One of the most liberating things you can ever learn is that you are not responsible for other people’s feelings. And that’s exactly what we’re talking about in this week’s Summer Secret.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I’m your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you’re ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

A very warm hello from my hot and sunny corner of the world to wherever this podcast finds you. This is week nine of my Summer Secrets Series. If you are new to me or the series, these Summer Secrets are designed to build upon each other. So the best place to start is right back at week one.

Since last week’s episode, I’ve been thinking a lot about why we find it just so difficult to set boundaries and uphold them. And one of the big reasons is because we feel like we are responsible for everyone else’s feelings. And no one likes upsetting or disappointing people, right? Something that putting new boundaries in place tends to do.

But controlling how other people respond emotionally is actually impossible, firstly. And secondly, it’s exhausting. Think about how much mental and emotional energy you spend trying to manage other people’s reactions. Trying to say things just the right way so nobody gets upset. Avoiding certain topics because someone might take it the wrong way.

And the problem is, everyone filters every experience through their own beliefs, their own past, their own worldview. So you can have the best intentions in the world and someone will still misunderstand you. You can bend over backwards to make everyone happy and someone will still find fault in your words or actions.

Sometimes there simply is no right thing that pleases everyone, and it’s not a failure on your behalf. It’s just being human in a world full of humans who all see things very differently.

Here’s the truth. You cannot control other people’s reactions. You can influence them, sure. You can be kind, considerate, and thoughtful. But their emotional response? That belongs entirely to them.

Everyone gets to choose what they make things mean, and in turn how that makes them feel. So everyone gets to choose how they emotionally experience your words and your actions because they get to decide what they make those things mean. And that choice, that’s theirs to make, not yours to manage.

This doesn’t mean you don’t care about how your actions affect people. Of course you do. But there’s a difference between caring about impact and taking responsibility for someone else’s emotional experience.

Emotional resilience comes from understanding this distinction. It comes from focusing on what you can actually control, which is your own emotional responses, instead of trying to control what you cannot.

When you understand that other people’s reactions are information about them — it’s information about their triggers, their fears, their past experiences, their beliefs, their limitations, their hurt and trauma, and not a verdict on your worth or often anything about you at all — honestly, it’s liberating in a life changing way.

You stop walking on eggshells, you stop editing yourself into someone you don’t recognize. You stop making yourself small to make others comfortable. Instead, you start taking responsibility for what is actually yours. Your intentions, your actions, your responses, and your emotional well-being.

So, this week I invite you to start noticing when you’re trying to manage someone else’s emotional response, and pause to ask yourself, “What am I making their emotional reaction mean about me?” Then take three deep breaths and redirect your focus back to what you can control — you.

Remember, you can be kind and considerate without being responsible for everyone else’s emotional experience. You can care deeply about people without carrying the weight of their reactions. Emotional resilience isn’t about becoming uncaring. It’s about understanding where your responsibility ends and theirs begins.

And that is this week’s Summer Secret.

A quick reminder to subscribe to the show for next week’s secret, and join the summer secret email series at https://selfcreationschool.com/created if you’d like a reminder to listen in.

I can’t wait to share next week’s Summer Secret.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!.

One of the most liberating things you can ever learn is that you are not responsible for other people’s feelings. And that’s exactly what we’re talking about in this week’s Summer Secret.

Welcome to The Self-Creation School podcast, for women who are ready to ditch mediocrity, step up and get more of what they want, and finally say YES! to a life that sets their soul on fire. I’m your host Leanne Letica, Self-Creation Coach, founder of The Self-Creation School AND Queen of YES!. If you’re ready to play life by your own personal rule book, and give yourself permission to say YES! to yourself and your wildest dreams, this podcast is the place for you.

A very warm hello from my hot and sunny corner of the world to wherever this podcast finds you. This is week nine of my Summer Secrets Series. If you are new to me or the series, these Summer Secrets are designed to build upon each other. So the best place to start is right back at week one.

Since last week’s episode, I’ve been thinking a lot about why we find it just so difficult to set boundaries and uphold them. And one of the big reasons is because we feel like we are responsible for everyone else’s feelings. And no one likes upsetting or disappointing people, right? Something that putting new boundaries in place tends to do.

But controlling how other people respond emotionally is actually impossible, firstly. And secondly, it’s exhausting. Think about how much mental and emotional energy you spend trying to manage other people’s reactions. Trying to say things just the right way so nobody gets upset. Avoiding certain topics because someone might take it the wrong way.

And the problem is, everyone filters every experience through their own beliefs, their own past, their own worldview. So you can have the best intentions in the world and someone will still misunderstand you. You can bend over backwards to make everyone happy and someone will still find fault in your words or actions.

Sometimes there simply is no right thing that pleases everyone, and it’s not a failure on your behalf. It’s just being human in a world full of humans who all see things very differently.

Here’s the truth. You cannot control other people’s reactions. You can influence them, sure. You can be kind, considerate, and thoughtful. But their emotional response? That belongs entirely to them.

Everyone gets to choose what they make things mean, and in turn how that makes them feel. So everyone gets to choose how they emotionally experience your words and your actions because they get to decide what they make those things mean. And that choice, that’s theirs to make, not yours to manage.

This doesn’t mean you don’t care about how your actions affect people. Of course you do. But there’s a difference between caring about impact and taking responsibility for someone else’s emotional experience.

Emotional resilience comes from understanding this distinction. It comes from focusing on what you can actually control, which is your own emotional responses, instead of trying to control what you cannot.

When you understand that other people’s reactions are information about them — it’s information about their triggers, their fears, their past experiences, their beliefs, their limitations, their hurt and trauma, and not a verdict on your worth or often anything about you at all — honestly, it’s liberating in a life changing way.

You stop walking on eggshells, you stop editing yourself into someone you don’t recognize. You stop making yourself small to make others comfortable. Instead, you start taking responsibility for what is actually yours. Your intentions, your actions, your responses, and your emotional well-being.

So, this week I invite you to start noticing when you’re trying to manage someone else’s emotional response, and pause to ask yourself, “What am I making their emotional reaction mean about me?” Then take three deep breaths and redirect your focus back to what you can control — you.

Remember, you can be kind and considerate without being responsible for everyone else’s emotional experience. You can care deeply about people without carrying the weight of their reactions. Emotional resilience isn’t about becoming uncaring. It’s about understanding where your responsibility ends and theirs begins.

And that is this week’s Summer Secret.

A quick reminder to subscribe to the show for next week’s secret, and join the summer secret email series at https://selfcreationschool.com/created if you’d like a reminder to listen in.

I can’t wait to share next week’s Summer Secret.

Until then, be the woman who says YES!.