their approval has nothing to do with your happiness or chances of success?” “What if the only thing that matters is if you approve?”

When you let go of the need for external validation, honestly, you free yourself to live for you. And here's the funny thing. When you start living authentically, the people who matter most are often the ones who end up supporting you anyway. Self-approval is the only kind of approval you truly need, my friend. Trust yourself and prioritize your own joy. That's where true liberation lies.

And finally, we've come to ‘what if’ number 10, “What if I disappoint others or let them down?” This is a tough one because it's so easy to get caught up in worrying about what other people think, especially the people we care about the most. We don't want to let them down or disappoint them with our choices. So we end up sacrificing our own dreams, happiness, and fulfillment in the process.

But like I said a moment ago, the only person who has to live with the consequences of your decisions is you. And if you spend your life making decisions based on avoiding disappointment, you likely end up disappointing yourself.

So instead of asking “What if I disappoint others?”, try asking yourself, “What if you disappoint yourself, or let yourself down, by not going after what you truly want in your one precious lifetime?” “What if prioritizing your happiness allows others to do the same?” “What if those who truly matter will support your decisions either way?”

I really cannot say this enough because I think it's something so many of us forget. When you chase after what lights you up and stay true to your desires, you give the people around you permission to do the same. Your happiness can be a catalyst for others to pursue their own joy. And the people who truly love and respect you? They will support you because they do deep down want you to be happy too.

At the end of the day, the biggest disappointment you'll feel when you look back on your life is not from letting others down, but from letting yourself down by not living the life you wanted.

These last few ‘what ifs’ are all rooted in externally outsourcing your life and your happiness. But my friend, you are an inside job. Your life is, at the core of things, your one and only job. Your happiness and your outcomes are not the responsibility of others. And if you want to create a life that you love living every minute of, you must take personal responsibility for doing so.

The only thing that truly matters is what you think of you, whether you approve of you, and whether you make you happy. Every single one of us has that one job to do.

So, those are the 10 most common ‘what ifs’ I've come across in my work that stop women becoming who they could be, and living the life they could live, if they just ask themselves higher quality questions.

And every single one of those 10 ‘what if’ questions comes down to one thing. Your SELF Wealth. Things like self-confidence, self-belief, self-trust, self-worth. It's something I talk a lot about, because without SELF Wealth, you will never be the star of your own show and you will continue to play out a life story that simply isn't your own. And that's not why you were placed on this earth, my friend.

Asking yourself higher quality ‘what ifs’ will help not only protect your SELF Wealth but build it as you discover that your answers do in fact lead you to a life that is everything you dream of. A life that feels like you, like home. I have to say, there is no greater feeling in the world than a life that fits you like a glove.

So next time you find yourself asking a negative ‘what if’, I invite you to ask yourself a new question. A question that opens doors, that sparks possibility, and that leads you closer to a life that feels like you. Remember, you don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to start. So go ahead, say YES! to you, say YES! to your dreams, and trust that the path will unfold exactly as it's meant to.

Thanks so much for joining me today. I'll be back with another episode to help you create a life you love same time, same place, next Wednesday.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what's stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love?

Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what's standing in your way today and I'll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it.

That's https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.

I always remember many years ago, a speaker at a conference I was attending warning the audience before opening the room to questions that the quality of your questions determines the quality of your answers.

Invariably, as there always is at such conferences, some really very poorly thought-out questions came forth. And I have to say, that speaker did a very entertaining job of giving poor quality answers in return. He had warned.

And this experience has stuck with me ever since because as humans, we tend to live in a constant state of questioning, especially when it comes to questioning ourselves and our ability to live the life we want. The thing is, often the quality of our questions we ask ourselves is really not so great. And in turn, the quality of our answers lead us to not so great outcomes.

I've seen this time and again in my own life and in the lives of countless others. I'll never forget when I became a single mom with a six-week-old baby asking myself, “What if no one will ever love me again because now I have a baby?” That question led me to a serious eating disorder because one of my answers was, “You'll only have a chance if you stay slim and trim.” Something I had long struggled with to that point. I can tell you, my eating disorder had some pretty dire outcomes.

And so over the years, here's what I found to be true. If you want to elevate the quality of your life experience, you need to elevate the quality of your questions.

High-quality questions result in high quality answers. And high-quality answers will help you create a high-quality life. The right questions have the power to turn problems into possibilities. The right questions have the power to make your limits limitless. My friend, the right questions have the power to transform your entire life experience.

And some of the poorest quality questions we tend to ask ourselves start with those two simple words I mentioned just a moment ago – ‘what if’. Yet those same two words can also begin the questions that change your world.

So today, I want to share with you 10 common ‘what if’ questions that are holding you back and offer you some alternative ‘what if’ questions that will steer you in the direction of your wildest dreams. Let's dive in.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello there, and welcome to today's episode of The Self-Creation School podcast. This is a place to listen in every Wednesday if you are a woman who is ready to say YES! to a wildly fulfilling love affair with your life. Each week, I share my Self-Creation secrets with doing exactly that, one YES! at a time.

I've had today's conversation on my list for some time. And I felt like it really aligned with my current energy this week because alongside recording this episode and doing all of my usual business things within The Self-Creation School, I am getting packed for a two-month trip to Thailand, where my husband and I are going to be living in the question of slow travel.

Since we moved to Europe, we have traveled almost constantly, and our trips tend to be very full on. We pack a lot into each place we visit, and we've kind of traveled with a mindset of wanting, or perhaps needing, to see it all. Earlier this year we realized that, aside from becoming exhausted, exploring the world like this wasn't the elevated experience that we desired it to be. It also took me away from my work as a coach and The Self-Creation School for much longer than I wanted.

So, we decided to try the concept of slow travel, which for us means taking longer trips to fewer places, and balancing sightseeing and relaxation with my work. And I know when we were discussing how the kind of travel we were doing wasn't working for us, the questions we asked ourselves were questions like, “What if we could do this differently?” “What if we didn't need to rush?” “What if we could spend longer?” “What if we didn't need to see it all, or do it all?”

And our answers to those kinds of questions are why we are now Thailand bound for two whole months. I have to say, we both love Thailand a lot. So, we are very excited, and let's see where our answers lead us. Which brings me to what I wanted to talk about today, and the question of your questions.

Heading off on this very different style trip has reminded me just how powerful the simple ‘what if’ questions can be. Asking ourselves good quality ‘what if’ questions opened the door to all kinds of possibilities and helped give us clarity and direction around our travel.

But we could have so easily let poor quality ‘what ifs’ hold us back, because these are the kind of what ifs that most of us default to when we push the edges of our norms. And indeed, the very first question that came up for me personally around this was, “What if I can't travel and build my business at the same time?” Immediately, the door to possibility is slammed shut.

But I decided a long time ago that I am a woman who does not indulge herself in negative ‘what ifs’. And it's my hope in having this conversation with you today, that you will decide to be that woman too.

So I'm going to share with you 10 of the most common ‘what if’ questions I see come up for the women I work with, and for me too, that might also be stopping you from living in the question of what's possible. And I'll offer you some alternative, higher quality ‘what if’ questions that can steer you towards a higher quality life you dream of.

Let's hold nothing back and kick this off with a big one. ‘What if’ number one is the question of “What if I'm not good enough.”

This is a question I hear from so many women, and honestly, I've asked myself this question more times than I can count. It's a kind of ‘what if’ that can and will stop you in your tracks. And usually, it comes from a deep belief that somehow you don't measure up, that you're inadequate in some way.

Now when this question pops up, it's really just your brain trying to protect you by stopping you from doing something new, so that you don't risk finding out you're not good enough.

Listen, your brain's job is to keep you safe, and that includes protecting you from emotional pain. So when you think, “What if I'm not good enough?”, your brain is actually trying to keep you from feeling the hurt of failing or falling short.

But that means you could be standing at the edge of something amazing. Something you're fully capable of doing, or something that you are fully capable of learning to do. And instead of stepping forward, this question pulls you back, because it makes you doubt your ability to succeed. It keeps you playing small, and it prevents you from going after the life you really want.

But the truth is this, you don't have to be perfect to start. You don't need all the answers right now. You can learn and grow as you go. That's how growth works. It happens along the way, not before you begin.

Ask an elite athlete how they became good enough to win gold at the Olympics. Ask someone who has learned a second language how they became good enough to hold an everyday conversation. I guarantee they were not good enough to do these things when they began. But they were good enough to begin learning how to be good enough.

So instead of asking yourself, “What if I'm not good enough?”, let me offer you some better questions to ask. “What if you are good enough?” “What if you already have everything you need to succeed?” “What if you can learn and grow as you go?” “What if you just need to be good enough to begin?”

When you shift your mindset to focus on your potential instead of your perceived shortcomings, you will open the door to possibility my friend. The truth is you are more capable than you realize, and the very act of beginning is what allows you to become the woman who can achieve her dreams.

Every journey starts with that first step, even when you don't feel fully ready. But that's exactly how you grow into the person who is ready and who is good enough to achieve whatever it is you want. You don't have to be perfect to start. You just have to start. What if you will be good enough to simply start?

‘What if’ number two is another really big one for so many of us, “What if I fail?” This is a question that also can and will stop you before you even get started. The fear of failure is one of the most common reasons why we stay stuck, and I get it. No one likes the idea of falling flat on their face, including me.

But here's what I want you to remember about failure. Failure is not the opposite of success. Failure is part of the success process. Every successful person I know has faced failure along the way. Failure is how we learn to succeed. The secret is to fail fast and to fail forward. Meaning to learn from how you haven't been successful at something and get back up, dust yourself off and use that knowledge to help you try something new.

Here's what I found to be true about your chances of success. The only way you can be 100 percent sure to never succeed, is to never start. And the reality is my friend, you get to decide what you make failure mean. You can make it mean that you haven't succeeded and so therefore you never will. Or you can make it mean that you are one step closer to finding the way that works.

So long as you indulge yourself in the question of “What if I fail?”, you will focus on all the possible negative outcomes, all the ways things could go wrong, all the ways something can't or won't work. But if you are truly interested in succeeding, try asking yourself these questions instead. “What if you can't fail?” “What if you succeed beyond your wildest dreams?” “What if you don't try and miss out on the life of your dreams?” “What if failure is the ticket to your success?”

Remember, when you don't take action because you're afraid of failure, you're actually guaranteed failure because doing nothing ensures that you'll never have the chance to succeed. You don't have to have it all figured out. The key is to taking bold action, learning as you go, and trusting that each step, whether it feels like a win or a lesson, is bringing you closer to the life you truly want.

If you don't try, you risk missing out on the life you dream of, the one you can absolutely create for yourself, if you are willing to learn from the things that don't work out, so you can eventually find the things that do. So let me ask you again, what if you can't fail? What if success is right on the other side of your fear? What if the real risk is in staying stuck?

Now, ‘what if’ number three is, “What if I get it wrong?” This is highlighting a fear that you're going to make the wrong choice, take the wrong path, or make a mistake that will set you back. But once again, getting it wrong, is how we often find what's right. So this is very closely related to the concept of failing that we just discussed.

And once again, the reality is life isn't a straight line from point A to point B. There's no single right way to do things. And there's no map that guarantees you always get it right the first time. Sometimes we need to learn the things that are wrong for us to discover the things that are right.

I often work with women who are stuck telling themselves they don't know what kind of life would feel right to them. They don't know the right direction to take. But they can sure tell me what they don't want, what kind of life feels wrong. And it's like this, you cannot know happiness unless you also know unhappiness. You cannot know calm unless you also know chaos. We need to see both sides of the coin to be able to experience either side of the coin.

Getting it wrong can be the thing that leads you to what's right. In which case, is that really a bad thing? Is it wrong if it's necessary to getting to what's right? So if this what if question comes up for you, try these questions instead. “What if you can't get this wrong?” “What if this leads you to what's right?” “What if there is no wrong or right?” “What if getting it wrong doesn't matter?”

When you let go of the need for perfection, by the way, of making a perfect decision at the outset each and every time, you open yourself up to learning so much more about you and the things that are in fact not right for you and your life. Remember, every step you take is valuable, even if it's not exactly what you expected. You don't need to always get it right. You can instead trust that whatever happens, you're on the right path for you.

Now, these first three what ifs I've covered are all rooted in internal fears. The fear of not being good enough, the fear of failure, the fear of making mistakes, these are the kind of fears that will keep you firmly stuck. But none of these fears are final unless you decide they are final. You can move through them by shifting your mindset and focusing on what's possible rather than what could go wrong. And you can do that by changing your what if questions.

So, ‘what if’ question number four is, “What if it takes too long?” This often comes up when you set your sights on something big, when you set out to achieve something meaningful or life changing that is likely going to require an investment of time and energy without seeing any immediate results.

This can really make you hesitate and question if it's a wise move to use your time in this way because deep down we all know time is a limited resource. We don't get it back and we only have so much, am I right? But here's what I want you to consider. Worthwhile dreams often take time to unfold and the journey itself, the process of learning, growing and evolving is what makes the destination so rewarding.

So, instead of worrying about how long it might take and getting caught up in the whole “What if it takes too long?” question, try asking yourself these questions. “What if it takes exactly as long as it needs to, or as it is meant to?” “What if every step along the way is worth it?” “What if the time spent on the journey is what makes this so rewarding?”

When you shift your focus from the outcome to the process, you start to see the value in every small step, in every hour of time you spend. You understand that each step forward, no matter how long it takes, is an investment in your growth and in creating the life you truly desire.

My friend, the journey itself is where the magic happens. It's where you learn, transform, and ultimately create a life that feels deeply fulfilling. And remember, time will pass no matter what, so wouldn't you rather spend it building towards something extraordinary?

And closely related to that ‘what if’, is “What if I waste my time?” This can be a big fear for so many of us, particularly as we start to see the years of our life adding up, and we find ourselves wanting to make the most of our time and make it really count for something.

So the idea of pouring time into something and not seeing the results you hoped for can be something that makes you hesitate, can make you second-guess yourself and ultimately avoid taking action altogether.

But if there's one investment of time I don't think you can ever go wrong with, it's time spent investing in yourself and your personal growth. And even if the outcome isn't exactly what you imagine, every moment you spend living in the question of what's possible for you in your lifetime is going to help you grow who you be. And isn't that the ultimate fulfillment in life? To become everything we can be.

So instead of asking, “What if I waste my time?”, try asking yourself these questions. “What if this is the best use of your time?” “What if every moment you spend on this is an investment in yourself?” “What if every hour spent is bringing you closer to the life you want?”

Remember we talked about sometimes needing to find out the ways that don't work for us to find out the ways that do. And you'll discover those in-between moments are in the end often the most meaningful. When you look back, you'll see that no time was wasted. Every moment was part of the process that got you to where you are.

Moving on, and ‘what if’ number six is, “What if this isn't for me?” It's the age-old question, right? Wanting to be sure that the thing we want to do is going to be right for us because we don't want to get it wrong, we don't want to waste our time. That would mean we failed, and that would mean we're not good enough.

Can you see how a lot of these ‘what ifs’ actually play together? Honestly, your ‘what if’ questions are very revealing in terms of the underlying limiting stories you might be telling yourself that are holding you back from living your most fully expressed life.

So, “What if this isn't for me?” Well, the reality is, you'll never know for sure until you give it a try. You could be standing right in front of something that's exactly what you've been searching for. But if you never take that first step, you'll never know and you'll always wonder.

So instead of asking, “What if this isn't for me?”, consider asking yourself, “What if it is for you?” “What if it's exactly what you've been searching for?” “What if trying is the only way to truly know?” “What if it isn't for you, but it leads you to what is?”

And give yourself permission to explore the possibilities. Once again, remember, the journey itself is valuable, even if the outcome isn't what you expected. It's in the trying, in the discovery, that you often find the answers you've been looking for all along. You really don't have to have it all figured out before you begin. Trust that the path you follow will eventually lead you to where you want to go.

And these last three ‘what ifs’ are very much grounded in fears about time, effort, and whether the path you're on truly aligns with who you are. What if it takes too long, what if I waste my time, and what if this isn't for me, they're all rooted in that desire to make the most of the time we have, to invest in the right things, and to ensure that our efforts truly matter.

So before we move on, here's what I want you to remember. No time spent investing in yourself and exploring your potential is ever wasted. Whether it takes longer than you thought, whether the journey looks different from what you expected, or whether the first thing you try isn't the exact right fit, every step you take is progress. It's all part of figuring out who you are and what you truly want. And that's how you ultimately create the life you dream of.

If you ever find yourself caught up in ‘what ifs’ about time or effort, try shifting your perspective and ask higher quality questions that will help you focus on the possibilities, not the fears.

Now, let's move on to ‘what if’ number seven, “What if I don't deserve this?” This is one of those deep-seated fears that comes up when we think about achieving something big or fulfilling our wildest dreams. It's the idea that somehow you haven't earned it, or you're not worthy of the success or happiness you desire. And it can be incredibly limiting because it keeps you from fully embracing what's possible for you.

So let's set this straight. Your worthiness is not actually up for debate. You don't have to prove your worth in order to deserve the life you want. Your dreams, your passions, these are gifts and pursuing them is not only for your own fulfillment but also for the positive impact you can have on the world in doing so.

So instead of asking “What if I don't deserve this?”, try asking yourself “What if you do deserve this and so much more?” “What if your worthiness isn't up for debate?” “What if this is meant for you?”

Listen, I struggled big time over the years with feeling worthy, and there comes a time when you just have to realize that your worthiness isn't something that needs validation from others. It's inherent. It exists because you exist. End of story.

My friend, you deserve to go after what lights you up simply because it's yours to claim. And by doing so, you give others permission to do the same. When you chase your dreams, you're not just creating a life you love, you're showing the world what's possible.

Okay, now we are down to the last three ‘what ifs’, and ‘what if’ number eight is “What if people judge me?” The good old fear of judgment. It's something we all experience at some point, am I right? We worry about what others will think, whether they'll approve, or if they'll criticize us. And this fear can be incredibly stifling. It keeps us from showing up authentically, from pursuing what we really want and from living on our terms.

Here's what I know about this. People will judge you and their opinions are not something that you can control. What you can control is how much weight you give to them. At the end of the day, you are the one who has to live your life 24/7. And it's your one life. The people who judge you do not live with the consequences of judging you. But you do, if you allow their judgment to stop you from doing, having, and experiencing what could be truly remarkable in your lifetime.

So instead of asking yourself, “What if people judge me?”, try asking yourself “What if they do and what if their opinions didn't matter?” “What if you did it anyway?” “What if you inspired others to follow their dreams too?”

Because this is the other thing I've seen play out. When you live authentically and pursue what lights you up, you not only create a life that's true to you, but you also give others permission to do the same. You might be surprised at how many people you inspire just by showing up as your true self. Remember, your life is yours to live, not anyone else's. So why not live it out on your terms?

And following closely from that, is ‘what if’ number nine, “What if people don't approve?” Listen, we all crave approval on some level, and it's natural to want others to agree or support what we're doing. But when you rely on that external approval to dictate what you can and can't do, or what you should and shouldn't do, you start making choices based on other people's opinions instead of what truly makes you happy.

And remember, we just talked about other people's opinions. You don't need anyone else's approval to live the life you want. Your happiness and success are not dependent on what others think.

So instead of worrying about who might not approve, try asking yourself, “What if you no longer needed the approval of others?” “What if their approval has nothing to do with your happiness or chances of success?” “What if the only thing that matters is if you approve?”

When you let go of the need for external validation, honestly, you free yourself to live for you. And here's the funny thing. When you start living authentically, the people who matter most are often the ones who end up supporting you anyway. Self-approval is the only kind of approval you truly need, my friend. Trust yourself and prioritize your own joy. That's where true liberation lies.

And finally, we've come to ‘what if’ number 10, “What if I disappoint others or let them down?” This is a tough one because it's so easy to get caught up in worrying about what other people think, especially the people we care about the most. We don't want to let them down or disappoint them with our choices. So we end up sacrificing our own dreams, happiness, and fulfillment in the process.

But like I said a moment ago, the only person who has to live with the consequences of your decisions is you. And if you spend your life making decisions based on avoiding disappointment, you likely end up disappointing yourself.

So instead of asking “What if I disappoint others?”, try asking yourself, “What if you disappoint yourself, or let yourself down, by not going after what you truly want in your one precious lifetime?” “What if prioritizing your happiness allows others to do the same?” “What if those who truly matter will support your decisions either way?”

I really cannot say this enough because I think it's something so many of us forget. When you chase after what lights you up and stay true to your desires, you give the people around you permission to do the same. Your happiness can be a catalyst for others to pursue their own joy. And the people who truly love and respect you? They will support you because they do deep down want you to be happy too.

At the end of the day, the biggest disappointment you'll feel when you look back on your life is not from letting others down, but from letting yourself down by not living the life you wanted.

These last few ‘what ifs’ are all rooted in externally outsourcing your life and your happiness. But my friend, you are an inside job. Your life is, at the core of things, your one and only job. Your happiness and your outcomes are not the responsibility of others. And if you want to create a life that you love living every minute of, you must take personal responsibility for doing so.

The only thing that truly matters is what you think of you, whether you approve of you, and whether you make you happy. Every single one of us has that one job to do.

So, those are the 10 most common ‘what ifs’ I've come across in my work that stop women becoming who they could be, and living the life they could live, if they just ask themselves higher quality questions.

And every single one of those 10 ‘what if’ questions comes down to one thing. Your SELF Wealth. Things like self-confidence, self-belief, self-trust, self-worth. It's something I talk a lot about, because without SELF Wealth, you will never be the star of your own show and you will continue to play out a life story that simply isn't your own. And that's not why you were placed on this earth, my friend.

Asking yourself higher quality ‘what ifs’ will help not only protect your SELF Wealth but build it as you discover that your answers do in fact lead you to a life that is everything you dream of. A life that feels like you, like home. I have to say, there is no greater feeling in the world than a life that fits you like a glove.

So next time you find yourself asking a negative ‘what if’, I invite you to ask yourself a new question. A question that opens doors, that sparks possibility, and that leads you closer to a life that feels like you. Remember, you don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to start. So go ahead, say YES! to you, say YES! to your dreams, and trust that the path will unfold exactly as it's meant to.

Thanks so much for joining me today. I'll be back with another episode to help you create a life you love same time, same place, next Wednesday.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what's stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love?

Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what's standing in your way today and I'll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it.

That's https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.