Today I want to talk about how to tame your triggers. Those things that happen in your life that cause intense emotional reactions that often seem to come out of nowhere and feel like they are completely out of your control.

The truth is, while maybe you cannot fully control your triggers, although with time you can certainly reduce them, you do have the power to turn your reaction into proaction and keep yourself from heading into the downwards emotional spiral that so often comes with our triggers.

If you'd like to discover a really powerful process for taming your triggers, my friend, this episode is for you. I'm sharing the ins and outs of triggers and what you can do to stop them taking the reins of your life.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello, my friend, and thanks so much for joining me for this week's podcast episode on Taming Your Triggers. For those of you joining me for the first time, a special welcome to you. This podcast is where I share my Self-Creation secrets to help you create a life you love, one YES! at a time.

Today, I'm going to talk about something that happens to all of us at one time or another and that sometimes happens a little too much for some of us, making us feel like we are constantly at the mercy of other people and situations outside of us.

And of course, I'm talking about being triggered. Those times where something happens either during an interaction with another person or some kind of situation in our lives and we have a sudden and really intense emotional reaction to it. Sometimes completely catching us by surprise. It's like an emotional alarm that goes off telling us to retreat from the situation because the event that has happened makes us feel threatened or in some kind of emotional danger.

And the reason for that is our triggers are usually linked to past events that have been either very traumatic or very painful. And those events have led us to believe things about ourselves that feel extremely hurtful, or perhaps shameful or negative in some way.

Let me give you an example. Previously I've shared about how I was teased by my peers as a child for my red hair, pale white skin and freckles, and even my name. It made me feel very embarrassed and ashamed as a child, and ultimately rejected by my peers. And at the time I made having red hair, freckles and pale white skin, and being called Leanne mean that I wasn't good enough.

Now feeling like you're not good enough really hurts, right? And so when we feel strong emotions like this from an event that happens in our life, our brain stores this memory along with our explanation of it for future reference. Because our brain's job is to keep us safe from any future harm.

So in my example, my brain locked away a memory that my red hair, freckles and white skin means I'm not good enough and that causes me to feel emotions like embarrassment, shame and rejection. Fast forward many years later and maybe someone makes a remark about my pale white skin. Actually, I have a really recent example of this.

A friend I hadn't seen for a while commented that I looked like I had more color since he last saw me, and I looked healthier. Likely, they didn't mean any harm by this comment. It was probably intended as a compliment. But because I have a very deeply ingrained subconscious association between my pale white skin and not being good enough, this remark triggered an emotional reaction in me beyond my control. Like the emotions I felt way back when I was being teased in the schoolyard by my peers.

I immediately felt embarrassed and ashamed, even though I wasn't consciously thinking about those past events. And what happens is, the emotional alarm that is triggered by this current event causes our storyteller to roll up its sleeves and go to work overtime to try and help us make sense of the situation at hand and the emotion we are feeling.

It does that by going through our brain's stored collection of memories, pulling out all the stories that remind us of our past negative experiences when we felt the same kind of intense emotions. Experiences which may or may not be similar, by the way. And what this does is, it associates the new event with those past events and serves to reaffirm the negative beliefs we formed about ourselves during those past events even more strongly.

So in my example, someone who remarks about my pale white skin, even if it is a compliment, that triggers an emotional reaction in me of shame or embarrassment because of what happened way back when I was a child. And my storyteller reminds me that I'm feeling this way because I'm not good enough.

Remember the last time you felt embarrassed and ashamed? Remember how your pale white skin means you are not good enough? Best hide and not show anyone your pale white skin, so you don't feel this kind of hurt.

But any time I feel embarrassment or shame for whatever reason, like the time I spoke on stage at a conference. I can't remember what I was talking about exactly, but I do remember describing it as being humongous, which was my three-year old's favorite word of the moment at the time. So, it was a word that was stuck inside my head. It just wasn't exactly the kind of word that fit the scene I was speaking in.

And the embarrassment and shame I felt when that word left my lips immediately elicited the story that I am not good enough to be on stage. Because my storyteller looked for ways to explain why I was feeling those emotions. And it found an old memory associated with these emotions, the pale white skin, and the ultimate meaning that when I feel shame and embarrassment, it's because I am not good enough.

You see how this works?

And this can very quickly send us into a negative emotional downward spiral that can have a massive impact on not only our SELF Wealth, like our self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence, but it also negatively impacts the outcomes we experience in our reality.

Maybe, because I believe I'm not good enough and my pale white skin is to blame, maybe I become a social recluse because I don't want to show myself to the world in case I'll be rejected for how I look. I'm not actually a social recluse. I do like being social, that's just an example.

But the reality is, for me, it has shown up over the years in not wanting to be photographed. In not wearing the kind of clothes I might have otherwise worn because they revealed too much of my pale white skin. Finding it difficult to embrace myself in a swimsuit amongst all of the beautiful olive tanned skin bodies on the beach and so avoiding these kinds of situations because they only serve to remind me of how I am not good enough.

Speaking from the stage got added to my list of dangerous things as well because that too will only serve to remind me of how I'm not good enough. And I have largely avoided public speaking as a result. To be honest, I didn't have much fun with public speaking as far back as childhood because I was teased for that too. The whole humongous episode was just the last straw for a long time. In fact, until I launched this podcast.

My point here is that avoiding triggering these painful emotions and what I decided way back when I was a child that they mean about me, that story that I'm not good enough, is definitely something over my lifetime that has impacted the reality I have chosen to create for myself at various times.

And that is just a couple of past experiences that have contributed to my collective of limiting stories. Like me, you will have a whole collection as well that can and do get triggered by the similar and sometimes not so similar events of today.

Stories that linger in the shadows, that hide just beneath the surface, and that get pulled out in an instant when we are emotionally triggered by something. Stories like, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'll never amount to anything, I'm a failure, I'll be laughed at, rejected, and so on.

Now sometimes we are very aware of these stories because they are playing on repeat but often, they float around in our subconscious and we are not actively thinking about them until that is, they get resurfaced at the first sign of any kind of emotional threat. And remember whatever the situation at hand makes you feel, your storyteller will try and match up these feelings to past times when you felt that way even if there really isn't any correlation.

That's why sometimes when we are triggered, we are at a loss for why we reacted the way we did, and why it leaves us feeling so down about ourselves. When logically, if we can get out of our emotional downward spiral and think logically, we know the thing that happened really doesn't have any bearing on us. Unfortunately for a lot of us, we stay in that downward spiral, and we simply cannot see past what these new events reaffirm to us to be true about who we are in this world.

Which brings me to why I wanted to talk about this today.

Recently, I was sitting having my hair done, chatting with a friend in Australia, and she mentioned something that had absolutely nothing to do with me, but I got very emotionally triggered by it. And when I say emotionally triggered, I have to tell you, I'm talking about bursting into a flood of tears kind of triggered, which is a pretty rare thing for me to be honest.

And aside from being stunned by my outburst and somewhat embarrassed, my poor hairdresser thought she had burnt me with the straightening irons. Imagine trying to explain away what I thought was probably a midlife fueled, unexplainably out-of-proportion reaction to nothing to my hairdresser in my very basic level of Spanish. These are the kind of times expat life is very interesting.

The reality is, midlife hormones aside, I knew what happened wasn't completely unexplainable and because I had the tools, knowledge and experience to step to one side and look objectively at what happened, I was able to tame my trigger relatively quickly.

But I clearly remember when I didn't have the tools, knowledge and experience I have today to deal with my triggers in the way that I do. To deal logically and objectively with the people and situations that trigger strong emotional reactions in me for whatever reason, in the moment. Rather than allowing myself to get caught up in a downward spiral that can last anywhere from hours to days to weeks to months or even longer for some of us.

And I know that maybe you might not have the tools and knowledge to tame your triggers. So I wanted to share with you a simple framework I've found to work really well over the years, and that I use every day, especially when I'm triggered. But also, whenever my storyteller pops in to tell me negative stories about myself, which stop me saying YES! to the action I want to take towards my dreams.

This process is something I share in an in-depth workbook with the women who take my free YES! Block assessment over on my website. Which is also a great resource, by the way, if you'd like to know what's really standing in between you and saying YES! to the life you want. You'll find that link to the free assessment in the show notes. So if you haven't yet taken that assessment, I highly encourage you to do so.

In the meantime, let me introduce you to my method for taming your triggers. I call it the Self-Creation Shift. It's a process that embodies my core Self-Creation coaching principles and it's designed to help you take control of the stories your storyteller digs up when you get triggered and shift them into new more empowering truths.

Like my signature Self-Creation Method, the entire process fits into a handy and memorable acronym using the word SHIFT. So you can learn it and apply it anytime, anywhere, like when you're sitting having a meltdown at the hairdresser, to rewrite your stories in the moment. Because when you do you reduce their power over you, and you can regain control of your emotional responses before they spiral out of control.

And over time, as you continue to rewrite these stories using my Self-Creation Shift process, you'll start to notice that you are less triggered by the same events. However, it is important to remember that we can and do get triggered by our old stories from time to time, especially when we are pushing through new boundaries or limits. Which is why learning a technique like this is so very important.

Here's how the Self-Creation Shift works. Each letter in the word SHIFT represents a step in the process, beginning with S, which stands for “Story”. What story are you telling yourself right now?

So, you've been triggered by someone or something. You're feeling all the feels. Hopefully by now in this conversation you understand that your storyteller is in the background telling you a story that is feeding the intensity of these emotions.

Pause for a moment. Take a deep breath. And connect with the thoughts that are circling inside your head in this moment. What is the story you are telling yourself about this thing that has happened? In my earlier examples I shared, my stories all came down to I'm not good enough. That was the story I was telling myself.

The thing I want you to understand straight up here is that your story is going to feel like your absolute truth. Because the reality is, you've likely been telling yourself this story for so long now, It has become your truth. But your story is not a fact.

Listen, stories are how we make sense of our world and the things that happen. They are the explanation we choose to give to events that we experience in our world. But for anything that happens, there is always more than one possible explanation, which is why your stories are not facts. They are fiction.

Think about it. How many times have you reminisced with a friend or family member about something that happened, and they have a completely different recollection of the things that took place? A completely different explanation for things. You have two completely different versions of what you believe to be true. about what happened.

And it's because whatever you remember as your truth, as the so-called facts, is the story you attached to the event at the time, your explanation of it. So hang on to that for a moment and let's move on to the next letter in the SHIFT acronym, which is H. And H stands for “What Happened”.

Now that you know what story you're telling yourself, and that it is a story, it's fiction. Let's start looking at the facts. What event happened to trigger this story? Let's get clear about what it is that has occurred and stick to the facts.

In the examples I shared earlier, the facts of the events that happened for me were a friend told me I looked healthy, and I said the word humongous on stage at a conference. Okay, those are the facts without any meaning whatsoever attached to them. If you were there with me in these situations, these are the facts we could likely both agree on. What we wouldn't agree on is the meaning we give to these facts, the explanation, the story.

I made saying the word humongous on stage mean that I was no good at public speaking. You might have made it mean that I am down to earth because I said that word or something like that. But more likely you actually made it mean nothing at all because you didn't notice that word and thought I gave good speech. So you can see how there is more than just the one explanation I chose that is a possible explanation of the event that occurred.

So S is for “Story”. What story are you telling yourself right now? H is for “What Happened”. Let's get to the facts of the event that has triggered this story. The next letter in the SHIFT acronym is I and it stands for “Identify Another Explanation”. Like I just said, there is always more than just one possible explanation for something that happens.

I mentioned that it was possible my friend who told me I looked healthy was trying to give me a compliment, and it probably really meant nothing more than that. So that is one possible explanation. But I made it mean my normal white skin wasn't healthy, and therefore I wasn't good enough just as I am. Which story is more empowering?

So what other possible explanations you can give to the event? Remember we're talking about the facts here. What other possible explanations are there for what has happened?

Which moves us on to the F in the SHIFT acronym which stands for “Fact or Fiction”. It's time to challenge the validity of your story.

My friend, if you can identify just one possible alternative explanation, is your story fact or is it fiction? Is the story you're telling yourself really true, or is it just one possible explanation? I'll put to you that if there is just one alternative way you could explain an event, then your story is exactly that. A story. It's fiction. And it's not the only so-called truth available to you.

Which leads into the final step in this process, the letter T in the SHIFT acronym, which stands for “Your Truth”. You get to decide what you make everything mean. Just as you decided on the original explanation you gave to an event, you can choose a new story, a new explanation to adopt as your truth.

This is where you get to shift your original story that triggers these negative emotions and beliefs, to a new more empowering story that serves you. And importantly, stops the downward spiral your trigger has set you on, so that you can regain control of your emotions and the experience you create for yourself in the moment.

What is the new story you are going to choose to explain the event that happened? What is your new truth?

So a quick recap. S is for “Story”, H is for “What Happened”, I is for “Identify Another Explanation”, F is for “Fact or Fiction” and T is for “Your Truth”. That is the nuts and bolts of my Self-Creation Shift process.

Again, you can get my more in-depth workbook which walks you through this by taking my free YES! Block assessment over on my website and the link to that is in the show notes. And listen, there is much deeper work that is generally required for long term transformation of your limiting stories, and this is the work I do with my private coaching clients using my more comprehensive Self-Creation transformation process.

But the Self-Creation Shift method is a very powerful tool for immediate relief and control over your emotional responses. For managing your in the moment situations. And it really does help prevent downward emotional spirals, which means a quicker emotional recovery from your triggers and less chance that your SELF Wealth will be impacted.

This process has worked for me time and time again, and for the countless women that have used it too. I encourage you to learn the SHIFT acronym so that you can tame your triggers in the moment and say YES! to more empowering stories.

With that, I'm signing off for today's episode. Thanks so much for joining me. I'll be back next Wednesday, same time, same place, to share more of my Self-Creation secrets to help you create a life you love.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what's stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love?

Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what's standing in your way today and I'll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it.

That's https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.

Today I want to talk about how to tame your triggers. Those things that happen in your life that cause intense emotional reactions that often seem to come out of nowhere and feel like they are completely out of your control.

The truth is, while maybe you cannot fully control your triggers, although with time you can certainly reduce them, you do have the power to turn your reaction into proaction and keep yourself from heading into the downwards emotional spiral that so often comes with our triggers.

If you'd like to discover a really powerful process for taming your triggers, my friend, this episode is for you. I'm sharing the ins and outs of triggers and what you can do to stop them taking the reins of your life.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

Hello, my friend, and thanks so much for joining me for this week's podcast episode on Taming Your Triggers. For those of you joining me for the first time, a special welcome to you. This podcast is where I share my Self-Creation secrets to help you create a life you love, one YES! at a time.

Today, I'm going to talk about something that happens to all of us at one time or another and that sometimes happens a little too much for some of us, making us feel like we are constantly at the mercy of other people and situations outside of us.

And of course, I'm talking about being triggered. Those times where something happens either during an interaction with another person or some kind of situation in our lives and we have a sudden and really intense emotional reaction to it. Sometimes completely catching us by surprise. It's like an emotional alarm that goes off telling us to retreat from the situation because the event that has happened makes us feel threatened or in some kind of emotional danger.

And the reason for that is our triggers are usually linked to past events that have been either very traumatic or very painful. And those events have led us to believe things about ourselves that feel extremely hurtful, or perhaps shameful or negative in some way.

Let me give you an example. Previously I've shared about how I was teased by my peers as a child for my red hair, pale white skin and freckles, and even my name. It made me feel very embarrassed and ashamed as a child, and ultimately rejected by my peers. And at the time I made having red hair, freckles and pale white skin, and being called Leanne mean that I wasn't good enough.

Now feeling like you're not good enough really hurts, right? And so when we feel strong emotions like this from an event that happens in our life, our brain stores this memory along with our explanation of it for future reference. Because our brain's job is to keep us safe from any future harm.

So in my example, my brain locked away a memory that my red hair, freckles and white skin means I'm not good enough and that causes me to feel emotions like embarrassment, shame and rejection. Fast forward many years later and maybe someone makes a remark about my pale white skin. Actually, I have a really recent example of this.

A friend I hadn't seen for a while commented that I looked like I had more color since he last saw me, and I looked healthier. Likely, they didn't mean any harm by this comment. It was probably intended as a compliment. But because I have a very deeply ingrained subconscious association between my pale white skin and not being good enough, this remark triggered an emotional reaction in me beyond my control. Like the emotions I felt way back when I was being teased in the schoolyard by my peers.

I immediately felt embarrassed and ashamed, even though I wasn't consciously thinking about those past events. And what happens is, the emotional alarm that is triggered by this current event causes our storyteller to roll up its sleeves and go to work overtime to try and help us make sense of the situation at hand and the emotion we are feeling.

It does that by going through our brain's stored collection of memories, pulling out all the stories that remind us of our past negative experiences when we felt the same kind of intense emotions. Experiences which may or may not be similar, by the way. And what this does is, it associates the new event with those past events and serves to reaffirm the negative beliefs we formed about ourselves during those past events even more strongly.

So in my example, someone who remarks about my pale white skin, even if it is a compliment, that triggers an emotional reaction in me of shame or embarrassment because of what happened way back when I was a child. And my storyteller reminds me that I'm feeling this way because I'm not good enough.

Remember the last time you felt embarrassed and ashamed? Remember how your pale white skin means you are not good enough? Best hide and not show anyone your pale white skin, so you don't feel this kind of hurt.

But any time I feel embarrassment or shame for whatever reason, like the time I spoke on stage at a conference. I can't remember what I was talking about exactly, but I do remember describing it as being humongous, which was my three-year old's favorite word of the moment at the time. So, it was a word that was stuck inside my head. It just wasn't exactly the kind of word that fit the scene I was speaking in.

And the embarrassment and shame I felt when that word left my lips immediately elicited the story that I am not good enough to be on stage. Because my storyteller looked for ways to explain why I was feeling those emotions. And it found an old memory associated with these emotions, the pale white skin, and the ultimate meaning that when I feel shame and embarrassment, it's because I am not good enough.

You see how this works?

And this can very quickly send us into a negative emotional downward spiral that can have a massive impact on not only our SELF Wealth, like our self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence, but it also negatively impacts the outcomes we experience in our reality.

Maybe, because I believe I'm not good enough and my pale white skin is to blame, maybe I become a social recluse because I don't want to show myself to the world in case I'll be rejected for how I look. I'm not actually a social recluse. I do like being social, that's just an example.

But the reality is, for me, it has shown up over the years in not wanting to be photographed. In not wearing the kind of clothes I might have otherwise worn because they revealed too much of my pale white skin. Finding it difficult to embrace myself in a swimsuit amongst all of the beautiful olive tanned skin bodies on the beach and so avoiding these kinds of situations because they only serve to remind me of how I am not good enough.

Speaking from the stage got added to my list of dangerous things as well because that too will only serve to remind me of how I'm not good enough. And I have largely avoided public speaking as a result. To be honest, I didn't have much fun with public speaking as far back as childhood because I was teased for that too. The whole humongous episode was just the last straw for a long time. In fact, until I launched this podcast.

My point here is that avoiding triggering these painful emotions and what I decided way back when I was a child that they mean about me, that story that I'm not good enough, is definitely something over my lifetime that has impacted the reality I have chosen to create for myself at various times.

And that is just a couple of past experiences that have contributed to my collective of limiting stories. Like me, you will have a whole collection as well that can and do get triggered by the similar and sometimes not so similar events of today.

Stories that linger in the shadows, that hide just beneath the surface, and that get pulled out in an instant when we are emotionally triggered by something. Stories like, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'll never amount to anything, I'm a failure, I'll be laughed at, rejected, and so on.

Now sometimes we are very aware of these stories because they are playing on repeat but often, they float around in our subconscious and we are not actively thinking about them until that is, they get resurfaced at the first sign of any kind of emotional threat. And remember whatever the situation at hand makes you feel, your storyteller will try and match up these feelings to past times when you felt that way even if there really isn't any correlation.

That's why sometimes when we are triggered, we are at a loss for why we reacted the way we did, and why it leaves us feeling so down about ourselves. When logically, if we can get out of our emotional downward spiral and think logically, we know the thing that happened really doesn't have any bearing on us. Unfortunately for a lot of us, we stay in that downward spiral, and we simply cannot see past what these new events reaffirm to us to be true about who we are in this world.

Which brings me to why I wanted to talk about this today.

Recently, I was sitting having my hair done, chatting with a friend in Australia, and she mentioned something that had absolutely nothing to do with me, but I got very emotionally triggered by it. And when I say emotionally triggered, I have to tell you, I'm talking about bursting into a flood of tears kind of triggered, which is a pretty rare thing for me to be honest.

And aside from being stunned by my outburst and somewhat embarrassed, my poor hairdresser thought she had burnt me with the straightening irons. Imagine trying to explain away what I thought was probably a midlife fueled, unexplainably out-of-proportion reaction to nothing to my hairdresser in my very basic level of Spanish. These are the kind of times expat life is very interesting.

The reality is, midlife hormones aside, I knew what happened wasn't completely unexplainable and because I had the tools, knowledge and experience to step to one side and look objectively at what happened, I was able to tame my trigger relatively quickly.

But I clearly remember when I didn't have the tools, knowledge and experience I have today to deal with my triggers in the way that I do. To deal logically and objectively with the people and situations that trigger strong emotional reactions in me for whatever reason, in the moment. Rather than allowing myself to get caught up in a downward spiral that can last anywhere from hours to days to weeks to months or even longer for some of us.

And I know that maybe you might not have the tools and knowledge to tame your triggers. So I wanted to share with you a simple framework I've found to work really well over the years, and that I use every day, especially when I'm triggered. But also, whenever my storyteller pops in to tell me negative stories about myself, which stop me saying YES! to the action I want to take towards my dreams.

This process is something I share in an in-depth workbook with the women who take my free YES! Block assessment over on my website. Which is also a great resource, by the way, if you'd like to know what's really standing in between you and saying YES! to the life you want. You'll find that link to the free assessment in the show notes. So if you haven't yet taken that assessment, I highly encourage you to do so.

In the meantime, let me introduce you to my method for taming your triggers. I call it the Self-Creation Shift. It's a process that embodies my core Self-Creation coaching principles and it's designed to help you take control of the stories your storyteller digs up when you get triggered and shift them into new more empowering truths.

Like my signature Self-Creation Method, the entire process fits into a handy and memorable acronym using the word SHIFT. So you can learn it and apply it anytime, anywhere, like when you're sitting having a meltdown at the hairdresser, to rewrite your stories in the moment. Because when you do you reduce their power over you, and you can regain control of your emotional responses before they spiral out of control.

And over time, as you continue to rewrite these stories using my Self-Creation Shift process, you'll start to notice that you are less triggered by the same events. However, it is important to remember that we can and do get triggered by our old stories from time to time, especially when we are pushing through new boundaries or limits. Which is why learning a technique like this is so very important.

Here's how the Self-Creation Shift works. Each letter in the word SHIFT represents a step in the process, beginning with S, which stands for “Story”. What story are you telling yourself right now?

So, you've been triggered by someone or something. You're feeling all the feels. Hopefully by now in this conversation you understand that your storyteller is in the background telling you a story that is feeding the intensity of these emotions.

Pause for a moment. Take a deep breath. And connect with the thoughts that are circling inside your head in this moment. What is the story you are telling yourself about this thing that has happened? In my earlier examples I shared, my stories all came down to I'm not good enough. That was the story I was telling myself.

The thing I want you to understand straight up here is that your story is going to feel like your absolute truth. Because the reality is, you've likely been telling yourself this story for so long now, It has become your truth. But your story is not a fact.

Listen, stories are how we make sense of our world and the things that happen. They are the explanation we choose to give to events that we experience in our world. But for anything that happens, there is always more than one possible explanation, which is why your stories are not facts. They are fiction.

Think about it. How many times have you reminisced with a friend or family member about something that happened, and they have a completely different recollection of the things that took place? A completely different explanation for things. You have two completely different versions of what you believe to be true. about what happened.

And it's because whatever you remember as your truth, as the so-called facts, is the story you attached to the event at the time, your explanation of it. So hang on to that for a moment and let's move on to the next letter in the SHIFT acronym, which is H. And H stands for “What Happened”.

Now that you know what story you're telling yourself, and that it is a story, it's fiction. Let's start looking at the facts. What event happened to trigger this story? Let's get clear about what it is that has occurred and stick to the facts.

In the examples I shared earlier, the facts of the events that happened for me were a friend told me I looked healthy, and I said the word humongous on stage at a conference. Okay, those are the facts without any meaning whatsoever attached to them. If you were there with me in these situations, these are the facts we could likely both agree on. What we wouldn't agree on is the meaning we give to these facts, the explanation, the story.

I made saying the word humongous on stage mean that I was no good at public speaking. You might have made it mean that I am down to earth because I said that word or something like that. But more likely you actually made it mean nothing at all because you didn't notice that word and thought I gave good speech. So you can see how there is more than just the one explanation I chose that is a possible explanation of the event that occurred.

So S is for “Story”. What story are you telling yourself right now? H is for “What Happened”. Let's get to the facts of the event that has triggered this story. The next letter in the SHIFT acronym is I and it stands for “Identify Another Explanation”. Like I just said, there is always more than just one possible explanation for something that happens.

I mentioned that it was possible my friend who told me I looked healthy was trying to give me a compliment, and it probably really meant nothing more than that. So that is one possible explanation. But I made it mean my normal white skin wasn't healthy, and therefore I wasn't good enough just as I am. Which story is more empowering?

So what other possible explanations you can give to the event? Remember we're talking about the facts here. What other possible explanations are there for what has happened?

Which moves us on to the F in the SHIFT acronym which stands for “Fact or Fiction”. It's time to challenge the validity of your story.

My friend, if you can identify just one possible alternative explanation, is your story fact or is it fiction? Is the story you're telling yourself really true, or is it just one possible explanation? I'll put to you that if there is just one alternative way you could explain an event, then your story is exactly that. A story. It's fiction. And it's not the only so-called truth available to you.

Which leads into the final step in this process, the letter T in the SHIFT acronym, which stands for “Your Truth”. You get to decide what you make everything mean. Just as you decided on the original explanation you gave to an event, you can choose a new story, a new explanation to adopt as your truth.

This is where you get to shift your original story that triggers these negative emotions and beliefs, to a new more empowering story that serves you. And importantly, stops the downward spiral your trigger has set you on, so that you can regain control of your emotions and the experience you create for yourself in the moment.

What is the new story you are going to choose to explain the event that happened? What is your new truth?

So a quick recap. S is for “Story”, H is for “What Happened”, I is for “Identify Another Explanation”, F is for “Fact or Fiction” and T is for “Your Truth”. That is the nuts and bolts of my Self-Creation Shift process.

Again, you can get my more in-depth workbook which walks you through this by taking my free YES! Block assessment over on my website and the link to that is in the show notes. And listen, there is much deeper work that is generally required for long term transformation of your limiting stories, and this is the work I do with my private coaching clients using my more comprehensive Self-Creation transformation process.

But the Self-Creation Shift method is a very powerful tool for immediate relief and control over your emotional responses. For managing your in the moment situations. And it really does help prevent downward emotional spirals, which means a quicker emotional recovery from your triggers and less chance that your SELF Wealth will be impacted.

This process has worked for me time and time again, and for the countless women that have used it too. I encourage you to learn the SHIFT acronym so that you can tame your triggers in the moment and say YES! to more empowering stories.

With that, I'm signing off for today's episode. Thanks so much for joining me. I'll be back next Wednesday, same time, same place, to share more of my Self-Creation secrets to help you create a life you love.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!

Hey, want to know what's stopping you from saying YES! to you and a life you love?

Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock and take my FREE 60 second quiz to find out what's standing in your way today and I'll send you my Self-Creation Shift process for shifting it.

That's https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock. I’ll see you there.