It’s easy to think that the formula for any kind of success, whether it’s career, business, financial, health, even emotional, is simply about having the right strategy and just staying motivated and disciplined. But the truth is the people you surround yourself with play a massive role in whether you’re moving forward, staying stuck, or even unknowingly holding yourself back.

And most people don’t realize just how much their inner circle influences, not only what they believe is possible, but also their ability to make it possible and how quickly they’re able to do so.

Think about it. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who made you feel unstoppable? Just by being around them, you suddenly saw things differently and felt more capable. And on the flip side, have you ever shared a dream with someone, and their response made you second-guess everything? Maybe they didn’t outright say that’s impossible, but their energy, their skepticism, their sideways smirk, or even their silence planted a seed of doubt.

But your circle of influence isn’t just about who you spend time engaging with physically. It’s about who’s shaping your thoughts, beliefs, and actions every single day across all touch-points.

It’s the people you have two-way interactions with in your physical environment. So those direct interactions with people like your family, friends, and work colleagues.

And also, the people you have a one-way conversation with. So those indirect interactions, like the people you listen to on podcasts like this one, the books you read, the social media accounts you follow and absorb, the online groups you take part in, the TV you watch and the news you consume and so on.

If you are not paying attention to both your direct and indirect circle of influence, you could be unknowingly limiting yourself in ways you don’t even see. And you could be missing opportunities to step into the kind of life you want sooner and with far more ease and flow.

So today, I want to talk about the impact of influence and how to assess who’s in your circle, why it matters more than you think, and how putting yourself in the right spaces with the right people at the right times in your life can completely change the game.

Plus, I’ll share a personal story about how my mastermind coach called me out this week on something I thought was a strategy problem, but it’s actually one of the biggest mindset blocks holding me back.

Let’s get into it.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I’m your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you’re ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello and welcome back to The Self-Creation School podcast. I’m so glad you’re here because today’s conversation is one that could make a massive difference in how quickly and easily you achieve what it is you want. Whether it’s success in business, career, finances, health, or simply feeling more confident in the life you’re creating.

Because like I said in the introduction a moment ago, your success isn’t just shaped by the strategy you follow or how hard you work. It’s also shaped by who you surround yourself with and how they influence you.

If you’ve been listening in for a while or maybe you get my weekly email CREATED, you’ve probably heard me mention the high-level mastermind I’m taking part in this year alongside five other really incredible women.

We’ve just hit the four-week mark of a 12-month long program, and I have to say I’ve had more breakthroughs and progress in the last four weeks than I’ve had in the last two years. And that has everything to do with the level of support I said YES! to surrounding myself with.

Last week alone, a particularly big breakthrough happened for me inside this mastermind that I think perfectly demonstrates why who you surround yourself with matters far more than you think, and why it can trump any level of self-work you might be doing.

I mentioned a self-work because last year, I intentionally did not surround myself with the support I knew I needed, even though I knew it would really slow me down. The year before, I had a pretty major betrayal from a business coach I was working with. Let’s just say she loved my ideas a little too much, so she took them and ran.

And she’s a coach who has a really large following. She’s very influential, and so she definitely had an unfair advantage at hitting the ground running in taking my ideas to the market. I was devastated, really, truly gutted. And I wasn’t exactly in a hurry to open the doors of my business or lay out my ideas to another coach anytime soon.

So, instead of expanding my circle of influence last year to help me expand my results, I restricted it. I relied solely on being my own coach. I decided that I would really hone in on my self-work and coach myself through my roadblocks and limitations to achieve my goals.

And don’t get me wrong, being your own best coach is a really powerful skill. It’s something I encourage you to be right here on this podcast by sharing the tips, insights, and strategies that I share.

But I also know this. Next level results almost always require next level support. Because next level results usually bring about next level roadblocks. And no matter how much work you do on yourself, you’ll always have blind spots that impact your ability to push through these kind of roadblocks.

And this is exactly what happened for me last week in the mastermind. I went to my mastermind coach, her name is Michelle Hext, by the way. If you are a coach, look her up. She’s not just an incredible human being, but she’s also an incredible business coach. So I went to her with what I thought was a strategy problem and she straight up called me out. Not in a harsh way, but in the kind of direct, no fluff, needle moving way that only a great coach can.

And these aren’t her exact words, but in a nutshell, she said, “Leanne, the strategy isn’t the problem. Your stories about why you need this strategy are the problem. Your stories are setting you up to fail before you even begin implementing a strategy that really isn’t a make-or-break deal.”

And she was so right. My so-called strategy problem? It was really just a limiting story I was using strategy as a disguise for. A sneaky little belief that was showing up in my thinking in ways I was completely blind to.

If you’re a planner and very strategic like me, it’s pretty easy to think you’re just getting all your ducks in a row, right? But Michelle was super quick to see through this and bring to my attention the real problem at hand.

Now, here’s the thing. I work on my mindset every single day. I catch a lot of my own stories. I’ve been doing this work for 25 years, during which time I’ve shifted countless limiting beliefs and created incredible results in my life. And yet, I still did not see this particular story I had around creating success in my business. Because you can’t see what you can’t see.

And this is exactly why, who you allow into your circle of influence matters. Having the right people in your life at the right time can make all the difference to getting the right outcome.

Imagine if I took that same problem to a friend or family member. To someone who maybe doesn’t want to be straight with me because they’re afraid of hurting my feelings or damaging our relationship. Maybe they have similar limitations and so they can’t even recognize the story as being the problem. Or maybe they don’t agree with the things that I want to achieve, and so instead of trying to help me, they try and convince me to give up.

And imagine if I had just kept trying to figure it out on my own. Maybe I would eventually see the story. Maybe, maybe not. And if I did, how long would that have taken me? Months? Maybe years? How much time might I have wasted to getting to the real problem that Michelle was able to help me see in a single conversation?

I’ve seen this time and again with my own clients how a single conversation with the right kind of person who sees you and sees through you changes everything. And no podcast, book, program, course, or community can really replace those kinds of conversations.

So this is why, as much as I love and will continue to champion coaching yourself and doing the self-work as being crucial in creating the life you want, it absolutely has its place. But this is why I’ll also say that your circle of influence is one of the most important success factors in your life.

Even though I’ve had coaches over the years not do right by me, I will continue to seek out those next level people to help me create my next level results because I understand the true impact of being very intentional about your circle of influence. And the value of ensuring that neutral third parties are in that mix.

So I want to share some tips with you to help you take a real honest look at who’s in your circle, how they’re shaping your success, whether you realize it or not, and whether you are inviting the right kind of influence inside your circle. Because maybe like me, you’ve been hesitant to step into that next level of support, and maybe that could be the very thing that changes everything.

Who you surround yourself with, remember directly or indirectly, shapes your thoughts, your beliefs, and ultimately how quickly you can achieve your goals. The environment you are in, the conversations you have, the expectations of people around you and the energy they bring, all of these things play a massive role in who you can become and how far you can go.

I want you to think about this for a second.

Imagine you’re in a room with people who constantly challenge you to step up, who celebrate your wins, and who genuinely believe in your potential even when you’re doubting yourself. Then compare that to being in a room where people dismiss your dreams. They question your ambitions, or simply don’t understand why you want more for yourself. Which version of you do you think will be more successful in achieving your goals?

We absorb the energy, the beliefs, and the expectations of the people we spend the most time with, whether we realize it or not. If you are surrounded by people who think small, who doubt themselves and play it safe, it’s only a matter of time before you start matching that energy. But if you’re around people who push themselves, who take bold action and see obstacles as opportunities, you start to think, act, and show up in a vastly different way in your world.

And again, both direct and indirect influences matter here, but they do impact you in slightly different ways. The people you interact with directly can immediately reinforce or challenge your beliefs, habits, and decisions in real time. Whereas the indirect influences like the books you read, the content you consume and the voices you follow, they may not challenge you directly in the moment, but over time they subtly shape how you think and what you believe is possible.

So it’s important to pay attention to both your direct and indirect influences because you might be unintentionally absorbing beliefs, patterns, and expectations that don’t actually align with what you want in very subtle ways.

Now, as I often say, awareness is the key to change. You cannot change what you do not know exists. Just like the story I couldn’t see, right? And so, in order to change your circle of influence, if you need to, I want to walk you through what I call an Influence Audit. A simple way to assess who’s in your circle and whether they’re helping or hindering your growth.

Firstly, let me give you some signs to look out for that your circle might not be serving you. Sometimes it’s obvious when people around us aren’t supportive, but other times it’s a little more subtle and you might not even realize that your inner circle is keeping you stuck. So, here are some signs to keep watch for.

The first one is you feel like you have to shrink yourself.

You find yourself toning down your excitement, hesitating to share your big goals, or downplaying your success because you know that people around you won’t get it, won’t support it, or maybe they’ll even judge you for it. Instead of feeling celebrated and encouraged, you feel like your ambitions are too much or unrealistic, so you start keeping them to yourself.

The second sign is you leave conversations feeling drained or doubtful.

It’s not always what people say outright. It’s their energy, their skepticism, their subtle reactions, like those eyebrows or the raised eyebrows or the comments like, “Oh, that sounds risky.” They may not tell you directly to give up, but after talking to them, you notice that you feel less sure of yourself, you start second-guessing your decisions or questioning whether maybe your dreams are actually unrealistic. Instead of feeling empowered, you feel deflated.

And the third sign is people around you don’t challenge or inspire you.

You’re not surrounded by people who push you to grow. Instead, your conversations stay surface-level, routine, or focus on things that don’t support your ambitions. The people in your life may be comfortable with where they are and without realizing it that comfort is keeping you stagnant too. It’s not that they’re against your growth, but they’re not encouraging it either.

If no one around you is setting big goals, taking bold action or challenging you to step up, it’s easy to stay at the same level, even if deep down, you know you want more.

So if any of these sound familiar, it’s time to take a closer look at your circle. I personally do this regularly, not obsessively, but as a way to stay intentional about the kind of life I’m creating.

Now, probably not everyone in your life is holding you back, and not everyone is pushing you forward either. And I’m not going to tell you that you need to completely remove the people who don’t serve you. But what I will suggest is that you want to be spending far greater time with the people who do. And what I’ve found is there are generally three types of people in most people’s circles of influence.

The first are what I call the Expanders, the people who challenge and inspire you to grow.

These are the people who push you beyond your comfort zone, who expand your vision of what’s possible and hold you accountable to your highest potential. They don’t just support your dreams, they expect you to go after them, and they show up for you every step of the way.

Expanders see your potential even when you don’t. They call you out with love when you’re making excuses. They encourage you to take risks instead of playing it safe, and they model what’s possible because they’re actively growing themselves. Just being around them raises your standards and stretches your thinking.

Think about people in your life who light you up, who challenge you in a good way, and who make you want to be a better version of yourself. Those are your Expanders.

Next we have the Stagnators, the people who keep you stuck often without realizing it.

Now Stagnators aren’t actively trying to drag you down, but they aren’t actively trying to lift you up either. They’re comfortable where they are, and if you’re not careful, their comfort becomes yours. So the problem with Stagnators is they don’t challenge you to grow. They prefer to keep things as they are, and even without meaning to, they subtly reinforce the status quo.

They may feel threatened by your growth because it highlights their own lack of progress, and they may say things like, "You’ve already got a great life, why not just be happy with what you have?" They mean well, but their mindset keeps them playing small and spending too much time with Stagnators will keep you playing small too.

So while they aren’t intentionally holding you back, their fear of change and growth, their resistance to it, can easily become your resistance and your fear of change and growth.

And lastly, we have the Drainers, the people who actively pull you away from your goals.

Drainers are constantly complaining, constantly making excuses, or focusing on the negative and what’s wrong. They quite literally drain your energy. They leave you feeling exhausted, unmotivated, or even questioning yourself.

They might not always say it outright but through criticism, sarcasm, or passive-aggressive remarks, they chip away at your confidence. And they may even discourage you from taking action because they don’t want you to get ahead of them.

With Drainers, it’s not just about feeling unsupported. It’s about being actively pulled in the wrong direction. And without realizing it, you start absorbing their negative energy. You start questioning yourself. You start procrastinating or hesitating on things you were once really excited about. That’s the real danger of Drainers. They don’t just slow you down, they make you doubt yourself.

So, what I want you to do is take a look in your life at who you are spending time with and place them in one of these three categories. Remember, it’s not just the people you have direct physical contact with. But also take a look at the indirect people who might be influencing you and impacting your success.

Look at who you are listening to in podcasts, on YouTube, what you’re watching on TikTok, who you’re following on your socials, like Facebook and Instagram. Sometimes we join groups on Facebook that seem like they will elevate us, but they are filled with Drainers.

Look at the kind of books you read. Are you even reading? Who’s in your inbox? What are you watching on TV? Are you consuming negative or sensationalized news all day long that leaves you feeling anxious or even angry about your world?

I want you to consider all the touch-points in your day, and ideally over the course of at least a week, and who are the people who you give access to your mindset, your emotions, your possibilities, and so on. Who are you allowing into your circle of influence?

So an honest, open assessment, no matter how much you might feel obligated to have these people in your life. Okay? And listen, I know that in some cases you might feel like you can’t change your circle. Maybe it’s family, coworkers, or people you can’t easily remove from your life. And that’s okay. This audit isn’t about necessarily cutting people out. It’s about being intentional about who gets to influence you.

You always have a choice in who you turn to for guidance, inspiration, and support. Even if you can’t remove certain people, you can shift how much weight you give to their opinions and increase the time you spend with those who expand you.

That’s why I want you to take a step back and assess who’s in your circle, not with judgment but with awareness. Because once you see who’s influencing you, you can start making conscious choices about how to shape your environment for the results you want.

So let me give you some questions you can think about to help you do this.

Who are the five people you spend the most time with? Are they Expanders, Stagnators, or Drainers? Do you feel more inspired, confident, and motivated after talking with them or listening to them? Or do you feel more doubtful and drained? Are they supporting your growth or are they consciously or unconsciously keeping you at their level?

And what changes do you need to make in your circle to align yourself with people who will truly help you grow? Do you need to adjust the time you spend with some people to allow more time with others? Do you need to limit the time you spend with some people altogether?

Now again, doing this audit doesn’t mean you have to cut people out of your life completely if they aren’t helping you grow. But it does mean being intentional about who you allow to have influence over your mindset, your decisions, and what you believe is possible.

And if you realize that your circle is full of Stagnators or Drainers, it’s time to seek out some more Expanders. That could mean joining a mastermind, working with a coach, or simply surround yourself with people who are playing at the level that you want to be at. Because when you spend time in spaces where growth is a norm, your entire reality shifts.

You want to increase the time you spend with Expanders, limit the time you spend with Stagnators, and eliminate as much as possible the time you spend with Drainers. Or again, shift the weight you give to the Stagnators or Drainers.

And when it comes to spending time with Expanders, I highly recommend doing so in the first person if you can, but you don’t have to know them personally. You can find Expanders in podcasts like this one, by reading books, by studying successful people. You’d be surprised at how well you can get to know someone and be mentored by them without so much as ever having a conversation with them or them even knowing you exist.

One of my favorite sayings is, “Success leaves clues.” So seek out those who had the kind of life you want, or have been able to overcome the kind of challenges you face, and study them. Find out everything you can about what they did, how they think. Then emulate that in your own life.

But again, if you can have an Expander, like a coach on your team who can work with you directly in a very personalized way to help you uplevel your results, this is going to have a much greater impact.

Listen, I’ve already said a number of times today that podcasts, books, courses, and the like, are amazing. I have them all as part of my own growth strategy. They can spark new ideas, help you shift your perspective, and give you powerful tools to work with.

What they don’t do is keep you accountable. What they don’t do is personalize those insights, tips, and strategies to you. What they don’t do is meet you exactly where you are, knowing where it is you want to go. And what they don’t do is call you out when you need to be called out.

And I think this also needs to be said, and I put my hand up to say I’ve absolutely been guilty of this. Consumption does not equal change. Taking what you consume and implementing it into your life is what creates change.

And a lot of us tend to get caught up in this cycle from time to time of over-consuming and under-implementing. We listen to the podcast every week for that dose of inspiration. We read the newsletter or the book, and whilst we had the best intentions of doing something with it, the busyness of life gets in the way.

Then next week arrives with even more to consume. And before you know it, you’ve gathered a ton of knowledge, but nothing has actually changed. Because consuming information isn’t what moves you forward. Acting on it is.

The other mistake I see happening is thinking there is a magic bullet. I see it all the time, women searching for that quick fix. Thinking the right lipstick, the perfect morning routine, or the exact strategy will change everything. But real transformation isn’t about the shade of lipstick you wear, it’s about the woman wearing it.

The magic bullet is you. The magic bullet is you overcoming the challenge of you. And the reality is no one size fits all approach is ever going to take into consideration the uniqueness of you. And this is why direct coaching and mentorship is really just so powerful because it puts you in the equation. It puts someone in your corner who can see the patterns that you can’t see, and who is willing to say, “Hey, this is the real issue. Let’s address that.”

That one moment in my mastermind last week unraveled a whole lot of stuff for me. It was a huge light bulb moment. Not because I learned a new strategy but because I was willing to be seen, challenged, and called forward into my highest potential. And that’s something no book or podcast could ever do for me or for you.

Now, maybe you don’t have the ability to invest into a coach like myself right now. So do what you can with what you have from where you are. That means do listen into the podcast and read the books but put what you learn into action. Then as soon as you are able, I highly encourage you to invest into having that next level influence that a coach can be in your life.

And sometimes you can find mentors in your local community, by the way. It doesn’t always have to be someone you pay to mentor you. So think outside the square. How can you get access to the right kind of personalized support right now?

So, here’s what I invite you to do this week. Do the influence audit we talked about today. Look at your circle. Ask yourself, are these the people who will help me get to where I want to go? And if they aren’t, what’s the one thing you can do today to shift that?

Maybe it’s unsubscribing from some social media accounts and finding some more Expander type accounts to follow instead. Maybe it’s spending more time learning from the right people. You might spend time reading at night instead of doomsday scrolling on your social feeds. Or maybe it’s finally stepping into that next level of support that you know deep down you need.

Whatever it is, say YES! to the people who help you say YES! to yourself and your dreams.

And if you’ve already got a lot of Expanders in your circle, but you are still not getting results, it’s time to take a look at your consumption to implementation ratio and to change the question from, “What do I need to learn next” to “Who do I need in my corner to help me see what I can’t see?”

That doesn’t mean you have to go out and hire a coach today, but it does mean making a conscious choice to seek out the people who can help you move forward and rise above.

And I’d love to hear what comes up for you as you do this. So, send me a DM on my socials or an email and let me know what shifts for you after doing your Influence audit. And if this episode spoke to you, share it with a friend who might need this reminder too.

That’s it for today’s episode. Do join me again next Wednesday for more of my Self-Creation Secrets to help you create a life you love. I look forward to your company.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what’s stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love?

Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what’s standing in your way today and I’ll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it.

That’s https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.

It’s easy to think that the formula for any kind of success, whether it’s career, business, financial, health, even emotional, is simply about having the right strategy and just staying motivated and disciplined. But the truth is the people you surround yourself with play a massive role in whether you’re moving forward, staying stuck, or even unknowingly holding yourself back.

And most people don’t realize just how much their inner circle influences, not only what they believe is possible, but also their ability to make it possible and how quickly they’re able to do so.

Think about it. Have you ever had a conversation with someone who made you feel unstoppable? Just by being around them, you suddenly saw things differently and felt more capable. And on the flip side, have you ever shared a dream with someone, and their response made you second-guess everything? Maybe they didn’t outright say that’s impossible, but their energy, their skepticism, their sideways smirk, or even their silence planted a seed of doubt.

But your circle of influence isn’t just about who you spend time engaging with physically. It’s about who’s shaping your thoughts, beliefs, and actions every single day across all touch-points.

It’s the people you have two-way interactions with in your physical environment. So those direct interactions with people like your family, friends, and work colleagues.

And also, the people you have a one-way conversation with. So those indirect interactions, like the people you listen to on podcasts like this one, the books you read, the social media accounts you follow and absorb, the online groups you take part in, the TV you watch and the news you consume and so on.

If you are not paying attention to both your direct and indirect circle of influence, you could be unknowingly limiting yourself in ways you don’t even see. And you could be missing opportunities to step into the kind of life you want sooner and with far more ease and flow.

So today, I want to talk about the impact of influence and how to assess who’s in your circle, why it matters more than you think, and how putting yourself in the right spaces with the right people at the right times in your life can completely change the game.

Plus, I’ll share a personal story about how my mastermind coach called me out this week on something I thought was a strategy problem, but it’s actually one of the biggest mindset blocks holding me back.

Let’s get into it.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I’m your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you’re ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello and welcome back to The Self-Creation School podcast. I’m so glad you’re here because today’s conversation is one that could make a massive difference in how quickly and easily you achieve what it is you want. Whether it’s success in business, career, finances, health, or simply feeling more confident in the life you’re creating.

Because like I said in the introduction a moment ago, your success isn’t just shaped by the strategy you follow or how hard you work. It’s also shaped by who you surround yourself with and how they influence you.

If you’ve been listening in for a while or maybe you get my weekly email CREATED, you’ve probably heard me mention the high-level mastermind I’m taking part in this year alongside five other really incredible women.

We’ve just hit the four-week mark of a 12-month long program, and I have to say I’ve had more breakthroughs and progress in the last four weeks than I’ve had in the last two years. And that has everything to do with the level of support I said YES! to surrounding myself with.

Last week alone, a particularly big breakthrough happened for me inside this mastermind that I think perfectly demonstrates why who you surround yourself with matters far more than you think, and why it can trump any level of self-work you might be doing.

I mentioned a self-work because last year, I intentionally did not surround myself with the support I knew I needed, even though I knew it would really slow me down. The year before, I had a pretty major betrayal from a business coach I was working with. Let’s just say she loved my ideas a little too much, so she took them and ran.

And she’s a coach who has a really large following. She’s very influential, and so she definitely had an unfair advantage at hitting the ground running in taking my ideas to the market. I was devastated, really, truly gutted. And I wasn’t exactly in a hurry to open the doors of my business or lay out my ideas to another coach anytime soon.

So, instead of expanding my circle of influence last year to help me expand my results, I restricted it. I relied solely on being my own coach. I decided that I would really hone in on my self-work and coach myself through my roadblocks and limitations to achieve my goals.

And don’t get me wrong, being your own best coach is a really powerful skill. It’s something I encourage you to be right here on this podcast by sharing the tips, insights, and strategies that I share.

But I also know this. Next level results almost always require next level support. Because next level results usually bring about next level roadblocks. And no matter how much work you do on yourself, you’ll always have blind spots that impact your ability to push through these kind of roadblocks.

And this is exactly what happened for me last week in the mastermind. I went to my mastermind coach, her name is Michelle Hext, by the way. If you are a coach, look her up. She’s not just an incredible human being, but she’s also an incredible business coach. So I went to her with what I thought was a strategy problem and she straight up called me out. Not in a harsh way, but in the kind of direct, no fluff, needle moving way that only a great coach can.

And these aren’t her exact words, but in a nutshell, she said, “Leanne, the strategy isn’t the problem. Your stories about why you need this strategy are the problem. Your stories are setting you up to fail before you even begin implementing a strategy that really isn’t a make-or-break deal.”

And she was so right. My so-called strategy problem? It was really just a limiting story I was using strategy as a disguise for. A sneaky little belief that was showing up in my thinking in ways I was completely blind to.

If you’re a planner and very strategic like me, it’s pretty easy to think you’re just getting all your ducks in a row, right? But Michelle was super quick to see through this and bring to my attention the real problem at hand.

Now, here’s the thing. I work on my mindset every single day. I catch a lot of my own stories. I’ve been doing this work for 25 years, during which time I’ve shifted countless limiting beliefs and created incredible results in my life. And yet, I still did not see this particular story I had around creating success in my business. Because you can’t see what you can’t see.

And this is exactly why, who you allow into your circle of influence matters. Having the right people in your life at the right time can make all the difference to getting the right outcome.

Imagine if I took that same problem to a friend or family member. To someone who maybe doesn’t want to be straight with me because they’re afraid of hurting my feelings or damaging our relationship. Maybe they have similar limitations and so they can’t even recognize the story as being the problem. Or maybe they don’t agree with the things that I want to achieve, and so instead of trying to help me, they try and convince me to give up.

And imagine if I had just kept trying to figure it out on my own. Maybe I would eventually see the story. Maybe, maybe not. And if I did, how long would that have taken me? Months? Maybe years? How much time might I have wasted to getting to the real problem that Michelle was able to help me see in a single conversation?

I’ve seen this time and again with my own clients how a single conversation with the right kind of person who sees you and sees through you changes everything. And no podcast, book, program, course, or community can really replace those kinds of conversations.

So this is why, as much as I love and will continue to champion coaching yourself and doing the self-work as being crucial in creating the life you want, it absolutely has its place. But this is why I’ll also say that your circle of influence is one of the most important success factors in your life.

Even though I’ve had coaches over the years not do right by me, I will continue to seek out those next level people to help me create my next level results because I understand the true impact of being very intentional about your circle of influence. And the value of ensuring that neutral third parties are in that mix.

So I want to share some tips with you to help you take a real honest look at who’s in your circle, how they’re shaping your success, whether you realize it or not, and whether you are inviting the right kind of influence inside your circle. Because maybe like me, you’ve been hesitant to step into that next level of support, and maybe that could be the very thing that changes everything.

Who you surround yourself with, remember directly or indirectly, shapes your thoughts, your beliefs, and ultimately how quickly you can achieve your goals. The environment you are in, the conversations you have, the expectations of people around you and the energy they bring, all of these things play a massive role in who you can become and how far you can go.

I want you to think about this for a second.

Imagine you’re in a room with people who constantly challenge you to step up, who celebrate your wins, and who genuinely believe in your potential even when you’re doubting yourself. Then compare that to being in a room where people dismiss your dreams. They question your ambitions, or simply don’t understand why you want more for yourself. Which version of you do you think will be more successful in achieving your goals?

We absorb the energy, the beliefs, and the expectations of the people we spend the most time with, whether we realize it or not. If you are surrounded by people who think small, who doubt themselves and play it safe, it’s only a matter of time before you start matching that energy. But if you’re around people who push themselves, who take bold action and see obstacles as opportunities, you start to think, act, and show up in a vastly different way in your world.

And again, both direct and indirect influences matter here, but they do impact you in slightly different ways. The people you interact with directly can immediately reinforce or challenge your beliefs, habits, and decisions in real time. Whereas the indirect influences like the books you read, the content you consume and the voices you follow, they may not challenge you directly in the moment, but over time they subtly shape how you think and what you believe is possible.

So it’s important to pay attention to both your direct and indirect influences because you might be unintentionally absorbing beliefs, patterns, and expectations that don’t actually align with what you want in very subtle ways.

Now, as I often say, awareness is the key to change. You cannot change what you do not know exists. Just like the story I couldn’t see, right? And so, in order to change your circle of influence, if you need to, I want to walk you through what I call an Influence Audit. A simple way to assess who’s in your circle and whether they’re helping or hindering your growth.

Firstly, let me give you some signs to look out for that your circle might not be serving you. Sometimes it’s obvious when people around us aren’t supportive, but other times it’s a little more subtle and you might not even realize that your inner circle is keeping you stuck. So, here are some signs to keep watch for.

The first one is you feel like you have to shrink yourself.

You find yourself toning down your excitement, hesitating to share your big goals, or downplaying your success because you know that people around you won’t get it, won’t support it, or maybe they’ll even judge you for it. Instead of feeling celebrated and encouraged, you feel like your ambitions are too much or unrealistic, so you start keeping them to yourself.

The second sign is you leave conversations feeling drained or doubtful.

It’s not always what people say outright. It’s their energy, their skepticism, their subtle reactions, like those eyebrows or the raised eyebrows or the comments like, “Oh, that sounds risky.” They may not tell you directly to give up, but after talking to them, you notice that you feel less sure of yourself, you start second-guessing your decisions or questioning whether maybe your dreams are actually unrealistic. Instead of feeling empowered, you feel deflated.

And the third sign is people around you don’t challenge or inspire you.

You’re not surrounded by people who push you to grow. Instead, your conversations stay surface-level, routine, or focus on things that don’t support your ambitions. The people in your life may be comfortable with where they are and without realizing it that comfort is keeping you stagnant too. It’s not that they’re against your growth, but they’re not encouraging it either.

If no one around you is setting big goals, taking bold action or challenging you to step up, it’s easy to stay at the same level, even if deep down, you know you want more.

So if any of these sound familiar, it’s time to take a closer look at your circle. I personally do this regularly, not obsessively, but as a way to stay intentional about the kind of life I’m creating.

Now, probably not everyone in your life is holding you back, and not everyone is pushing you forward either. And I’m not going to tell you that you need to completely remove the people who don’t serve you. But what I will suggest is that you want to be spending far greater time with the people who do. And what I’ve found is there are generally three types of people in most people’s circles of influence.

The first are what I call the Expanders, the people who challenge and inspire you to grow.

These are the people who push you beyond your comfort zone, who expand your vision of what’s possible and hold you accountable to your highest potential. They don’t just support your dreams, they expect you to go after them, and they show up for you every step of the way.

Expanders see your potential even when you don’t. They call you out with love when you’re making excuses. They encourage you to take risks instead of playing it safe, and they model what’s possible because they’re actively growing themselves. Just being around them raises your standards and stretches your thinking.

Think about people in your life who light you up, who challenge you in a good way, and who make you want to be a better version of yourself. Those are your Expanders.

Next we have the Stagnators, the people who keep you stuck often without realizing it.

Now Stagnators aren’t actively trying to drag you down, but they aren’t actively trying to lift you up either. They’re comfortable where they are, and if you’re not careful, their comfort becomes yours. So the problem with Stagnators is they don’t challenge you to grow. They prefer to keep things as they are, and even without meaning to, they subtly reinforce the status quo.

They may feel threatened by your growth because it highlights their own lack of progress, and they may say things like, "You’ve already got a great life, why not just be happy with what you have?" They mean well, but their mindset keeps them playing small and spending too much time with Stagnators will keep you playing small too.

So while they aren’t intentionally holding you back, their fear of change and growth, their resistance to it, can easily become your resistance and your fear of change and growth.

And lastly, we have the Drainers, the people who actively pull you away from your goals.

Drainers are constantly complaining, constantly making excuses, or focusing on the negative and what’s wrong. They quite literally drain your energy. They leave you feeling exhausted, unmotivated, or even questioning yourself.

They might not always say it outright but through criticism, sarcasm, or passive-aggressive remarks, they chip away at your confidence. And they may even discourage you from taking action because they don’t want you to get ahead of them.

With Drainers, it’s not just about feeling unsupported. It’s about being actively pulled in the wrong direction. And without realizing it, you start absorbing their negative energy. You start questioning yourself. You start procrastinating or hesitating on things you were once really excited about. That’s the real danger of Drainers. They don’t just slow you down, they make you doubt yourself.

So, what I want you to do is take a look in your life at who you are spending time with and place them in one of these three categories. Remember, it’s not just the people you have direct physical contact with. But also take a look at the indirect people who might be influencing you and impacting your success.

Look at who you are listening to in podcasts, on YouTube, what you’re watching on TikTok, who you’re following on your socials, like Facebook and Instagram. Sometimes we join groups on Facebook that seem like they will elevate us, but they are filled with Drainers.

Look at the kind of books you read. Are you even reading? Who’s in your inbox? What are you watching on TV? Are you consuming negative or sensationalized news all day long that leaves you feeling anxious or even angry about your world?

I want you to consider all the touch-points in your day, and ideally over the course of at least a week, and who are the people who you give access to your mindset, your emotions, your possibilities, and so on. Who are you allowing into your circle of influence?

So an honest, open assessment, no matter how much you might feel obligated to have these people in your life. Okay? And listen, I know that in some cases you might feel like you can’t change your circle. Maybe it’s family, coworkers, or people you can’t easily remove from your life. And that’s okay. This audit isn’t about necessarily cutting people out. It’s about being intentional about who gets to influence you.

You always have a choice in who you turn to for guidance, inspiration, and support. Even if you can’t remove certain people, you can shift how much weight you give to their opinions and increase the time you spend with those who expand you.

That’s why I want you to take a step back and assess who’s in your circle, not with judgment but with awareness. Because once you see who’s influencing you, you can start making conscious choices about how to shape your environment for the results you want.

So let me give you some questions you can think about to help you do this.

Who are the five people you spend the most time with? Are they Expanders, Stagnators, or Drainers? Do you feel more inspired, confident, and motivated after talking with them or listening to them? Or do you feel more doubtful and drained? Are they supporting your growth or are they consciously or unconsciously keeping you at their level?

And what changes do you need to make in your circle to align yourself with people who will truly help you grow? Do you need to adjust the time you spend with some people to allow more time with others? Do you need to limit the time you spend with some people altogether?

Now again, doing this audit doesn’t mean you have to cut people out of your life completely if they aren’t helping you grow. But it does mean being intentional about who you allow to have influence over your mindset, your decisions, and what you believe is possible.

And if you realize that your circle is full of Stagnators or Drainers, it’s time to seek out some more Expanders. That could mean joining a mastermind, working with a coach, or simply surround yourself with people who are playing at the level that you want to be at. Because when you spend time in spaces where growth is a norm, your entire reality shifts.

You want to increase the time you spend with Expanders, limit the time you spend with Stagnators, and eliminate as much as possible the time you spend with Drainers. Or again, shift the weight you give to the Stagnators or Drainers.

And when it comes to spending time with Expanders, I highly recommend doing so in the first person if you can, but you don’t have to know them personally. You can find Expanders in podcasts like this one, by reading books, by studying successful people. You’d be surprised at how well you can get to know someone and be mentored by them without so much as ever having a conversation with them or them even knowing you exist.

One of my favorite sayings is, “Success leaves clues.” So seek out those who had the kind of life you want, or have been able to overcome the kind of challenges you face, and study them. Find out everything you can about what they did, how they think. Then emulate that in your own life.

But again, if you can have an Expander, like a coach on your team who can work with you directly in a very personalized way to help you uplevel your results, this is going to have a much greater impact.

Listen, I’ve already said a number of times today that podcasts, books, courses, and the like, are amazing. I have them all as part of my own growth strategy. They can spark new ideas, help you shift your perspective, and give you powerful tools to work with.

What they don’t do is keep you accountable. What they don’t do is personalize those insights, tips, and strategies to you. What they don’t do is meet you exactly where you are, knowing where it is you want to go. And what they don’t do is call you out when you need to be called out.

And I think this also needs to be said, and I put my hand up to say I’ve absolutely been guilty of this. Consumption does not equal change. Taking what you consume and implementing it into your life is what creates change.

And a lot of us tend to get caught up in this cycle from time to time of over-consuming and under-implementing. We listen to the podcast every week for that dose of inspiration. We read the newsletter or the book, and whilst we had the best intentions of doing something with it, the busyness of life gets in the way.

Then next week arrives with even more to consume. And before you know it, you’ve gathered a ton of knowledge, but nothing has actually changed. Because consuming information isn’t what moves you forward. Acting on it is.

The other mistake I see happening is thinking there is a magic bullet. I see it all the time, women searching for that quick fix. Thinking the right lipstick, the perfect morning routine, or the exact strategy will change everything. But real transformation isn’t about the shade of lipstick you wear, it’s about the woman wearing it.

The magic bullet is you. The magic bullet is you overcoming the challenge of you. And the reality is no one size fits all approach is ever going to take into consideration the uniqueness of you. And this is why direct coaching and mentorship is really just so powerful because it puts you in the equation. It puts someone in your corner who can see the patterns that you can’t see, and who is willing to say, “Hey, this is the real issue. Let’s address that.”

That one moment in my mastermind last week unraveled a whole lot of stuff for me. It was a huge light bulb moment. Not because I learned a new strategy but because I was willing to be seen, challenged, and called forward into my highest potential. And that’s something no book or podcast could ever do for me or for you.

Now, maybe you don’t have the ability to invest into a coach like myself right now. So do what you can with what you have from where you are. That means do listen into the podcast and read the books but put what you learn into action. Then as soon as you are able, I highly encourage you to invest into having that next level influence that a coach can be in your life.

And sometimes you can find mentors in your local community, by the way. It doesn’t always have to be someone you pay to mentor you. So think outside the square. How can you get access to the right kind of personalized support right now?

So, here’s what I invite you to do this week. Do the influence audit we talked about today. Look at your circle. Ask yourself, are these the people who will help me get to where I want to go? And if they aren’t, what’s the one thing you can do today to shift that?

Maybe it’s unsubscribing from some social media accounts and finding some more Expander type accounts to follow instead. Maybe it’s spending more time learning from the right people. You might spend time reading at night instead of doomsday scrolling on your social feeds. Or maybe it’s finally stepping into that next level of support that you know deep down you need.

Whatever it is, say YES! to the people who help you say YES! to yourself and your dreams.

And if you’ve already got a lot of Expanders in your circle, but you are still not getting results, it’s time to take a look at your consumption to implementation ratio and to change the question from, “What do I need to learn next” to “Who do I need in my corner to help me see what I can’t see?”

That doesn’t mean you have to go out and hire a coach today, but it does mean making a conscious choice to seek out the people who can help you move forward and rise above.

And I’d love to hear what comes up for you as you do this. So, send me a DM on my socials or an email and let me know what shifts for you after doing your Influence audit. And if this episode spoke to you, share it with a friend who might need this reminder too.

That’s it for today’s episode. Do join me again next Wednesday for more of my Self-Creation Secrets to help you create a life you love. I look forward to your company.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what’s stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love?

Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what’s standing in your way today and I’ll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it.

That’s https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.