In this episode of The Self-Creation School podcast, host Leanne Letica explores common self-imposed limitations, such as feeling not good enough, not being ready, or not having enough time, and offers insights on how to overcome them.
Leanne discusses the power of rewriting the stories we tell ourselves to move past these limitations and confidently pursue a life that fulfills us. Through examples and practical advice, she encourages listeners to say YES! to their dreams and aspirations by challenging misconceptions about readiness, time management, and self-worth.
Also featured are tips on overcoming negative self-talk, avoiding comparison, and practicing self-compassion. Additionally, Leanne invites listeners to join her free workshop and weekly newsletter for further Self-Creation secrets.
Episode Details:
00:00 Unveiling the Lies That Hold You Back
01:20 The Power of Saying YES! to Life
01:33 Debunking the Lies: Not Ready, Not Enough Time, Not Good Enough
04:28 The Fallacy of Being ‘Ready’
08:55 The Truth About ‘Not Having Enough Time’
11:57 Overcoming the ‘Not Good Enough’ Lie
19:12 Practical Tips to Rebuild Your SELF Wealth
21:55 Closing Thoughts and Resources
Mentioned Resources:
Want a backstage pass to my weekly Self-Creation secrets? Join CREATED, it’s the weekly email that helps you create YOUR SELF so you can create a LIFE YOU LOVE.
Imagine saying YES! to your dreams after just ONE A-HA moment you had reading CREATED over your Wednesday morning latte or sneaky glass of champs. #makeyourownrules
For A-HA moments join today at: https://selfcreationschool.com/created
Useful Resources:
- Discover Your YES! Block: https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock
- Steal My Self-Creation Secrets: https://selfcreationschool.com/created
- Get My Manifesto: https://selfcreationschool.com/manifesto
- Grab My Daily Journal: https://selfcreationschool.com/dailyjournal
- Join Week of YES!: https://selfcreationschool.com/weekofyes
Connect with Leanne:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfcreationschool/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/selfcreationschool/
Episode Downloads:
Transcript
Do you tell yourself lies like, “I'm not good enough”, “I'm not ready”, or “I don't have enough time”? My friend, these lies are stopping you from saying YES! to a life you love and confidently doing all the things you know you're here to do. In today's episode, I'm sharing why you tell yourself these lies and how to move past them.
If you've ever doubted yourself, hesitated to question whether you're ready to do something, or caught yourself in a state of constant busyness that leaves no time for saying YES! to you and the things you'd love to do, this episode is a must listen for you. Let's dive in.
Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.
Hello my friend, I'm so pleased to have you join me in today's episode of The Self-Creation School podcast where I share my Self-Creation secrets for creating a life you love, one YES! at a time.
In the work I do with women at The Self-Creation School to shift their self-doubt and their shoulds so they can finally do all the things they're here to do, I hear statements like, “I'm not ready”, “I don't have enough time”, or “I'm just not good enough”, every single day. And these statements are stopping these women, like they might be for you too, from saying YES! to the life they could be experiencing.
I'm going to tell you exactly what I say to the women I work with who tell me these reasons for not being able to do the things they want to do. They are all lies. They are just stories. Stories you tell yourself about who you are and what's possible for you. And these stories are not facts. They are what you choose to believe are your facts.
Do they feel like your truth? Yes, absolutely. Because likely, you've told yourself these stories for so long now, they have become your truth. They are what you deeply believe. But they aren't facts.
Facts are something we could all agree on, like right now, you are listening to me in this podcast episode. What we wouldn't agree on is the story you tell yourself about this podcast episode.
Your story might be that you love it and it's really helpful. Or it could be that you hate it and stop listening halfway through. Your story might say you love the sound of my voice, or it might be it's boring to listen to me.
These are all stories about what your individual experience is listening to this podcast. But these stories are not facts because they're not something we could all agree on.
Listen, we all tell stories. We tell stories about everything. They are a natural part of our human existence. Stories are how we give meaning to the events we experience in our life. And when these events that we experience cause strong emotions in us, the stories we tell about these events, in particular the meaning we give to what these events tell us about who we are, become a foundation for what we believe about ourselves and what's possible in our world.
The problem is, some stories limit us and some stories make us limitless. Stories like, I'm not good enough, I'm not ready, and I don't have enough time, are all stories that are going to limit how you show up in your world, what you can do, and the life experience you create for yourself as a result.
So let's talk about these three stories. Because the truth is, being ready, having enough time, and being good enough are all misconceptions that, if left unchallenged, will confine you to your comfort zone and make you settle for a mediocre life, rather than experiencing all of the possibilities in the life you could be living.
The story of not being ready is a story your storyteller will often tell you whenever you're contemplating change to make you feel afraid and keep you in the comfort of what you know. It's a defense mechanism designed to protect you from the perceived threats associated with change. Threats like failure, judgment or loss.
Now these fears aren't reflections of reality. But rather, they are protective guesses, if you like, that your mind makes to help keep you safe within the confines of familiar territory. And your storyteller communicates this to you by telling you that you are not ready.
But the truth is being ready is a fallacy. The dictionary describes the word ready as having done everything that needs to be done to prepare for something. It brings to mind an image of neatly checking off all the items on a list, tying up all those loose ends, leaving no stone unturned, seeing the complete picture before you even begin.
The definition of readiness implies a state of perfect preparation, that in reality, just doesn't exist. You can never be truly 100 percent prepared, because you cannot know everything you need to do to achieve something, until you've done what it is you want to do.
Let me give you an example.
When I set out to launch this podcast, I had some idea about the things I would need to do to set the podcast up, create the podcast episodes and publish them each week. But as I started doing these things, there were countless other things I didn't know I would need to do that I could only know by taking the initial steps towards launching the podcast. Now that I've launched it, I can tell you exactly what I needed to do to get there. But I didn't know all of these things when I took the first few steps.
Now, if you've been following me for a while, you will have heard me share how long I delayed launching this podcast, because I told myself I wasn't ready. But it is impossible that I could ever be truly ready because by definition of the word, I did not, and could not 100 percent know all of the things I needed to be ready to do.
Readiness isn't about having all the answers or feeling confident about the outcome. It's about making a decision to start despite your uncertainty. Most successful people I know start before they are ready.
And as I shared in my very first podcast episode, the secret lies in feeling ready rather than being ready. Because when you feel ready, you'll take action even though you're uncertain about what you need to be ready to do or the outcome you need to be ready for. And feeling ready is about deciding that you are a woman who is ready to take action despite being uncertain.
So, if you are telling yourself this lie about not being ready, rather than asking if you are ready, consider what your life might look like if you never take that step. Because I hope you can see now that this isn't about being ready. Readiness is a choice, not a destination. A choice between continuing to live your life as is or backing yourself and going all in on creating the life you'd rather live.
Let's talk about not having enough time. Like I'm not ready, not having enough time is also a lie. It's a story you choose to tell yourself because of what you believe deep down you are capable of or deserving to experience in your world.
Time is often less about availability and more about what we choose to prioritize, and sometimes, what we wish to avoid. Many of us lead busy lives and we all have the same 24 hours in every day. It is the choices we make about where to allocate our time that truly shape our experiences and our outcomes.
The story of being too busy often masks a deeper hesitation about putting yourself first or struggling to justify investing time in yourself. Sometimes it's that you equate busyness with productivity and a signal of your value, and you mistakenly believe that time for yourself is a luxury you simply can't afford.
The truth is, you are your most worthwhile investment in your lifetime. The body you exist in must power you through every day, day in, day out, for the entire duration of your lifetime. It doesn't get a holiday, not even one day off. The health of your physical body, your mindset and emotional health, your spiritual health, these are all vitally important to living and experiencing a healthy life.
Investing in yourself to nourish your body, your mind, your emotions, your spirituality – it isn't a luxury, it's a necessity for creating a fulfilling life where you matter, your days matter, and your life matters. And the lie of not having enough time is a story that will hold you back from saying YES! to that kind of life.
Not being worthy of the time to say YES! to you and the things that matter uniquely to you is closely tied with not being good enough, which I'm going to talk about in just a moment. But before I move on, I want to offer you this suggestion.
Whenever you find yourself thinking you'd love to do something, but you just don't have enough time, the real question I invite you to consider isn't whether you have enough time, it's whether you're ready to draw a line in the sand and make you a priority. And perhaps the deeper question is, given you have just this one precious life, can you afford the time not to?
Which brings me to perhaps the biggest lie of all, which is the story, I'm not good enough. This is a lie that stops countless women living the life they deserve, and that they are in fact good enough to create.
The story of not being good enough comes down to one thing – your SELF Wealth. Like your self-worth, self-confidence, self-belief, self-trust, and so on.
This isn't a question of if you are good enough. It's whether or not you recognize your inherent worth, that you are worthy just because you exist aside from any external markers of success or achievement, or the acceptance and approval of others. It's whether you trust in your capabilities and your ability to learn and grow, just as you have in reality since the day you were born. And it's whether you believe in your potential.
Now, this lie often starts from events that happened in your childhood. Maybe it was a critical remark from a teacher, or maybe you were always compared unfavorably to someone else who seemed to do everything right, like a sibling perhaps. And your ill-equipped child brain decided to make these events mean that you're just not good enough. And it attaches your self-worth to the story. These kind of childhood experiences tend to cause a lot of emotional pain and so these stories will often carry a lot of weight and really deplete your sense of self-worth, self-confidence, self-belief and self-trust.
Then what happens is, this story of not being good enough becomes a loop, repeating again and again throughout your lifetime, and it turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every setback feels like proof that you are indeed not good enough. And because you come to believe this story so strongly, and it's so very painful to feel like you are not good enough, you start avoiding any risk that might further prove it to be true. So essentially, you self-sabotage your chances of success to avoid the potential pain of failure.
The thing is, in avoiding the potential pain of failure, you are actually living out your story of not being good enough every single day, and you probably feel that pain even more. Every day, you don't do something because you're afraid of not being good enough, you are in fact being not good enough.
Let me see if I can explain this with an example.
Say you dream of starting your own business, but you've never even tried because you don't believe you're good enough. And remember, you want to avoid proving that to be true at all costs because it's so very painful.
Instead of moving forward and taking action towards starting your business, you keep telling yourself, and maybe others, “I'd love to start my own business, but I'm just not good enough”. Every time you have this thought, or this conversation with someone else, you'll be reminding yourself that you are not good enough and you'll feel the pain of not being good enough. Every time you meet someone who runs their own business, that reminder and that pain will resurface again. You'll feel the sting of not being good enough.
By not taking action, you are in fact living out the very failure you were trying to avoid. Every day you don't have your own business, it's another day that you are not good enough to have it.
How painful do you think it will be to be reminded every day, when you find up to a job you hate, that you don't have your own business because you're not good enough. And the worst part is, you don't know for sure you're not good enough because you've never even tried.
Listen, here's the real truth. You not being good enough isn't a fact. It's just an unchecked story. I challenge you to list five ways that you had been good enough in your lifetime. I'll give you five to start you off.
You were good enough to learn how to walk, and then run, skip, hop, jump, dance, cycle, swim, and so on and so on. You were good enough to learn how to hold a fork and knife and feed yourself. You were good enough to learn how to talk. You were good enough to learn how to get dressed.
Fast forward to today and you were good enough to connect to the internet, open this podcast episode in an app on your device or in your browser and listen in. Which means you were also good enough to either have a phone, a tablet or a computer that you know how to operate.
This might seem like really simplistic examples, but it's highly likely for every person listening into this episode, that they have been good enough to be successful in all of these ways. So my point is, if you have ever been good enough to be successful at anything at all, then this is proof that you can be good enough. Which means your story, your lie, that you are not good enough simply cannot be true.
And the secret to rebuilding your SELF Wealth lies in challenging these kind of stories that you're holding on to that deplete your self-worth, your self-confidence, self-belief, self-trust, and so on. Questioning their validity by looking for evidence that contradicts your stories.
Just because you haven't yet been successful in creating your own business doesn't mean that you are not good enough. The fact that you've been good enough to do something in any area of your life, is proof that you can be good enough.
Look for the evidence that supports the story that you are good enough. Start building up a bank of that kind of evidence. It doesn't matter how tiny your evidence is or what aspect of your life it comes from. But even just a single piece of evidence that demonstrates how you are good enough, is enough to prove your lie to be exactly that, a lie.
Here's three more tips to help you overcome this lie.
Tip number one is to reframe your negative self-talk.
Every time you catch the story of not being good enough playing out in your head, press pause and reframe your story. If you find yourself saying, “I'm not good enough because I haven't achieved x, y, or z”, reframe that to, “I am good enough to take the next step forward”.
Then take that step. Because every step you take is proof that you are capable, that you are growing, and that you are more than good enough to face the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.
Tip number two is to step away from the comparison trap.
Get really clear on what success looks like and feels like for you and you alone. Is it really about being perfect? Or is it about getting one step better every day and growing, learning and thriving at your own pace?
And tip number three is to have self-compassion.
Be as kind and loving to yourself as you would be to your best friend. Recognize that stumbling doesn't mean you have failed or that you are not good enough to do the things you want to do. It means that you're trying, learning and living. The only way I know how to truly fail is to stop trying, to stop learning. Allow yourself room to learn and grow without the harsh judgment.
My friend, you are good enough, you are more ready than you know, and time is in your hands. If you want to live a life you love, where you confidently do all the things you know you're here to do, it's time these lies stop. It's time to say YES! to you.
You get to choose what you make things mean. You have the power to choose the story you tell yourself about your SELF and what's possible in your world. You can rewrite the stories that hold you back from saying YES! to the kind of life you need to pinch yourself to believe is yours. Your stories are not facts, and you can tell a different story anytime you decide to do so.
Before I sign off from today's podcast episode, if you're listening in and you haven't grabbed a backstage pass to my weekly newsletter CREATED, my friend, you are missing out.
Every Wednesday, I share Self-Creation secrets with the women on my VIP list that I don't share anywhere else. Imagine saying YES! to your dreams after just one A-HA moment you had reading CREATED over your Wednesday morning latte.
If you want A-HA moments you can get your name on my list at https://selfcreationschool.com/created and I'll leave that link for you in the show notes.
So, that's it from me this week. I hope the rest of your week is as fabulous as you are. I'll see you next Wednesday.
Until then, be the woman who says YES!
Hey, have you joined my FREE mini-workshop the Week of YES!? This powerful five-day workshop will help you take your foot off the brake and start saying YES! to more of the life you crave. Isn't it time you created a life you're beyond excited to wake up to? It all begins with saying YES!. Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/weekofyes and get started on your YES! story today. I'll see you there.
In this episode of The Self-Creation School podcast, host Leanne Letica explores common self-imposed limitations, such as feeling not good enough, not being ready, or not having enough time, and offers insights on how to overcome them.
Leanne discusses the power of rewriting the stories we tell ourselves to move past these limitations and confidently pursue a life that fulfills us. Through examples and practical advice, she encourages listeners to say YES! to their dreams and aspirations by challenging misconceptions about readiness, time management, and self-worth.
Also featured are tips on overcoming negative self-talk, avoiding comparison, and practicing self-compassion. Additionally, Leanne invites listeners to join her free workshop and weekly newsletter for further Self-Creation secrets.
Episode Details:
00:00 Unveiling the Lies That Hold You Back
01:20 The Power of Saying YES! to Life
01:33 Debunking the Lies: Not Ready, Not Enough Time, Not Good Enough
04:28 The Fallacy of Being ‘Ready’
08:55 The Truth About ‘Not Having Enough Time’
11:57 Overcoming the ‘Not Good Enough’ Lie
19:12 Practical Tips to Rebuild Your SELF Wealth
21:55 Closing Thoughts and Resources
Mentioned Resources:
Want a backstage pass to my weekly Self-Creation secrets? Join CREATED, it’s the weekly email that helps you create YOUR SELF so you can create a LIFE YOU LOVE.
Imagine saying YES! to your dreams after just ONE A-HA moment you had reading CREATED over your Wednesday morning latte or sneaky glass of champs. #makeyourownrules
For A-HA moments join today at: https://selfcreationschool.com/created
Useful Resources:
- Discover Your YES! Block: https://selfcreationschool.com/yesblock
- Steal My Self-Creation Secrets: https://selfcreationschool.com/created
- Get My Manifesto: https://selfcreationschool.com/manifesto
- Grab My Daily Journal: https://selfcreationschool.com/dailyjournal
- Join Week of YES!: https://selfcreationschool.com/weekofyes
Connect with Leanne:
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfcreationschool/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/selfcreationschool/
Episode Downloads:
Transcript
Do you tell yourself lies like, “I'm not good enough”, “I'm not ready”, or “I don't have enough time”? My friend, these lies are stopping you from saying YES! to a life you love and confidently doing all the things you know you're here to do. In today's episode, I'm sharing why you tell yourself these lies and how to move past them.
If you've ever doubted yourself, hesitated to question whether you're ready to do something, or caught yourself in a state of constant busyness that leaves no time for saying YES! to you and the things you'd love to do, this episode is a must listen for you. Let's dive in.
Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I'm your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you're ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.
Hello my friend, I'm so pleased to have you join me in today's episode of The Self-Creation School podcast where I share my Self-Creation secrets for creating a life you love, one YES! at a time.
In the work I do with women at The Self-Creation School to shift their self-doubt and their shoulds so they can finally do all the things they're here to do, I hear statements like, “I'm not ready”, “I don't have enough time”, or “I'm just not good enough”, every single day. And these statements are stopping these women, like they might be for you too, from saying YES! to the life they could be experiencing.
I'm going to tell you exactly what I say to the women I work with who tell me these reasons for not being able to do the things they want to do. They are all lies. They are just stories. Stories you tell yourself about who you are and what's possible for you. And these stories are not facts. They are what you choose to believe are your facts.
Do they feel like your truth? Yes, absolutely. Because likely, you've told yourself these stories for so long now, they have become your truth. They are what you deeply believe. But they aren't facts.
Facts are something we could all agree on, like right now, you are listening to me in this podcast episode. What we wouldn't agree on is the story you tell yourself about this podcast episode.
Your story might be that you love it and it's really helpful. Or it could be that you hate it and stop listening halfway through. Your story might say you love the sound of my voice, or it might be it's boring to listen to me.
These are all stories about what your individual experience is listening to this podcast. But these stories are not facts because they're not something we could all agree on.
Listen, we all tell stories. We tell stories about everything. They are a natural part of our human existence. Stories are how we give meaning to the events we experience in our life. And when these events that we experience cause strong emotions in us, the stories we tell about these events, in particular the meaning we give to what these events tell us about who we are, become a foundation for what we believe about ourselves and what's possible in our world.
The problem is, some stories limit us and some stories make us limitless. Stories like, I'm not good enough, I'm not ready, and I don't have enough time, are all stories that are going to limit how you show up in your world, what you can do, and the life experience you create for yourself as a result.
So let's talk about these three stories. Because the truth is, being ready, having enough time, and being good enough are all misconceptions that, if left unchallenged, will confine you to your comfort zone and make you settle for a mediocre life, rather than experiencing all of the possibilities in the life you could be living.
The story of not being ready is a story your storyteller will often tell you whenever you're contemplating change to make you feel afraid and keep you in the comfort of what you know. It's a defense mechanism designed to protect you from the perceived threats associated with change. Threats like failure, judgment or loss.
Now these fears aren't reflections of reality. But rather, they are protective guesses, if you like, that your mind makes to help keep you safe within the confines of familiar territory. And your storyteller communicates this to you by telling you that you are not ready.
But the truth is being ready is a fallacy. The dictionary describes the word ready as having done everything that needs to be done to prepare for something. It brings to mind an image of neatly checking off all the items on a list, tying up all those loose ends, leaving no stone unturned, seeing the complete picture before you even begin.
The definition of readiness implies a state of perfect preparation, that in reality, just doesn't exist. You can never be truly 100 percent prepared, because you cannot know everything you need to do to achieve something, until you've done what it is you want to do.
Let me give you an example.
When I set out to launch this podcast, I had some idea about the things I would need to do to set the podcast up, create the podcast episodes and publish them each week. But as I started doing these things, there were countless other things I didn't know I would need to do that I could only know by taking the initial steps towards launching the podcast. Now that I've launched it, I can tell you exactly what I needed to do to get there. But I didn't know all of these things when I took the first few steps.
Now, if you've been following me for a while, you will have heard me share how long I delayed launching this podcast, because I told myself I wasn't ready. But it is impossible that I could ever be truly ready because by definition of the word, I did not, and could not 100 percent know all of the things I needed to be ready to do.
Readiness isn't about having all the answers or feeling confident about the outcome. It's about making a decision to start despite your uncertainty. Most successful people I know start before they are ready.
And as I shared in my very first podcast episode, the secret lies in feeling ready rather than being ready. Because when you feel ready, you'll take action even though you're uncertain about what you need to be ready to do or the outcome you need to be ready for. And feeling ready is about deciding that you are a woman who is ready to take action despite being uncertain.
So, if you are telling yourself this lie about not being ready, rather than asking if you are ready, consider what your life might look like if you never take that step. Because I hope you can see now that this isn't about being ready. Readiness is a choice, not a destination. A choice between continuing to live your life as is or backing yourself and going all in on creating the life you'd rather live.
Let's talk about not having enough time. Like I'm not ready, not having enough time is also a lie. It's a story you choose to tell yourself because of what you believe deep down you are capable of or deserving to experience in your world.
Time is often less about availability and more about what we choose to prioritize, and sometimes, what we wish to avoid. Many of us lead busy lives and we all have the same 24 hours in every day. It is the choices we make about where to allocate our time that truly shape our experiences and our outcomes.
The story of being too busy often masks a deeper hesitation about putting yourself first or struggling to justify investing time in yourself. Sometimes it's that you equate busyness with productivity and a signal of your value, and you mistakenly believe that time for yourself is a luxury you simply can't afford.
The truth is, you are your most worthwhile investment in your lifetime. The body you exist in must power you through every day, day in, day out, for the entire duration of your lifetime. It doesn't get a holiday, not even one day off. The health of your physical body, your mindset and emotional health, your spiritual health, these are all vitally important to living and experiencing a healthy life.
Investing in yourself to nourish your body, your mind, your emotions, your spirituality – it isn't a luxury, it's a necessity for creating a fulfilling life where you matter, your days matter, and your life matters. And the lie of not having enough time is a story that will hold you back from saying YES! to that kind of life.
Not being worthy of the time to say YES! to you and the things that matter uniquely to you is closely tied with not being good enough, which I'm going to talk about in just a moment. But before I move on, I want to offer you this suggestion.
Whenever you find yourself thinking you'd love to do something, but you just don't have enough time, the real question I invite you to consider isn't whether you have enough time, it's whether you're ready to draw a line in the sand and make you a priority. And perhaps the deeper question is, given you have just this one precious life, can you afford the time not to?
Which brings me to perhaps the biggest lie of all, which is the story, I'm not good enough. This is a lie that stops countless women living the life they deserve, and that they are in fact good enough to create.
The story of not being good enough comes down to one thing – your SELF Wealth. Like your self-worth, self-confidence, self-belief, self-trust, and so on.
This isn't a question of if you are good enough. It's whether or not you recognize your inherent worth, that you are worthy just because you exist aside from any external markers of success or achievement, or the acceptance and approval of others. It's whether you trust in your capabilities and your ability to learn and grow, just as you have in reality since the day you were born. And it's whether you believe in your potential.
Now, this lie often starts from events that happened in your childhood. Maybe it was a critical remark from a teacher, or maybe you were always compared unfavorably to someone else who seemed to do everything right, like a sibling perhaps. And your ill-equipped child brain decided to make these events mean that you're just not good enough. And it attaches your self-worth to the story. These kind of childhood experiences tend to cause a lot of emotional pain and so these stories will often carry a lot of weight and really deplete your sense of self-worth, self-confidence, self-belief and self-trust.
Then what happens is, this story of not being good enough becomes a loop, repeating again and again throughout your lifetime, and it turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every setback feels like proof that you are indeed not good enough. And because you come to believe this story so strongly, and it's so very painful to feel like you are not good enough, you start avoiding any risk that might further prove it to be true. So essentially, you self-sabotage your chances of success to avoid the potential pain of failure.
The thing is, in avoiding the potential pain of failure, you are actually living out your story of not being good enough every single day, and you probably feel that pain even more. Every day, you don't do something because you're afraid of not being good enough, you are in fact being not good enough.
Let me see if I can explain this with an example.
Say you dream of starting your own business, but you've never even tried because you don't believe you're good enough. And remember, you want to avoid proving that to be true at all costs because it's so very painful.
Instead of moving forward and taking action towards starting your business, you keep telling yourself, and maybe others, “I'd love to start my own business, but I'm just not good enough”. Every time you have this thought, or this conversation with someone else, you'll be reminding yourself that you are not good enough and you'll feel the pain of not being good enough. Every time you meet someone who runs their own business, that reminder and that pain will resurface again. You'll feel the sting of not being good enough.
By not taking action, you are in fact living out the very failure you were trying to avoid. Every day you don't have your own business, it's another day that you are not good enough to have it.
How painful do you think it will be to be reminded every day, when you find up to a job you hate, that you don't have your own business because you're not good enough. And the worst part is, you don't know for sure you're not good enough because you've never even tried.
Listen, here's the real truth. You not being good enough isn't a fact. It's just an unchecked story. I challenge you to list five ways that you had been good enough in your lifetime. I'll give you five to start you off.
You were good enough to learn how to walk, and then run, skip, hop, jump, dance, cycle, swim, and so on and so on. You were good enough to learn how to hold a fork and knife and feed yourself. You were good enough to learn how to talk. You were good enough to learn how to get dressed.
Fast forward to today and you were good enough to connect to the internet, open this podcast episode in an app on your device or in your browser and listen in. Which means you were also good enough to either have a phone, a tablet or a computer that you know how to operate.
This might seem like really simplistic examples, but it's highly likely for every person listening into this episode, that they have been good enough to be successful in all of these ways. So my point is, if you have ever been good enough to be successful at anything at all, then this is proof that you can be good enough. Which means your story, your lie, that you are not good enough simply cannot be true.
And the secret to rebuilding your SELF Wealth lies in challenging these kind of stories that you're holding on to that deplete your self-worth, your self-confidence, self-belief, self-trust, and so on. Questioning their validity by looking for evidence that contradicts your stories.
Just because you haven't yet been successful in creating your own business doesn't mean that you are not good enough. The fact that you've been good enough to do something in any area of your life, is proof that you can be good enough.
Look for the evidence that supports the story that you are good enough. Start building up a bank of that kind of evidence. It doesn't matter how tiny your evidence is or what aspect of your life it comes from. But even just a single piece of evidence that demonstrates how you are good enough, is enough to prove your lie to be exactly that, a lie.
Here's three more tips to help you overcome this lie.
Tip number one is to reframe your negative self-talk.
Every time you catch the story of not being good enough playing out in your head, press pause and reframe your story. If you find yourself saying, “I'm not good enough because I haven't achieved x, y, or z”, reframe that to, “I am good enough to take the next step forward”.
Then take that step. Because every step you take is proof that you are capable, that you are growing, and that you are more than good enough to face the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.
Tip number two is to step away from the comparison trap.
Get really clear on what success looks like and feels like for you and you alone. Is it really about being perfect? Or is it about getting one step better every day and growing, learning and thriving at your own pace?
And tip number three is to have self-compassion.
Be as kind and loving to yourself as you would be to your best friend. Recognize that stumbling doesn't mean you have failed or that you are not good enough to do the things you want to do. It means that you're trying, learning and living. The only way I know how to truly fail is to stop trying, to stop learning. Allow yourself room to learn and grow without the harsh judgment.
My friend, you are good enough, you are more ready than you know, and time is in your hands. If you want to live a life you love, where you confidently do all the things you know you're here to do, it's time these lies stop. It's time to say YES! to you.
You get to choose what you make things mean. You have the power to choose the story you tell yourself about your SELF and what's possible in your world. You can rewrite the stories that hold you back from saying YES! to the kind of life you need to pinch yourself to believe is yours. Your stories are not facts, and you can tell a different story anytime you decide to do so.
Before I sign off from today's podcast episode, if you're listening in and you haven't grabbed a backstage pass to my weekly newsletter CREATED, my friend, you are missing out.
Every Wednesday, I share Self-Creation secrets with the women on my VIP list that I don't share anywhere else. Imagine saying YES! to your dreams after just one A-HA moment you had reading CREATED over your Wednesday morning latte.
If you want A-HA moments you can get your name on my list at https://selfcreationschool.com/created and I'll leave that link for you in the show notes.
So, that's it from me this week. I hope the rest of your week is as fabulous as you are. I'll see you next Wednesday.
Until then, be the woman who says YES!
Hey, have you joined my FREE mini-workshop the Week of YES!? This powerful five-day workshop will help you take your foot off the brake and start saying YES! to more of the life you crave. Isn't it time you created a life you're beyond excited to wake up to? It all begins with saying YES!. Head over to https://selfcreationschool.com/weekofyes and get started on your YES! story today. I'll see you there.
BY LEANNE LETICA
BY LEANNE LETICA
EPISODE release date // May 1, 2024